


Night Drive

by shotgunsinlace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Angsty Schmoop, Bathroom Sex, Body Worship, Butt Plugs, Car Sex, Cock Rings, Consensual Possession, Dirty Talk, Dubiously Consensual Infidelity, Face-Fucking, Frottage, Jealousy, Light Bondage, M/M, Marking, Mutual Masturbation, Office Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Drug Use, Praise Kink, Public Sex, Punishment, Rough Sex, Sensory Deprivation, Sex Toys, Teasing, mild d/s dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:24:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 50,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotgunsinlace/pseuds/shotgunsinlace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working as a desk clerk for Sina Enterprises isn’t the most grandiose job out there, but it sure beats every other option Eren had jotted down since graduation. Troubled past behind him, Eren strives to make a name for himself by not fucking up the only good thing he has going for him. But when a certain foul-mouthed and dapper executive waltzes through the lobby doors, Eren is more than willing to set aside his “no fraternizing with the higher-ups” rule. However, the engagement ring on Levi’s finger proves to be a deal breaker. It was supposed to be a one night stand, one night to get each other out of their systems, but the two of them bit off more than they could chew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stop

**Author's Note:**

> Four weeks ago I decided I wanted to write a valentine's day fic. The original idea was to keep it around 10k at the maximum... but that did not work at all, as y'all can see. Also! I'd like to point out that there's some heavily hinted past!Eren/Jean in this, so just a head's up. On another note, music played a very important role in this, so I made a [playlist over at 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/shotgunsinlace/stoplights) for your enjoyment.
> 
>  **EDIT:** It has been brought to my attention (rather rudely) that I tagged this fic inappropriately, namely tagging as Erwin/Levi when it isn't the endgame pairing of this fic. I want to apologize to all eruri shippers who have ambled in here expecting something else, but this _is_ a Levi/Eren fic with heavy dosages of Erwin/Levi. I only tagged for the easily squicked, and because I have a tendency to compulsively tag my shit. My apology for any inconvenience this may have caused. You may proceed.

**September.**

Eren’s first day on the job has him feeling jittery. He knows most of the people at Sina Enterprises already, having interned here two summers ago, but he isn’t a student anymore and that leaves him with no excuse to fall back on if he screws up.

It’s just the average sort of butterflies that comes with the realization that he’s a big boy now, a full-fledged adult despite his dinosaur collection and video game posters in his room. He’s no longer Dr. Jaeger’s estranged son, but Eren Jaeger, desk clerk for one of New York’s pharmaceutical giants. The title itself isn’t grandiose, but it definitely means something in the face of those who were adamant that he would never graduate. It’s something he achieved himself, something to be proud of.

How a kid fresh out of university lands such a job is still a mystery to him, but he’s learned never to look a gift horse in the mouth. What matters is that three weeks ago he was sitting in the CEO’s office, looking Smith in the eye as he sprouted a discourse on how the company could benefit from his expertise with fake confidence and surprising ease. Unimpressed yet amused, Smith had asked him to sign the dotted line.

Mikasa reassured Eren that no respectable company would hire out of pity. He still couldn't believe it.

It wasn’t like Smith knew who Eren was since they had never seen each other face to face. Eren had heard of him once or twice during his internship, but other than that, neither of them had anything to go on. He had, in fact, been surprised of how charismatic and shockingly handsome the CEO actually is.

Clearing his throat and tugging at the knot of his tie, Eren fidgets.

It’s hardly even noon by the time he’s sorted out correspondences, gone through the calling list, confirmed scheduled meetings, and either replied or forwarded inquisitive emails. No fuck-ups so far, and he’s even kept his workstation clean.

For a moment he debates whether or not to play a game of solitaire on the computer, but out fear that there may be a high possibility of security cameras trained on every angle of the lobby, he decides against it. He’ll weather the boredom by pretending to write down important things, when it truth he’s just making his grocery list.

Rent’s due next week, as well as his phone bill. Mikasa is stopping by for a visit on the weekend after, which is also the weekend when his internet bill is due.

All in all, Eren’s come to the conclusion that life as an adult sucks ass, and he would rather be at his apartment shooting zombies on his flat screen TV.

He eventually ends up doodling on a notepad.

The sound of a voice startles him into attention when the lobby doors open, and Eren needlessly sorts things out at the desk. He recognizes the voice almost instantly and he doesn’t look up, because the thought of being in the same room with him makes Eren’s heart skip a beat.

“Here’s what you’re going to do, listen up because I’m only going to say this once. You’re going to find the biggest, most prickly goddamned cactus you can get your hands on and you’re going to shove it so far up your fucking ass you’ll be spitting out needles until you’re sixty.”

Eren winces but still manages to smile. While Smith’s unearthly charm is the trait that makes him stand out, Levi’s deadly yet creative threats are what make him pop in a crowd.

Eren tries not to ogle him as he crosses the lobby with a manila folder pinned under his arm, a suitcase in hand, and a phone in the other. He’s making his way towards the desk, eyes trained on his watch as he talks with whomever seems to be giving him a rough time, and Eren takes a deep breath, sporting his most professional smile.

Ending the call, Levi slips his phone into his blazer pocket. “Reiss, I need you to tell Erwin I won’t be able to make it to the…” his voice dies away when he finally looks at Eren. “Where’s the blonde one?”

“She’s been given the evening shift, sir,” Eren says as evenly as possible. He turns to the keyboard and opens the company’s browser. “Good morning, by the way. I’m—”

“You’re the intern,” he cuts in, and he’s just as pleasant and expressive as Eren remembers him to be. _Not._ “Jaeger.”

Eren is surprised that he remembers his name. “Ex-intern,” he corrects, typing in Smith’s email. “I’m a full-fledged worker now.”

“I thought those five months would’ve scared you off,” Levi says, fixing the cufflink on his left sleeve. “You’re an idiot to willingly sign up for such a shit-ass job.”

The smile on Eren’s face turns into something less forced. “Sina Enterprises is the elite in advanced pharmaceuticals development. Working here can further advance my expertise on the field while aiding in the company’s progress.”

“Cut the crap.”

Eren downright grins. “A job’s a job. It pays the bills.”

Levi makes a noise that is almost a chuckle, and Eren would be lying if he said he hasn’t missed hearing it during this past year and a half.

“Your message for Mr. Smith?” he prompts, fingers at the ready.

There’s no immediate answer, and all Eren hears is the hypnotic drumming of Levi’s nails against the marble desktop. Something tells him that Levi is staring at him, so he refrains from looking in his direction. He almost repeats the question when Levi finally speaks up.

“Tell him I won’t be making tonight’s appointment, but I’ll be stopping by his office first thing tomorrow.”

Eren doesn’t miss a beat, typing quickly and efficiently. “Would that be all?” At Levi’s affirmation, he sends the email and minimizes the browser. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” He feels awkward as all hell speaking this way, especially when he usually speaks using internet slang. It almost feels as awkward as wearing a suit outside of graduation or a funeral.

Levi looks like he’s about to say something but decides against it.

He shouldn’t stare, Eren tells himself, but it’s hard not to. By all means, Levi’s nowhere near as handsome as Smith, but he’s attractive in a peculiar way Eren can’t quite explain. His eyes are naturally smoky, making the pale blue color of his irises pop. His face is all sharp angles framed by neatly trimmed hair the color of the blackest night. The guy may be shorter than Eren, but the way the suit frames his body speaks of hidden muscle—

“Take a picture,” Levi says, face deadpan.

Eren ducks his head, fearing that the heat on his face will melt it right off from embarrassment. He has half a mind to mumble an apology as he rummages for something to do.

“I’m gonna pretend you weren’t just undressing me with your eyes,” he says, but something in the way he says it makes Eren’s toes curl. “The extension to my office is the fifth one on the log.” Eren already knows that. “Give me a call if you need anything.”

Finally looking up at him, Eren finds that his face is unchanged. Maybe his eyes have narrowed slightly, but it’s nothing worth noting. However, blame it on his libido probably, but Eren could have sworn those words sounded smoother than everything else he’s just said.

Swallowing around the knot in his throat, Eren nods. “Of course, sir.”

“Calling me by my name won’t get you fired,” he says, pulling away from the desk and fixing his tie.

Eren grips his pen tighter. “Of course, Levi.”

Knocking his fist against the marble surface, Levi takes off. He fumbles for the phone in his pocket while waiting for the elevator, and Eren takes the moment to admire that spectacularly sculpted ass.

❖

**October.**

It’s been more than a month, and Eren’s now comfortable enough to play solitaire between the hours of 10:00 and 11:00 in the morning. Not a single soul strays in or out, so he makes it his unofficial break. He makes sure not to leave his station for more than five minutes at a time however, and he finds that he doesn’t have to.

For the past two weeks, at exactly 11:45 AM, Levi breezes in through the front doors in his usual busy state. Wordlessly, he leaves Eren a cup of coffee, the kind only rich and trendy kids drink. He never spares Eren more than a passing glance, but Eren has made a habit of calling out with a “thank you!” every single time.

Not a day goes by that the extension doesn’t mock him, and were this college, Eren would have hit Levi up a long time ago. As it is, he’s sworn to act like an adult where it matters. Fraternizing with his higher-ups is definitely within the top ten fuck-ups he must avoid at all costs.

Suddenly, Eren has found a new pastime. He spends the mornings fantasizing about a million and one ways a conversation between him and Levi would go. Bantering, crude language, mildly suggestive tones that Eren may or may not have imagined… He stops his scenarios before they get too raunchy, because it really wouldn’t do to pop a boner at work. He usually saves those for his late night showers.

It’s the Friday before Halloween when the routine changes. Levi doesn’t show up at his accustomed time, and Eren is tempted to email him and verify if he’s coming in today. He doesn’t, mostly because Levi would have called to inform him of it.

He plays with the browser, opening and closing it, even typing in a full message before deleting it and closing the page.

Eren cleans his station until it’s spotless. He takes several bathroom breaks, drinks water, and adjusts the cushions on the lobby’s divans.

He paces.

Aware that he is most likely overreacting, he tries to entertain himself by running through this morning’s list, but it’s useless. He’s done all of the work that always piles up overnight, and has replied to every single company email in the inbox.

The day slinks by agonizingly slowly, and Eren spends it watching the hustle and bustle on the street outside the glass doors. He counts the yellow cabs, and then he counts the umbrellas.

At one point he starts texting his sister, who reprimands him for slacking off at work.

The sound of laughter heralds Levi’s arrival through the glass doors, and the sound is so odd he does a double-take to make sure it really is him. It is, and by his side walks Smith, grinning from ear to ear. The sight is a baffling one, considering how serious and inconspicuous both individuals are, Levi more than Smith.

Eren stares as they walk across the lobby, speaking in hushed tones and holding back the occasional giggle until they settle into more adequate chuckles. His jaw nearly drops when they both wait for the elevator doors to open, and when they do, Smith places a hand to Levi’s lower back, ushering him inside.

He feels gobsmacked.

Not that it’s any of his business what Levi and the CEO get up to, but a distinct twinge of jealousy lodges itself in the cavity of his chest. He doesn’t have the right to feel this way. He’s a co-worker, a subordinate. Simply because Levi had been nice enough to bring him coffee every morning doesn’t mean he’s remotely special.

Eren aches at the realization that the flirtations have indeed been imagined all this time, and that leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He hasn’t felt this way since high school.

A hand on his shoulder startles Eren out of his stupor, and for a horrifying moment he thinks it’s a guest. He whips around to find too-big blue eyes brimming with concern.

“Is everything alright?” Historia says, placing her binder on the desk and fixing Eren with an inquisitive stare.

He blinks up at her, rater dumbly, before looking down at the time on the computer screen. It’s a quarter past five. “Oh.”

“You look a little shaken up,” she says, her eyebrows knitting in concern.

“Uh, no, I just… lost track of time,” Eren blurts out, quickly getting up and gathering his things. Usually he’s out the door the moment the clock strikes five. “Sorry ‘bout that. I’ll be out of your hair in a moment.”

Historia is still looking at him as if there’s something on his face that shouldn’t be there. “I’m not… Eren, are you…? No, I’m here to close up,” she says, but she doesn’t sound too sure about herself.

His own binder already tucked under his arm, Eren raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because the party starts in an hour?”

There’s a long pause as she waits for him to catch up, and after a moment of wracking his brain, he only pulls up a blank. “What party?”

Tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, Historia shakes her head. “The Halloween party, silly. Didn’t you get the invite?”

Eren’s spent the entire day going through every email, letter and message but hadn’t seen or heard anything about a party. Besides, he hadn’t even been aware that such things as office parties actually occur in real life. So far he had thought them a thing of fiction, something that only happened in movies.

“No, not really,” he says, looking down at his feet. “Did you?”

“Last week. Maybe you misplaced it?”

Doubtful, considering Eren’s been grasping at every opportunity that might bring him closer to Levi. Not that it matters at this point. “No, I… Yeah,” he finally concedes, unwilling to keep holding a conversation. “Actually, I did. Now I remember. I had cancelled in advanced because I, uh, have a date tonight.”

He deserves the award for being the world’s most terrible liar, but Historia nods. She doesn’t look convinced, but thankfully she doesn’t press the matter. “That’s a shame. It would have been nice for everyone to get to know you.”

Eren gives her a forced smile as he pockets his phone and maneuvers himself out of his station as fast as it’s socially acceptable. “Maybe next time? Besides, I’m sure everyone here knows who I am.” At least the veterans do.

He turns towards the door with a polite wave, and he thinks he hears her wishing him luck on his date.

It’s beginning to grow dark, and he’s annoyed about forgetting to bring his jacket. His breath mists as a testament to how cold it is, so he tucks his hands under his arms. At least the throng of people is thick enough to emulate some kind of warmth.

Eren considers calling a cab, but it’s New York City on a Friday night, and there’s a higher probability of getting mugged than getting a cab to actually stop. The apartment isn’t too far, so he figures a little cold would probably do his hot head some good. Right now he wants to punch something.

He can deal with Levi hanging out with Smith; he’s entitled to having relationships in and outside of work, and it’s none of Eren’s fucking business. He can deal with not getting invited to a stupid Halloween party, this isn’t high school. And yet he feels absolutely miserable.

❖

**November.**

On Monday, Levi arrives before Eren’s shift starts, and Eren finds out when he discovers a cup of coffee on the desk, accompanied by a chocolate muffin and a small tin box.

Inside is an assortment of Halloween candy.

❖

**December.**

Eren may have been a slacker throughout his entire life, barely passing grades whenever he bothered showing up to class, but it’s a habit he’s long since left behind. Long since meaning a few months ago, just before graduation. With the promise to not fuck up the only good thing he’s got going for himself still fresh in his head, he feels horrible for having to miss three straight days due to a cold.

Historia had been kind enough to fill him in on everything on a daily basis, despite her insistence of him getting plenty of rest.

He returns on a Thursday, his nose still stuffy and eyes watery, but at least the fever hasn’t reappeared. Eren makes sure to wrap himself nicely to face the cold. He makes a mental note to make his next big investment a car.

Pushing open the front doors, Eren blesses the heat that graces his aching cheeks. He pops his joints and works out the kinks in his neck as he crosses the lobby, removing his coat as he goes. The click of his shoes against the polished floor sounds deafening in the otherwise dead silence, and nothing has ever sounded sweeter. It’s a ridiculous thought, but Eren thinks he may have gotten used to this.

Placing his binder on the desk, Eren nearly jumps out of his skin when he notices someone sitting on one of the divans that decorate the lobby.

Levi’s looking at him from across the room, legs crossed and a magazine draped over his lap.

There’s a beat in which they both just stare at each other, Levi’s face as indifferent as always. Eren sure missed it.

“Where the hell have you been?”

The question surprises Eren, causing him to fumble with his things behind the desk. “I had a cold,” he offers snappily. “ _Have_ a cold, since it feels like my nose is currently on fire.”

“That’s three complimentary coffees Reiss has gotten this week,” Levi says, narrowing his eyes to the point that it’s easy to see how displeased he is. “Would it have killed you to give me a damn call?”

It’s Eren’s turn to glare. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t aware I had to personally excuse myself with you.” He had called in, and he even has a medical certificate tucked in his pocket. “Not like I have your personal number,” he adds in a mumble, but Levi’s hearing is surprisingly sharp.

“Did you even look in the goddamned box?”

“What box?” Eren thinks back to whatever he may mean, but the only box he remembers having in his hands in the small tin one he received after Halloween. “That box.” He recalls seeing a paper at the bottom, but he wrote it off as probably being a stray piece of confetti. “Shit.”

Levi turns his attention back to the magazine. “Shit-for-brains.”

Eren pulls a face but doesn’t give him a witty remark. “I’ll pay you back.”

“That’s not the point.”

Turning on the computer and neatly folding his coat, tucking it on a shelf underneath the desk, Eren huffs. He’s unsure of what to make of Levi’s reply, if there is anything to be made of.

This past month has drifted by much like the first one, with coffee waiting at his desk, or a smoothie whenever Levi turns up past noon. An occasional pastry has been left behind as well, and for the longest time Eren has been thinking that it’s something Levi does for everybody, and if not everybody, at least the desk clerk. So unless Levi dislikes Historia – which is a physical impossibility because everybody and their mother adores Historia – that means Eren’s a special case.

Brutally crushing down the twinge of hope in his chest, Eren runs a hand through his hair and tries not to sneeze.

He hasn’t seen Smith around lately, and Levi still arrives and leaves by himself.

“Okay,” Eren says, fixing the knot of his tie. It’s been three and a half months and he’s tired of being dragged along. “Tell me then, Levi. What _is_ the point?” He tries not to sound exasperated, but fails.

Eren steps out of his station and walks across the lobby, not wanting to keep raising his voice when his throat is already sore. He tries not to be intimidated when Levi looks up at him with hooded eyes that spell out bloody murder. Then again, every expression Levi ever wears spells out bloody murder.

Waiting for an answer, Eren doesn’t expect the once-over he gets.

Apathetic look aside, Levi has the decency to raise his thin eyebrows before returning to his magazine.

Now, Eren’s no expert in reading him, but he’s willing to bet his limbs that the hum Levi makes is one of interest. Or maybe it’s approval. The man’s wardrobe always seems so pristine and top-notch, perhaps he appreciates Eren’s dressing choice. “Well?” Eren presses.

Levi doesn’t look up. “Well what?”

“I asked you a question.”

“So you did,” he says, flipping a page. “An irrelevant one if you consider the entirety of the situation, but it seems you lack the necessary analytical skills to see it.”

Eren crosses his arms in front of his chest. He wants to sass him right back, but Levi’s got a point. “Care to enlighten me?”

Levi closes the magazine and wraps it up, tapping it against his knee as he leans back. Eren’s only been away three days, and he had already forgotten just how ridiculously attractive he actually is. The blue of his tie contrasts nicely with the paleness of his skin, and he’s most definitely staring again.

“Let’s see,” Levi says, feigning pensiveness. “A guy buys his co-worker coffee every goddamned morning, gives him his private number, compliments his suit—”

“You’ve never done that,” Eren quips.

“I just did,” Levi says, his tone daring Eren to interrupt him again. “All the while he doesn’t know shit about this co-worker of his.”

“So either this guy’s a creep or…” Eren tries to joke.

Levi’s head is angled towards his shoes, and only his eyes flicker up towards Eren. Seeing those dark lashes frame his eyes is a blessing, because it is without a doubt the sexiest thing Eren has ever witnessed. “That tie contrasts your skin quite nicely,” he says, and that is most definitely a mischievous smirk Eren sees.

“You’re flirting with me,” Eren blurts out before he can stop himself, and he cringes automatically.

“That was really smooth, Jaeger,” Levi says, biting on sarcastic.

“That was supposed to stay in my head.” Of course he’d make a full out of himself at such an important moment. _Of course._

Eren steps aside when Levi gets up to place the magazine on top of the others on the table before adjusting his blazer. As usual, the suit’s cut hugs Levi’s frame perfectly.

From inside the blazer, he pulls out a small envelope. “I figured that by personally delivering this to you, you won’t conveniently lose it.”

Eren takes it and stares at it, but doesn’t open. “What is this?”

“A formally written invitation,” Levi says, and Eren’s surprised to find that he isn’t joking. “The Christmas party is next week and Erwin wants everyone to be there. So dress nice and please scrub off the grime behind your ears. It’s disgusting.”

The elegant cursive is written in gold ink, and Eren vaguely wonders if Levi had been the one to write it.

“Will do,” Eren says, slipping the card back into its envelope and tucking it into his breast pocket.

“Don’t be late.”

Levi turns towards the elevator, and Eren wonders if he had come down just to wait for him. A rational part of him tells him that he didn’t, that he most likely had to come in early to fill in some extra work, but another part of him liked the idea that he did.

Since it’s officially established that they’re flirting, Eren figures it’s officially okay for him to have these kinds of stupidly vanilla thoughts.

“The next time I spend money on something you won’t be enjoying,” Levi says when the elevator doors open, “I’ll make sure you pay me back with the money earned from selling your skin on the black market.”

His words are accentuated with the ding of the elevator, the closing doors making the threat far more ominous than it should be.

❖

“How do I know he isn’t actually a serial killer?” Eren says into his phone, although the words sound muffled and nothing at all like he intended them thanks to the toothbrush scrubbing away at his teeth.

 _“Doesn’t he work for the same company?”_ is Armin’s worried reply. _“Sure, he sounds overly violent but there’s a high probability it’s just a quirk. Kind of like your temper.”_

“Dude, a quirk is something like… I don’t know, having the tendency to chew on your straw or something.” Rinsing out his mouth, Eren bares his teeth in the mirror to make sure he hasn’t missed anything. “Me wanting to clobber someone’s brains out and Levi threatening to sell my spleen isn’t quirky.”

The party starts in thirty minutes, and Eren is still walking around his apartment in boxers. He prays to whatever deity listening that there may be a clean suit hanging in his closet. Kicking over bundles of dirty laundry, he considers reusing this morning’s socks, but decides against it.

Taking the last clean towel hanging on the rack, Eren drapes it over his head before walking into his bedroom. “I’m probably reading too much into it,” he concedes after a moment of comfortable silence. “Sure, it’s obvious the guy digs me, he kind of sort of said so…” Levi admitted to flirting, so that’s close enough, “And you can bet I wanna bone his sweet ass,” Armin makes a noise that may or may not be a disgruntled groan, “But that doesn’t mean we’re leaving the party together, right?”

Opening his closet door, Eren pushes his clothing to the left and is ecstatic to discover a neatly pressed suit. It’s the one he wore at graduation and it smells like it’s spent it’s last ten years trapped in a drawer, but nothing some air freshener can’t fix. He knows he’s going to make a terrible impression at the party, but he can’t be fucked.

_“You never know, Eren. It won’t hurt to be prepared.”_

“You’re right. I should buy some condoms.”

 _“That’s not what I meant,”_ Armin says, and Eren can almost see his childhood friend getting ready to pull his hairs out.

“Flowers? Mints? Nice lingerie?” Eren tries to jump his way into his pants while keeping the phone pinned with his shoulder. After a moment he realizes he can just put Armin on speaker, so he does. Placing the phone over his dresser and tapping the screen, Eren can hear Armin’s exasperated sighs a lot better. “Levi might be into that, who knows?”

_“Just don’t hurt yourself, you dolt. Try to be civil and don’t sock anyone who pisses you off. Levi’s not the only one who’s going to be there, right? Remember that you’ll be mingling with your co-workers and quite possibly your boss.”_

Threading his belt through the loops, Eren grimaces. The thought of Smith being there puts a dampener on his confidence. He doesn’t have much to go on, but if Levi does have an inkling of interest towards the CEO, Eren’s thoroughly fucked. There is no possible way he can compete with _the_ Erwin Smith, the GQ motherfucker.

Eren loves parties, but not this kind. Back in college there hadn’t been a single one that went without crashing, and it’s a record he holds with pride. He still remembers that one time Kirchstein offered to shotgun, and after that, there was no going back for Eren. Boobs are great and there’s no doubt about that, but dicks? Eren had found a brand new appreciation for those.

A company party for one of New York’s most prestigious companies? The wildest it can get is by dropping an olive in a martini before it’s been stirred.

_“And talking about good impressions, you’re gonna be late.”_

“What else is new?” Eren mumbles, not bothering with an undershirt as he hastily slips on his button-down. He tucks it into his pants at the same time he throws a red tie over his head. It’s as festive as he’s getting. “Although, let me tell you, I haven’t been late a single day since I started.” There’s a beam of pride in his words.

_“Easy to see you’ve become acclimated with your job then, huh?”_

“Could be worse.” Adjusting the collar over the tie, Eren fixes the knot until it’s snug against his throat. He sniffs, holding back a sneeze. He forgot to Febreze it.

_“You could get the clap by sleeping with your co-worker.”_

Eren grins at this, finally sliding into his blazer and doing up the buttons with ease. Graduation was only a matter of months ago, so he really has no idea why it hugs him so much now. Not like he’s been eating more than he usually does. Maybe it has something to do with those two weeks he spent eating nothing but pizza for dinner. However, it isn’t uncomfortable and it isn’t tight; it just accentuates the broadness of his shoulders and the shape of his body.

Standing in front of the mirror, Eren decides that he doesn’t look half bad. His hair’s a mess, but some things just can’t be tamed. He does run a hand through it, fluffing it up and hoping it’ll settle naturally.

“The chances of contracting the clap from Levi are lower than me contracting it by sitting in a library; for real. I’m pretty sure the guy washes his hair obsessively and gives himself facials. The not-dirty kind.”

_“Just because he’s dapper doesn’t mean he’s not carrying a dirty little secret.”_

Eren hesitates over his nightstand for a brief moment before deciding that, yes, he’s definitely going all the way. And by all the way he means he’s wearing some of the cologne his sister got him a few years ago.

Removing the stopper, Eren dabs some of it on his wrists and behind his ears.

This time, he can’t prevent the sneeze.

“Yeah, the guy’s dapper as fuck, totally, but I mean… He’s clean? In the traditional sense. I’ve never even seen dirt under his nails. It’s kinda creepy.”

_“Says the guy who’s checking for dirt under other people’s nails.”_

“Nobody likes a wiseass, Armin.”

Armin chuckles. _“How long until you’re out the door?”_

“Almost done,” Eren says, fishing for a pair of new socks that are miraculously still tucked together. He puts them on, wiggles his toes, and slips into the only pair of dress shoes he has. Also from graduation.

Eventually he’ll have to go out shopping if he’s going to be staying at Sina, because he can only go so long recycling the same suits and shoes until somebody notices. Despite being one to not give a shit, Eren understands that appearance speaks louder than words. It’s a blessing he’s not that bad looking.

By the time Eren is ready to leave, his apartment is a complete dump. He figures that tomorrow is Saturday, and he’ll spend the day cleaning it, but the odds of him staying in pajamas and playing video games all day is quite higher possibility.

He looks himself over one more time as he wraps a scarf around his neck and puts on his coat. “I can totally rock the whole Wall Street look.”

_“Take pictures.”_

“Not a chance.”

The evening is still light enough for Eren to pick out stray bursts of orange here and there, but mostly everything is just gray and dull. It’s cold, but there is still no snow, and he’s desperately wishing for a white Christmas.

Armin entertains him throughout his walk, making Eren laugh when told about the mishaps and blunders at the lab. He also fills him in on Mikasa, and how she totally kicked everyone’s ass in archery club. _“Is there anything she can’t do?”_

“She’ll discover time travel if she sets her mind to it.”

A pang of longing settles in Eren’s gut, and he’s suddenly missing his friends fiercer than ever. He hates that he won’t be able to spend Christmas with them, but he promised to schedule a vacation for next year. It had been hard, when Mikasa made her decision to transfer into Stanford along with Armin, but Eren sucked it up. Some time away from each other isn’t going to destroy a lifelong friendship, adoptive sister or not.

 _“You should come to California,”_ Armin says, always so perceptive.

Turning onto the stairs leading to Sina’s glass doors, Eren huffs out a laugh. “Soon, okay?”

They exchange farewells and end the call.

The massive chandeliers of the lobby are on, and the place looks even more like a hotel in this kind of lighting. Eren feels ridiculously posh when he steps inside, and a doorman asks to take his coat once he’s shown him his company ID. That’s definitely new. He figures that, with no one manning the front desk, someone has to keep an eye on who comes in and out.

He’s told to take the elevator to the terrace, and for all the time Eren’s worked here, he never knew there was such a thing.

Seeing the place with his own eyes still doesn’t ascertain him that there is a terrace at the top of the building, because when the elevator doors open, Eren is sure he’s walked into a dream.

The first thought to knock on Eren’s brain is that Tony Stark has nothing on Erwin Smith. Which is a stupid thought considering Smith doesn’t own the company, but he’s still the head honcho. By all means, he’s the host, and therefore all praise must go to him because _hot damn_.

Eren’s first overwhelming urge is to play baseball in here, because there isn’t a single thing that is not made out of glass. Glass ceiling, glass walls, and if he didn’t know better, he would have pinned the statues on the tables to be made of glass too, rather than ice.

And the view, from the New York City skyline to the darkening sky above head is something to behold.

Gorgeous, classy, and rich, Eren begins to think he’s way out of his league. Blessedly, he’s pretty sure that was a horse head he just spotted out of the corner of his eye.

The party may be _for_ white collar executives _by_ white collar executives, but it looks like said white collar executives have been swapped for high-schoolers on the night after their last final. Hesitantly edging away from the elevator, Eren tries to put a name to the people he knows.

Mike Zacharius is wearing his tie on his head – or, not _his_ tie, since his tie is loose around his neck. Hanji Zoe, which Eren recognizes as Levi’s superior, has two vodka bottles pinned under her arms and a Santa hat on her head. That one guy who loved picking on Eren during his intern days, Erd Gin, is wearing Christmas lights around his torso.

In one corner, trying to be discreet behind a decorative tree and failing spectacularly is a couple who’s getting pretty hot and heavy.

This is madness.

Eren manages to find his way to the bar and finds that Smith has delivered the Fountain of Youth and permitted gratuitous consumption from it. A fountain of champagne stands at the middle of the table, and at its sides, stacked in the shape of pyramids, is a wide selection of liquors that would set any bar to shame.

From plain old beer to grade-A cognac, there’s enough to make his liver accuse him of attempted murder. Normally he’d be all for it, but Eren reminds himself that he isn’t among friends. Mikasa isn’t here to haul his ass back home, and Armin isn’t here to cover his shift. Plus, he can’t afford to put in a bad name for himself… Even with the absolute chaos around him.

“Eren, how nice of you to join us.” Eren turns to find Smith approaching the bar with two empty glasses in hand.

“I’d be an idiot to turn down such an exclusive invite,” Eren says, blinking stupidly when the guy with the horse head gallops on by. “Party hard.”

Erwin chuckles as he prepares two cocktails with the ease that speaks of experience. Eren’s partially impressed. “It’s always good to loosen up after a hard year, you know? These guys deserve it.”

“Pretty sure pot is illegal in the state of New York.” Eren’s not trying to be a wiseass, he’s just mildly concerned about the bong he just noticed being passed around. This place has crossed the line from madness to bat-shit crazy.

“What happens in this building stays in this building.” That’s a threat, even if it’s been said with a charming smile. “Is there anything I can interest you in?”

Eren grabs an average can of beer, because he can swear that was interest he just heard in Erwin’s words. If that’s an invitation, Eren is too sober for this. Sure, the guy looks like a GQ motherfucker on the average work day, but tonight he looks like the type of deity Greeks would write fertility myths about. 

Patient blue eyes turn to Eren while he stirs the drinks, his smile smooth enough to melt butter.

Well shit.

Eren opens his can and takes a very big gulp out of it. He wants to say that Erwin looks idiotic with a bow tie, but he doesn’t, and Eren’s starting to suspect that Erwin would look good in whatever he wears, even if what he wears is nothing at all.

Erwin chuckles. “Levi’s in the lounge,” he says with a knowing lilt in his words. He hands Eren the glass with a wink. “Do me a favor and take this to him?”

Grimacing at the reminder of his intern days, when he was forced to run around the building delivering everybody’s coffee, Eren takes the glass with a noncommittal sound.

“I’ll join you two in a bit.” And with that, Erwin disappears into the mixture of smoke and colorful Christmas lights.

If that is Erwin’s way of insinuating they should have a threesome, Eren’s going to need another beer or five. Maybe even twenty.

Fancy drink and beer in hand, Eren asks the least drunk-looking person where the lounge is, and he’s pointed in the direction of a cleverly hidden set of stairs. He climbs up, mumbling as he goes, because all of this temptation and he’s too much of an adult to take advantage of it. Eren misses the college days when he’d whisper _‘carpe diem’_ and do whatever he wanted to do. It’s not like he doesn’t do so every now and then, now he’s just more conscious as to where and when he dives right in. Consequences and all that jazz.

The stairs lead up to a much smaller room. Minimalistic in design, with trendy couches and a fireplace, it’s just as chic as the main terrace. The ceiling and walls are also made out of glass, but rather than hardwood, the floor here is layered with a plush white rug.

Eren doesn’t spot anyone at first, and after a moment he realizes that someone is sitting in the armchair in front of the fireplace. From this angle, he can only see Levi’s legs where they’re crossed and bent at the knee. He’s wearing white pants and white shoes.

Aware of the politely social way to do this, Eren raps his knuckles against the stair banister to announce his arrival.

“What?”

Charming as always.

Walking towards the seat, Eren stirs the contents in the glass. “Mr. Smith told me to bring you this.” Hovering over Levi, he hands him the glass, and Levi takes it without looking away from the fireplace.

“Drop the formalities. It sounds awkward coming from your mouth. I’m sure he doesn’t mind being called by his first name.” He studies his drink before sniffing it. “Sit.”

Eren collapses onto the armchair next to Levi, but not because he’s told to. If Erwin looks like a deity, Eren’s sure no words will ever be able to describe how good Levi looks. With Erwin, Eren admits that he may have a type, but Levi smashes every single standard and trait Eren’s ever found attractive.

Dressed in all white, his pale gray shirt matches the color of his eyes. A white silk tie is pressed properly against his collar, and Eren watches it bob whenever Levi takes a swig of his cocktail. His hair is slicked back, and only a few rebellious strands hang over his forehead.

The guy is short, rude, tactless, intimidating, bossy, but the sense of power he emanates is intoxicating, and he’s not referring to company power either. There’s authority in his stance, a confidence that would make the world fall to its knees. Levi wields control like a weapon.

Eren wonders if Levi is like this in every aspect of his life, including sex. Zeus probably took notes from this guy.

After a moment, Eren catches himself staring and looks away. His hopes of not having been caught dissipates because Levi is staring right back.

“Lightweight?”

Eren looks down at his beer and shakes his head. “I’d rather not be drunk for the next week or so. The amount of alcohol downstairs is kind of overkill, if you ask me.”

“Life of the party.”

“You’re one to talk,” Eren says before he can stop himself. “Sitting in the quiet room, sipping on Cristal.” He shouldn’t piss his superiors off, but he gains an odd thrill from teasing Levi.

“I’m carefully plotting tonight’s indiscretions in the absence of my co-workers.” He takes a drink, and the way he holds his glass is odd. “Plus, it would suck to develop cancer from second-hand smoking.” This last bit gets Levi to chuckle.

He has a terrible sense of humor.

However, that takes the backseat once Eren mulls over his words. There’s a pickup line in there somewhere, but Eren is as far away from smooth as a guy his age can get. “Indiscretions, huh? Anything I should be aware of?”

Levi doesn’t turn away from the fireplace, but his eyes shift to stare at Eren for a brief moment. His answer doesn’t come quick, and instead downs the last of his drink.

Eren stews in his own juices, sure that he’s already screwed up. But then, Levi hums and says, “Get me drunk enough and they might include you.”

Eren fights back a groan. “I don’t think you can consent to sex with a fountain’s worth of champagne in your system.” He never mentioned the said indiscretion to be sex… but Eren really hopes that’s what he means. If not, he’s just made a fool out of himself and he’s going to have to get himself another job.

There’s a moment of tense silence, or at least tense on Eren’s behalf, before Levi places his glass on the table and leans back with a minute smirk. Unfolding his leg, Levi knocks his knees apart, a hand over each one.

Eren tries hard not to stare, but the position is a lot more erotic than it should be.

“Liquor isn’t the only intoxicating substance in this room.”

Eren’s first thought is something along the lines of ‘damn straight’ because Levi is a goddamned force of nature, but then the meaning really sinks in.

This smooth mother _fucker_.

They hold each other’s gaze for an intense moment, Levi’s face carefully devoid of feelings, but there’s a hint of darkness in his eyes. A darkness that speaks of feral hunger and, yeah, Eren’s got enough material for the spank bank to last him a year or so.

The night slinks on with the two of them bickering in hushed tones, favoring the calmness of the lounge over the chaos in the lower level of the terrace. The flirting, Eren notices, is kept to a bare minimum when Erwin joins them with more drinks. At least, the flirting is kept under control on Levi’s behalf. 

Erwin is a completely different monster.

“It looks good on you,” he says, referring to Eren’s suit. For the record, Erwin doesn’t seem the slightest bit drunk.

“Sounds like this old pervert wants to take you home,” Levi says. “Watch your back, kid.” Eren knows it’s meant to be a joke, though it may not sound like it.

Erwin spends a moment staring at Levi with a cryptic smile, as if considering the possibility. “My office is closer.”

Make those five dozens of beer.

The remark gets a chuckle out of Levi. “And that is why Erwin’s the CEO.”

“Why’s that?” Eren’s question is completely innocent, because he honestly can’t make sense of what Erwin’s lead-on has to do with him being the CEO. Part of him immediately wishes he hadn’t asked.

“Decorum,” Erwin says, balancing his martini glass over a knee.

“Had it been me, I would’ve offered to take you right here.” The casual tone in which Levi says it makes Eren’s blood run cold. He can’t possibly be doing this in front of Erwin.

“It’s a win-win situation.” Erwin hums, giving Eren a sly smile. “I get to watch.”

“Like I said: perverted old man.”

Eren wonders if this counts as sexual harassment of some kind. He doesn’t feel threatened, maybe just a little uncomfortable, but that’s mostly because he wants to act on everything Levi is saying when he shouldn’t. Some messed up part of Eren would probably enjoy showing off for Mr. Handsome while he rides the hell out of Levi’s – and he needs to stop that train of thought right here. He’s turned on enough as it is; it wouldn’t do to pitch a tent in his pants.

“Enough of that,” Erwin says, sobering up some. “Any plans for the holidays?”

The change of subject is drastic, and Eren is grateful. “None, really. My family currently lives in California, so I’ll be home alone.”

“That’s a shame.”

Eren shrugs. “I’m sure something will come up. If not, I’ll stay in and order some Chinese.”

“Very classy,” Levi quips.

“You used to do the same,” Erwin throws at him with a sweet smile that promises destruction.

Levi fixes him with a glare. “I preferred Italian.”

“New York pizza hardly qualifies as Italian cuisine.”

“No, but it’s fucking fantastic.”

Eren grins at the unexpected exchange. It almost makes the two men seem more human.

The conversation keeps itself on light subjects as they discuss a little bit of everything. To Eren’s surprise, Erwin has a knack for collecting video games which he doesn’t play all that much unless it’s a first person shooter. On the other hand, Levi knits. He also knows archery and fencing, claiming that it’s a natural talent he was born with. Erwin attests to this, saying that the man has never taken a lesson in his life.

The casual mood allows Eren to let his guard down and enjoy himself. It’s not the kind of thing he expected out of an office party, but he figures it isn’t all that bad. True, he’s not getting utterly smashed like he’d like to, but conversation is nice too. He hasn’t had a long face-to-face talk with anyone since Armin left two years ago. Erwin is easy to get along with, and Levi may not be talkative, but he’s not as murderous as Eren thought him to be.

Another man eventually shows up, nodding towards Eren and Levi in greeting. He turns to Erwin with a frown, who answers with a widening grin. 

“I need to talk to you.”

“Is everything all right?” Erwin’s reply nearly sounds playful.

The man fidgets, casting Levi an uneasy look. “In private,” the man says.

Eren never expected for a movie cliché to be so rude when done in real life.

Erwin nods with all the grace and patience in the world. “Let’s go to my office.”

“You can stay here,” Levi cuts in, getting up with an apathetic sigh. He fixes his suit jacket before adjusting the cufflink that had become undone. “I need a cigarette.”

Eren is busy taking in the fact that Levi smokes when a pair of keys land on his lap. He looks down at them, puzzled.

“I don’t feel like driving,” Levi says, simply.

Getting the picture, Eren stands up. After offering Erwin and the newcomer a polite nod, he makes his exit on Levi’s heels.

But before shutting the door behind him, Levi turns to the two of them with a mock salute. “Go easy on him, Dawk. The man’s got places to be.”

Eren figures it’s none of his business, so he doesn’t ask. “There’s a corner store down the avenue,” he says instead, walking down the short flight of stairs. He doesn’t see the use of getting in a car when they can just walk. “Pretty sure they have every brand known to man.”

Despite his recommendation, Levi looks as if his mind is elsewhere. His eyes are narrowed in a way that dares for anyone to approach him as they cross the party floor, and nobody does.

Once in front of the elevator, he jams the button with more force than necessary.

Eren’s beginning to think that something is wrong. He wordlessly steps inside once the door opens, and the people who are waiting opt to take the next one. Wise choice.

Instead of choosing the ground floor, Levi pushes the button for the level under the terrace.

The 12th floor is a regular office floor, completely desolate for the exception of a Christmas tree mounted against the glass side of the building. There are cubicles spread out, the black wood contrasting with the white floor and walls. Towards the back, Eren remembers, is Levi’s enclosed office. Nothing has changed since the last time he’d been here.

The heels of Levi’s shoes echo as he crosses the floor, and Eren follows close behind, confused but not asking why they’re here. Maybe he has a cigarette pack in his office.

To his surprise, Levi rounds on him, taking two good fistfuls of Eren’s suit jacket and shoving him against the wall.

He may be strong despite his height, but strength is the last thing keeping Eren in place. There’s a ferocity in his eyes that leaves Eren weak at the knees, but mostly out of nervousness.

They stand there for a moment, neither of them saying or doing anything; the only thing interrupting the silence is the hum of the central heater.

Levi’s fists loosen only to clench again, reminding Eren of a cat pawing the bed sheets. He doesn’t give him shit for it, however, mostly because he likes the whole touching thing.

“Whatever happens tonight stays between us,” Levi warns, his voice pitched so low Eren swears he can feel their vibration in his dick.

Eren nods in understanding, but neither one moves.

“Forbidden office romance?” Eren tries to joke, but Levi doesn’t look amused. Not that he ever does.

A tiny smirk does form on his lips as he invades Eren’s personal space, pressing their bodies flush together in order to speak directly into his ear. “More like a forbidden office fuck.”

Hesitantly, Eren puts his hands on Levi’s back, bringing him closer. It’s more of an awkward hug rather than something sexual, but Eren is genuinely afraid of either dirtying or losing Levi’s clothes. Eren adds that to the list of kinks he wasn’t aware of having. He hopes Levi fucks him with his clothes on.

“I like the sound of that better,” Eren murmurs. 

No strings attached, exactly what Eren wants. His intention is to get Levi out of his system, and he’s glad they’re on the same page. One night, and they can even blame it on being drunk, despite being stone-cold sober.

Tired of waiting for Levi to do anything, Eren lets his hands slide lower, grabbing his ass and giving it a squeeze. He fondles his cheeks, playing with them as if they were breasts, and Levi rests his head on Eren’s shoulder, chuckling.

“Tell me what you want,” Eren says against Levi’s slicked hair. He’s truly at a loss of what to do, so he figures he can pretend he knows what he’s doing by asking as sexily as possible. He smacks Levi’s ass, just for good measure.

Levi looks spectacularly bored. “You better not be a virgin.”

“Do I look like a virgin to you?”

“Painfully.”

Eren narrows his eyes at Levi’s jab. Time to kick it up a notch.

He’s unsure of how he gathers the courage to do it, but he does. Eren pushes himself away from the wall and grabs hold of Levi’s arm, twisting it in a way that forces Levi to turn around. Standing behind him, it’s Eren’s turn to shove him against the wall, Levi’s arm pinned between his back and Eren’s chest. He deposits his entire weight onto him to keep him from moving.

Levi hisses, the angle of his arm clearly uncomfortable, and he has to rest his head on its side against the wall. He’s ready to snap at Eren, he can feel it, but before he can get the chance, Eren decides to shut him up in the best way possible.

Shame cast aside, Eren makes sure to press their lower bodies together. The night’s arousal turns into a full hard-on the moment the word ‘fuck’ falls from Levi’s mouth, so Eren does his best to let him know.

Eren grinds against Levi’s ass, one hand still holding his arm, and the other on Levi’s hip. 

“You feel that? How hard you make me?” Levi huffs, but it’s not annoyance or amusement. This catches Eren’s attention. “Hm? You want me to talk you through it?”

“I’ll staple your mouth shut,” Levi snaps, but not without rocking back onto Eren’s crotch.

Biting his bottom lip, Eren releases the arm and waits for Levi to shove him off. When he doesn’t, he takes the liberty of spreading both his hands over Levi’s hips and pulls him impossibly closer. Levi goes with it, body becoming pliant between Eren and the wall.

They stay like this, indulging in a slow grind as Eren breathes heavily into Levi’s ear. “Can I kiss you?” he dares ask, because Levi’s lips look far too tantalizing how they currently are: slightly open and glistening with saliva.

“Sorry, kid. I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Eren nods in understanding and doesn’t ask again. He figures it’s kind of silly once he thinks about. Wherever the night takes them, be it handjobs or blowjobs or whatever, Eren doubts any of it will be less intimate than a kiss.

Letting a hand dip lower, Eren cups the swell between Levi’s legs, making him let go of a deep sigh Eren is sure must have hurt his chest. Levi nearly purrs as Eren continues touching him, stroking down his sides and stomach, toying with his nipples through layers of clothing.

What should be a desperate mess of disrobing and fucking is just a slow and steady rhythm of touching and satisfied sighs. Eren figured it would have been wilder, with more slamming against desks and ruthless humping. It isn’t. The heated haze that settles between them is a tranquil one, much like the warm feeling Eren had felt earlier tonight while sitting in front of the fireplace. It’s comfortable.

Levi thrusts back into him, breathing unevenly when Eren focuses on rubbing his erection with an open palm. Levi likes being teased, Eren concludes, and fuck if that isn’t kinky.

Eren takes a shaky step back. “Bend frontward a little,” he tells Levi, who complies without protest.

Bent arms on the wall, Levi rests his forehead on them, arching his back and presenting his ass for Eren to do as he pleases. It’s an insanely mouthwatering sight, one Eren takes advantage of.

Hands on Levi’s hips, he pulls him back into position, pressing onto him. Levi eventually gets the gist of it and goes along without a word, biting back on the sounds Eren desperately wants to hear. Their movement leaves little to the imagination, and all Eren has to think about is how this would feel were they naked and balls deep inside Levi. Humping with every single item of clothing still in the way, who would have thought it would be so insanely hot?

Eren runs his hands up Levi’s back, still rubbing his crotch against his rear, until he grabs hold of white clothed shoulders and slams him back.

“Fuck yes,” Levi grunts out, a little too enthusiastically. Eren almost chuckles. “Do you have a condom by any chance?”

The question makes Eren’s pace falter, and it’s Levi’s turn to chuckle.

No, he doesn’t have a condom, but before he can answer, Levi’s ass begins to vibrate. He’s about to complain about the man holding out on him, but Levi bumps his head against the wall with an angry sigh.

Cockblocked.

Reluctantly, they pull away from each other, Levi fishing for his phone. 

“What?” is his venomous reply. Eren almost feels sorry for whoever’s on the other end. Almost. “Can’t this wait?”

Eren – although subconsciously – goes to squeeze himself through his pants, but Levi slaps his hand away. Closing in on him, Levi does him the favor. If it weren’t for the hand that slapped his own mouth, Eren would have been mortified by the moan the person Levi’s talking to would have heard. Unable to help himself, Eren grinds into the palm of Levi’s hand.

“Yes, I understand that. Isn’t Nile… Hm.” Levi shuts his eyes, and he looks more tired than Eren’s ever seen him. “I’ll be there in a moment.” Eren doesn’t like the sound of that, not when he’s rock hard.

Levi lets go of him to end his call and slip his phone back into his pocket.

“Erwin wants to see me,” he says, running a hand over his face. If Eren hadn’t been this annoyed, he would have been worried about the uncharacteristic gesture. “Wait for me in the lobby.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No. Get my coat. We’ll leave the moment I get back.”

Eren blinks at him. “Where we going?” He doubts they’re going to buy cigarettes.

Levi’s already turned away from him, fixing his clothing as he approaches the elevator. “I’m taking you home.”

❖

It takes Levi nearly thirty minutes to join Eren downstairs, and when he does, he doesn’t say a word. He looks disgruntled, however immaculate he still is. Eren hands him his coat before heading out into the cold night.

Eren knows better than to ask what’s wrong, so he simply follows Levi to his car.

Levi drives a black ’67 Camaro convertible.

“Holy shit,” Eren says, admiring the dream of a car. Small, sleek, dangerous and incredibly sexy – suddenly it’s difficult to imagine Levi driving anything else. It’s like someone took Levi’s personality and molded it into the form of a machine. It’s beautiful, but the gas mileage probably isn’t.

When Eren goes to hand over the keys, Levi tells him to drive. “I’ve had too much to drink.” A lie, but Eren isn’t going to give up the opportunity.

He gets behind the wheel just as Levi buckles up, and quickly starts the car to get the heater going. It’s freezing out, and lack of gloves make his fingers feel like they’re about to fall off. Eren holds them up to the vent, and next to him, Levi does the same.

“Is everything okay?” Eren eventually says once his fingers have thawed out. He looks to Levi, and finds him staring blankly out the windshield. “Captain, this is ground control, do you read me?”

Levi gives Eren a nasty look, but doesn’t reply. Rubbing his hands together, he puts them back in front of the vent.

Eren takes the moment to admire Levi’s hands. His fingers are long and thin, almost elegant, as if he were a pianist rather than an executive. They’re pretty, Eren thinks, and he can only imagine how they would feel wrapped around the thickness of his cock, or inside his mouth, or—Eren’s train of thought comes to a complete stop.

“Your place is nearby, right?” Levi says, still staring absently. He flexes his fingers and turns to look at Eren when he doesn’t get a reply. “Hey, dimwit.”

“You’re engaged.”

The words tumble out before Eren can stop them, but what else can he say? The silver band rests unobtrusively on Levi’s finger, and he wonders how he could have missed it.

Levi clutches his fist and places it over his leg, hiding the offending ring. He doesn’t say anything, and Eren feels like punching something. He feels like punching something _hard_ , enough to make anything bleed.

Opening the door, Eren puts a foot outside with a well accented “Screw this shit.”

“Sit the fuck down and close the goddamned door, Eren,” Levi all but barks, his tone as icy as the night air.

Eren has half a mind to storm out and never look back, but the usage of his name makes him hesitate. He turns to Levi with a glare he hopes strikes fear in his heart. It doesn’t. If anything, it makes Levi’s stare turn deadlier.

“ _Now._ ” And that single word carries so much finality, Eren can’t help but obey like a chastised schoolboy.

Straightening himself out, Eren slams the door hard enough to shake the car.

No one says a word.

Eren’s watch beeps, alerting him that it’s now midnight.

A light flurry begins to fall.

“I’m not sleeping with someone who’s in a relationship,” Eren says once his anger has dimmed to a simmering heat. “I don’t need this bullshit.”

Levi undoes the buttons of his coat and cracks his knuckles. “Buy me a drink and we won’t have to.”

“There’s vodka at my place.”

“Good enough for me.”

It’s another few minutes before Eren trusts himself to be controlled enough to drive. He eases into the main road, but he’s too angry to properly appreciate being behind the wheel of a classic. By his side, Levi is staring out the window, face schooled into its usual stoic appearance.

Five minutes later, Eren pulls into the lot beside his apartment building. In the same stiff silence, Levi follows Eren into his apartment.

“A motel room would have been cleaner,” Levi says, looking disgusted by his surroundings.

Eren jerks off his coat with an aggravated grunt, and pointedly drops it on the couch before heading into the kitchen. He doesn’t wait for Levi.

He pulls out a bottle of vodka from the fridge and slams it onto the counter, and then goes to pull out two plastic cups. He serves their drinks messily, sloshing liquor onto the counter and not caring at all.

He shouldn’t be this mad. He shouldn’t feel this lied to, especially since Levi never lied. The possibility of there being someone else in their lives never came up for discussion. Of course, Eren always thought that Erwin may have been a potential suitor for Levi, but that had only been Eren projecting his insecurities.

Eren stops before he can grab his drink.

“It’s Erwin, isn’t it?” he says when Levi finally enters the kitchen. He has removed his coat and suit jacket, and the tie’s knot is now loose.

“Does it surprise you?” He takes his cup and downs it in a single go before putting it back on the counter.

“That you’re engaged, yes. To him, no.”

“Well, there you have it.” Levi leans back against the counter, his elbows holding him up. “I’m engaged to Erwin Fucking Smith. Yippy for me.”

Eren pours the entire cup down his throat, wincing at the burn, and refills. “So… what? Was this like… a haze? ‘Let’s tease the guy and see who he fucks first, yeah?!’”

“You talk too much.”

“I talk— I’m fucking pissed the fuck off, I can talk however the fuck much I want.”

“Nobody’s hazing you,” Levi says, his tone eerily neutral. “I pursued this out of my own volition, so stop being such a baby about it.”

“Then you have a thing for fucking new guys.” He’s pushing his luck, but he doesn’t care. Drinking his second cup, he finds that it’s far more satisfying to crush the plastic rather than refill it.

Levi turns around to face Eren with a glare. “No.”

“Then what?!”

Levi pretends to think of an answer. “Two years ago you walked into my office in a cheesy ass cardigan and a tacky bow tie, carrying coffee.”

When he says nothing else, Eren busies himself with taking off his blazer. It’s starting to get stuffy after the too-quick consumption of the hard stuff. “So?”

“When you walked out of my office, I saw the cutest ass I had ever laid eyes on.”

Eren stops mid-way, an elbow awkwardly stuck in a sleeve. He stares at Levi, and the blank expression makes him feel torn between blushing and punching the guy’s face in. He does neither. Or so he hopes.

“For five months I had to deal with you prancing about like some shitty gazelle, even when exams had you coming in with bags under your eyes darker than my own.”

For five months, Eren thought he was being nothing but a nuisance to this man.

“Then, a few months ago, you waltzed right back into my miserable life and fucked shit up.” Levi takes the liberty to pour himself another cup. “One night is all I’m aiming for. Just to get it out of my system.”

Finally able to wrestle off his blazer, Eren drops it on the counter. Mutual attraction from the start. Who would have thought it?

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you’re engaged to my boss.”

“The same boss that wants to fuck you senseless?”

The words knock the wind right out of him, and Eren is sure his eyes are about to pop out of their sockets. “ _What?_ ”

Levi looks like he can’t believe how stupid Eren is. “Beneath the charisma and professional smiles is a savage hedonist who takes what he wants. Wouldn’t be the first time he’s rendered undone by fresh meat.”

Eren can’t believe what he’s hearing. This shouldn’t surprise him. He’s seen countless shows that deal with this kind of situation, but he figured it was just a Hollywood thing.

The way Levi talks about it, casual and detached, troubles him. “Are you guys swingers?”

The question makes Levi do a double-take, and if the situation were any different, Eren would have laughed. “I think you mean polygamists,” he says with a frown. “No, but I think he somehow thinks we are. If your definition of polygamy consists of fucking other people behind your partner’s back, that is.”

Taking off his tie, Eren pulls up a stool and sits down. Something tells him it’s going to be one hell of a long night. “Okay. Alright. Tell me how you got to this point. From the start.”

“There isn’t enough alcohol in this city,” Levi quips, but his eyes are somehow softer around their edges. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, and Eren doesn’t press. “I’ve known Erwin for fifteen years, and Hanji for a while longer. Both of them had to beat the shit out of me to get me talking, yet here we are. All some shitty brat has to do is flash some weird-ass colored eyes at me and I feel like puking my life story.”

Despite his better judgment, Eren offers Levi a tiny smile. “My mom used to call me a manipulative little bastard because of that.”

Levi hums in appreciation.

“You can always blame it on the vodka,” Eren says. He’s still pissed, but it’s a strange kind of anger. It’s mellow.

“To make a long-as-fuck story short, he and I messed around for a while until we officially hooked up five years ago. Shit hit the fan because I was a lousy lay so he started fucking around with the asshole that interrupted us tonight,” Levi says, only stopping to make sure Eren’s caught up. He is, remembering the brunette in the lounge. “A few months after you finished your internship, he threw a ring box at me. Regardless of how shitty a relationship we had going on, I have enough daddy issues for me to take what I can get. Now, pour me another fucking drink.”

Eren does so. “Have you ever talked about it?”

Levi clicks his tongue. “Never touched the subject. I’m sure he’s aware that I know, though. You can only show up so many times with bruises on your hips and blame it on bumping into desks. Same goes for the perfume, lipstick, lace panties in the back of his car. Rich, considering he’s as straight as boiled spaghetti, but who am I to judge.”

And that’s more than Eren ever needs to know about Erwin Smith.

“I really can’t see either of them in drag,” Eren says, in hopes of lightening up the mood. It doesn’t work. Eren is terrible when it comes to this sort of thing, but if Levi truly is that difficult to break open, and he’s willingly doing so for Eren, then he’s not going to mess it up. He may not be able to give any good advice, but he can force himself to listen.

“I can pull it off better than Erwin.” At Eren's deadpan expression, Levi continues, “You should see me in pumps.”

“He’s kind of a dick,” Eren says, desperately dragging the conversation into safer territory. He doesn’t need the image of Levi in lingerie and red heels running around his brain. “Why would anyone… because of a lousy lay? That’s the shittiest thing ever. Like, okay, the least thing you can do is try and make the sex better, I guess.”

Drumming his fingertips against the countertop, Levi considers Eren. “It isn’t something he can fix, and no, I’m not impotent,” he amends with a sharp glare. “There’s too much history; too much shit. It’s like fucking your grief counselor.”

Eren tries hard not to snort, but he fails. He can see Levi’s point. “Then, what? Am I supposed to be a revenge lay or something?”

“I’m above that shit, scumbag.”

“Okay, _not_ a revenge lay,” Eren says, leaning away from the counter before he can get hit.

Levi pinches the bridge of his nose and rubs at his eyes. “Note that I’m not blaming him for any of this bullshit. The son of a bitch tried. I’m just too much of a punk to get my shit together and own up. Guy did what he had to do. We reached this unspoken agreement where we could do whatever the fuck we wanted while holding an official relationship status.”

“An open relationship then,” Eren mutters, briefly thinking about Facebook status settings.

“In a way. Erwin’s messing around, I’ve stayed put since day one. Social interaction isn’t my strong point.” That’s the cold hard truth right there. “Never met anyone worth courting.” The drink goes untouched, and all Levi does is run his fingertip over the cup’s rim. “Then this little fucktard in a nice suit waltzes into Sina, with hero-worship written all over his face, and suddenly I want to hit that six ways from Sunday.”

Eren ducks his head with a shy smile. “That’s messed up.”

“Tell me about it.” Levi finally takes a swig of his vodka.

“You really think I have a cute ass?”

It’s Levi’s turn to deadpan over the edge of his cup. “Yes, Jaeger, your ass is as cute as a fucking button.”

Eren snorts, his stomach feeling pleasantly warm. But that’s probably due to the alcohol. “What do you plan on doing with this whole mess?”

“Same thing I’ve been doing these past five years,” he says without skipping a beat. “Nothing.”

The anger inside of Eren thrashes, because he has no one to throw it at. Sure, Erwin’s a total asshole, but Levi isn’t blaming him for the complicated situation. In truth, the both of them are to blame, but if there’s anything Eren has picked up over the months is that both Levi and Erwin are two brutally proud individuals, both unwilling to face the problem, and therefore unwilling to compromise.

Anger ebbs away into melancholy.

A few hours ago, Eren had been gearing up for a hookup of the decade. The last thing he expected was to be in this position, trying to mend the broken pieces of two men far older and powerful than he. Mikasa would be proud.

“You look constipated.” Eren is really starting to doubt that Levi is, indeed, older than him. “Now it looks like it’s been three weeks since you last took a shit.”

“I’m thinking. Don’t cheapen the moment.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“You two really have to talk this out,” Eren says, electing to ignore the jab. “You’re adults and you’re acting like a couple of grade-schoolers. If you love him, you gotta make him listen. And if he loves you, he’s got to hear you out.” It’s the best he can come up with, and it sounds like advice being given by a thirteen-year-old.

Levi rests his head on a hand. “That was terrible.”

“I know.”

Running a hand through his hair, the meticulous style gives way to the usual casual flop that is Levi’s hair. It’s impressive just how straight the partition is. “Didn’t you want to get in my pants? Now you’re trying to play Dr. Phil for Erwin and me.”

Eren shrugs, mildly amused how their thoughts are on a similar wavelength. “One good night versus a good rest-of-your-life. That’s kind of a no-brainer.”

“What’s in it for you?” Levi says, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Straightening up in his seat, Eren ponders it for a moment. “Nothing I can think of, actually.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

It’s the first time Eren has ever heard a hint of uncertainty in Levi’s words, and he can see it reflected in his eyes. He doesn’t believe him. Not that Eren blames him, since he currently can’t believe himself.

“For some reason… yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Doubt bleeds away into something unreadable.

“Sleep with me.”

“Levi—”

“I’ll do it. I’ll fix whatever the fuck you want me to fix, but it won’t be worth shit if I have to look him in the eye while my mind’s on you.” The intensity of his words cut a hole through Eren’s chest for reasons he can’t exactly name.

This is a bad idea. Eren needs to send him home, or call Erwin to pick him up if he can’t drive. He’s perfectly aware that his night started with the same intention in mind: one night to get Levi out of his system, but this conversation has flipped things on their axis, and Eren is unsure what to do about any of it.

The thought of Erwin even touching Levi sends hateful fire licking at his stomach, but the despondent way Levi talked about the situation makes Eren’s heart ache, and not because Erwin’s the object of Levi’s affections.

It’s all a complicated mess in his head, one that isn’t aided by the alcohol in his system.

This is lust.

This is just lust, and all Eren needs to do is fuck it out and carry on with his life, find himself someone who isn’t engaged and be happy with them. He is an adult and he will make adult decisions even if it kills him.

“All right.”

Starting tomorrow.

Eren isn’t sure what he hoped to see on Levi’s face, but more of the same blankness hadn’t been it. No relief, nothing. All Levi does is nod his head, barely noticeably, before straightening up from his slouch. “Let’s get this over with.”

He tries not to frown, or feel dejected, but it’s all for naught. The ‘for sex only’ excuse is quickly crumbling, along with his confidence. He’s frustrated and angry and kind of tipsy, not at all turned on as he had been earlier.

“Doesn’t this bother you?” Eren says, leading the way to his bedroom and hitting the light switch. He cringes at the utter dumpsite he left behind, and instantly regrets not having tidied up at least a bit.

Behind him, Levi makes a disgusted sound that resembles more a whine than a snort.

Without giving him a look, Eren begins kicking everything out of the way. Clothing is dropped onto a chair and over his desk, shoes go under the bed, along with everything else in the immediate vicinity. Eren runs a hasty hand over his bed, knocking everything off onto the floor.

He’s sure his face is about to combust some time soon.

“No,” Levi answers after a moment. “Whether this happens or not, Nile’s currently bent over Erwin’s desk. We might as well.”

Eren cringes. “Doesn’t _that_ bother you?” It’s meant to be a rhetorical question, but a hand to his arm stops him from shoveling clothes out of the way.

Turning to Levi, Eren sags in defeat. This entire night is going to be one awkward shitfest, and he knows it.

The thought flees when Levi steps closer, an arm draping over Eren’s shoulder while the other hand comes up to comb through the mop of his hair. His fingertips massage his scalp, and Eren wants nothing more than to melt into the touch.

He’s brought down just as Levi tilts his head upward, dabbing their mouths together in a soft kiss.

“No,” Levi says, his breath tickling Eren’s lips. “Because tonight you’re going to be under me, screaming for me, and everyone else can kiss my ass.”

Maybe it’s inappropriate, but Eren grins, unable to help himself.

Their mouths are pushed together, and by whom, Eren can’t really tell, and he doesn’t really care. Levi’s lips are smooth and thin, warm where they brush over Eren’s, as if testing the waters. Eren lets him go at his own pace, softly pressing kiss after kiss, lips smacking quietly between them every time he pulls away.

Levi shifts his head to better slant their mouths together, his hand tightening in Eren’s hair and using it to pull their heads closer, allowing more pressure.

Although it’s strictly lips for now, the kiss is playful, a fact that makes Eren hum with delight. He rests his hands on Levi’s hips, gently kneading them through the fabric of his designer suit.

It isn’t long before Levi’s tongue tickles the seam of Eren’s lips, and he opens up.

He tastes of vodka and mint, subtle but obviously present. He doesn’t taste of cigarettes at all, as Eren had been expecting. His mouth is hot, and Eren feels like smacking himself because of course it’s hot, mouths are usually hot in general, it’s a human thing. Levi is human, his mouth is hot, and his tongue is now inside Eren’s mouth, slowly tracing every spot that is now hyper-aware of the intruder—

“If you’re just going to stand there, I might as well make out with a lollipop,” Levi says, loud enough to startle Eren out of his stupor.

Eren blinks down at him, wondering when they stopped kissing long enough for him to talk. His face feels warm in embarrassment when he realizes that he became far too enthralled in the fantasy when it is, in fact, a reality.

Clearing his throat, Eren takes Levi’s face between his hands. He almost squishes his cheeks, but he does value his life. Smiling down at him, Eren leans forward to suck Levi’s bottom lip into his mouth and gently nibble on it, tugging until Levi’s eyes nearly flutter shut.

Eren only lets go because his mouth is watering, and turns his teeth on himself, biting his own lip with a smile he hopes conveys exactly what filthy and debauched things he wants to do to Levi.

It works.

Unsure of how it happens, and clearly not complaining, Eren finds himself on his back, one overly eager Levi straddling him, kissing and nipping at his neck with enough force for him to wince. He can only just imagine the bruises he’ll sport come morning, and the thought takes Eren from half-mast to fully hard.

Hands on Levi’s ass, he brings their hips together in a slow grind, head tipped back to grant Levi all the access he wants.

Their mouths slot together again, and neither of them wastes any time on coy swipes of the tongue. For all the cleanliness Levi exudes, the kiss is fucking filthy. With more tongue than lips, Levi flicks at Eren’s mouth, like some animal lapping up water. He pushes harder against Eren, pushing his tongue deeper, desperately reaching for everything he can lick. Levi retreats into his own mouth, luring Eren to join him, and when he does, the son of bitch sucks on his tongue as if it were a popsicle.

Eren moans, a pathetic sound that catches in his throat when Levi pulls away with a smug smirk. “How’s that?” he says, voice raspy and out of breath. Eren almost comes on the spot.

He should answer, but Levi’s hands map out the curves and niches of Eren’s upper body, bunching up his shirt and popping off buttons as he goes. He drags a nail from chin to throat and Eren all but quivers at the muted burn.

Sitting up on Eren’s stomach, Levi finally removes his white silk tie. “Hands above your head,” he orders, and Eren complies. “Tonight we’ll be playing by my rules.” Eren’s cock jerks in his pants. He’s not going to survive the night if this man keeps it up. So to speak. “You’re not allowed to touch yourself, do you understand? No speaking, unless it’s to beg, say my name, or when ordered to.”

The silk of Levi’s tie feels cool against the heated skin of Eren’s wrists as they’re bound together tightly. Eren tests their give, finding that there isn’t much. Levi looks satisfied.

“Condoms and lube?” Levi says after a moment, glancing around the messy room.

“Night table, second drawer.”

Levi crawls across the bed and rummages through the sock drawer until he finds them. He retakes his place over Eren’s stomach and sits down, not bothering to mind his weight. They’re still more or less dressed, more rather than less, and Eren wonders if they’re doing it like this. He can totally get onboard with that.

Leaving the packet and bottle on the sidelines for now, Levi rakes his eyes across Eren’s body. He finally gets on removing those last buttons when he asks, “How vanilla are you?”

The question throws Eren off, so he glares at Levi before he can think better of it. “Vanilla enough to sleep with my boss’ fiancé.” Eren is sure he’s just signed his death certificate when Levi levels him with a poisonous glare.

Just like that, Levi gets off him.

“H-Hey!”

“Don’t fucking move, Jaeger, or I swear to fuck I’ll bite your dick off.”

Were he untied, Eren would punch him. Instead, he stays put, grumbling into the emptiness of his room. He can hear him rummaging through his kitchen, muttering something unintelligible.

Levi returns with Eren’s discarded tie thrown over his shoulder.

Wordlessly, he climbs onto the bed but doesn’t straddle Eren, choosing to kneel between his feet instead. Removing Eren’s shoes and socks, Levi walks his fingers up his legs, tickling the inside of Eren’s thighs.

Eren sighs when Levi palms him with enough pressure to be felt, but nowhere near enough to cause relief. Elegant fingers unbuckle Eren’s belt and pop his button with deft ease, then hook around the band to tug both pants and underwear down enough for him to bob free of his confines.

Normally, this is the part where Eren covers his face in embarrassment, but the tie – and Levi’s sharp glare – keeps him put. A million times has he heard the whole ‘if you’re embarrassed by nudity then you shouldn’t be having sex at all’ discussion, but Eren can’t help it. Most of the sex he’s had transpired under the cover of darkness.

There’s an 80 watt light bulb currently lighting up his bedroom. Levi’s pale skin, layered in white clothing, makes him look like a ghost.

The embarrassment fades soon enough, because Levi is pressing a goddamned fucking kiss to Eren’s cockhead, drinking up the beads of pre-come that have formed on the tip.

Body throbbing with excitement, Eren cants his lips in a silent plea for more. What he gets, however, is his hips pinned to the mattress before cool fabric caresses his dick. Levi’s mouth eventually returns, sucking powerfully on Eren’s tip before taking more of the length in. Meanwhile, a hand fondles Eren’s balls.

It feels insanely amazing, but a wrong kind of pressure makes Eren yelp. He looks down to find Levi staring up at him with a devilish smirk that makes his blood run cold. His mouth opens when he sees it, but words fail him.

“Your punishment for being a wiseass,” Levi says against Eren’s dick. His dick, which has his tie tied around its base and balls in a snug knot, like some makeshift cockring. “You don’t get to come until I say so.”

Indignant, Eren is ready to lash out when he eventually catches his breath, but Levi is on him again, deep-throating him like a goddamned pro and all Eren can do is throw his head back with a strangled cry. Expert lips stretch around his girth, mindful of teeth as they slide up and down the engorged shaft. Levi sinks in again, and Eren can’t keep himself in check. He thrusts up, and the sound of Levi gagging makes him tense up, scared that he’s hurt him.

Levi pulls away with a small series of coughs, but he doesn’t look pissed. He looks annoyed, as if he’s lost a challenge. “If you’re gonna fuck my face you can at least let me know.” He gets back to it, as if nothing happened at all.

Eren tries to keep still, but his strength of will is minimal. Levi’s being noisy and sloppy, slurping so obscenely it’s almost disgusting if it weren’t so mind-blowingly hot. Rather than bucking into Levi’s mouth, Eren opts to squirm, but it’s fruitless, especially with his pants still around his knees.

“I’m not a fucking amateur,” Levi snaps, a bit of drool forming on the corner of his mouth. “I can take it.” This time, he does sound pissed. He angles himself better and leans forward with his hands on the mattress, open mouth hovering over Eren’s curved cock. “You want me to fuck you, you’re going to have to fuck my throat raw, you understand?”

Eren’s body trembles in anticipation. He doesn’t want Levi to stop talking, but he also doesn’t want to miss out on such a golden opportunity.

Levi holds perfectly still as Eren clumsily begins thrusting into his mouth. He tries not to be harsh, arching without much force into the hot mouth above him, but Levi’s having none of it. A hand slips under Eren’s ass and tugs him up, taking Eren’s cock so deep into his mouth he feels it hit the back of Levi’s throat.

All sense of self-control snaps, and Eren does as he’s requested.

He fucks Levi’s face without mercy, and he watches the man dig his nails into the bed sheets as he chokes and gags around him. Breathing labored, Levi pulls up without warning, choking and coughing as Eren’s hips twitch with the need for more. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.

His lips are swollen, glistening, and there are unshed tears beading in the corners of his eyes from gagging.

Eren feels robbed.

He should be coming right this instant, the pink color on Levi’s cheeks and the heady look in his eyes enough to render Eren boneless – but no dice.

Eren whimpers.

“I’m not done with you,” Levi rasps. He hums, clearing his throat. “Did quite a number on me, though…” The corners of Levi’s mouth tip upward into a seductive smile Eren desperately commits to memory. He’s never seen the man smile.

Climbing off the bed, Levi quickly removes Eren’s pants, allowing him a better range of movement. Eren should thank him, but he’s too aggravated to do so, at least, until Levi begins to undress.

There’s nothing fancy about it, no show or game of seduction. The simplicity of the way Levi undoes his buttons, looking down at his fingers as they fumble, is too adorable for Eren to stay mad. Also, he hadn’t been expecting the masterpiece that lay beneath the designer clothing.

Levi joins him again, laying over Eren’s body to catch his mouth in a deep kiss. Moving to nibble on Eren’s ear, he mutters, “Good boy,” which Eren answers with a moan.

He shouldn’t be getting off on this, but he is. Between the commands and the praise, Eren feels like Levi is delivering every single one in the form of an intimate touch. Yes, he’s always been vanilla, but he can totally get behind this.

They kiss, and kiss, and kiss some more. They make out until Eren notices that his erection has waned, urging him to sigh with frustrated relief. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but he’s annoyed at being robbed of his orgasm. Levi seems to catch on, because he chuckles against Eren’s mouth, sucking on his tongue.

“Have you ever done anal?” Eren makes a noise he hopes comes across as an affirmative. Levi lifts an eyebrow. “Oh? Are you mad at me for not letting you come?” His voice is like warm honey, and it makes Eren shiver. “ _Eren._ ” The way Levi drags out his name is a sin, one that leaves Eren gasping.

A hand is tracing idle circles along Eren’s chest, pushing the sides of the shirt away, while the other grips the wrists tied in white silk. His thumb caresses them tenderly, and it’s a stark contrast to Levi’s ruthless personality. Eren isn’t sure which side of Levi is the mask, if there even is one. He’s still a sarcastic and snarky little douchebag who barks orders and expects for Eren to obey, but Levi is being gentle despite that. His kisses are sweet and his hands are soft.

Levi hums a laugh. “Brat.” He gives Eren’s lip one more bite before heading south again.

Deftly, Levi unzips his pants. He doesn’t bother taking them off.

His cock is fairly average, and Eren feels grateful for the change of pace. He’s had enough adventurous shit during sex for one night.

Levi squirts lube into his palm and rubs his hands together, before turning to stroke himself. Undressing had not been turned into a show, but this has. Levi teases himself, gently squeezing his cockhead before wrapping a loose fist around his cock, dragging it down to clench at the base. He shakes himself, and makes sure to playfully tap his cock against Eren’s own.

“L-Levi!” The name is meant to be a threat, but Eren’s voice betrays him by turning it into a soft whine.

“Yes, Eren?” Levi’s own voice is cool and collected. Apparently the few minutes of downtime had been for him to gather his wits, it would seem.

Eren doesn’t say anything, watching as Levi opens the condom’s foil. He doesn’t use his teeth, or some other juvenile method, but just like undressing, Levi manages to make boring things look sexy without even trying. Dabbing a bit of lube into it, he rolls it on.

Rather than getting himself into position, Levi remains over Eren, watching him intently. There’s a question swimming his eyes, but he doesn’t voice it. He sits still, slowly pumping himself until he’s fully erect. When he is, he touches their dicks together once more.

“You’re okay with us doing this?” Levi eventually asks, his free hand stroking Eren’s hip.

“Don’t you think you’re a little late for that?”

“Are you, or not?”

Eren rolls his eyes. “You’re wrapped, I think we’re good. I feel like I’m going to fucking die if I don’t blow a load, but sure, go ahead.”

Levi slaps Eren’s thigh. “I can always leave you to finish yourself off.”

“I swear I will.”

Levi clicks his tongue. “Impatient little shit.”

Levi manhandles Eren so he’s lying further up the bed, head properly on the pillows. He uses the leftover fabric of the tie to secure his wrists to the headboard, which causes Eren to pout. Levi shimmies himself to the end of the bed, lying face down between Eren’s legs. He drops a kiss on his cock before making himself comfortable.

Without being told to, Eren spreads his legs, causing Levi to kiss the inside of his thighs in approval.

Eren is expecting Levi’s mouth to continue on its previous endeavor, but instead he hears the bottle of lube being uncapped again. The contact of cool gel on hot skin gets a surprised hiss out of Eren.

Levi’s fingers spread it across every inch of skin he can reach before pouring more onto his fingers. Eren is about to tell him to ease up on it, considering that KY is pretty damn expensive in this city, but a curious finger teases his circle of puckered muscle.

The moment he tenses, Levi delivers a soft bite to the juncture of thigh and hip. “Easy there, soldier.”

He isn’t an idiot, he knows how this works, and he knows he has to relax in order for this to be as painless an experience as possible. But those first few minutes are always the hardest to deal with. Thankfully, Levi’s nails are properly trimmed for the job.

Eren’s sure that the entire bottle is empty by the time Levi pushes in the first finger, and the slide is easy, comfortable. That first wiggle never fails to make him giggle, even through the odd feeling. Levi doesn’t comment.

Neither of them talks throughout the time it takes for Levi to get Eren loose enough to take him. He’s four fingers in when Eren finally shimmies his hips. To his dismay, Levi only shakes his head. “Pretty sure I’m ready to go, Levi.”

“Perhaps,” he says, but doesn’t stop. He continues to slowly scissor his fingers, crooking them and massaging the already loose muscles of Eren’s asshole. All the while, he sucks hickies along his thighs, hips, and the fleshier part of Eren’s stomach.

The strange feeling gives out to muted pleasure, making Eren relax against the bed as Levi massages. This isn’t so bad. Compared to that one time Jean went in, guns blazing and minimum lube, this feels like paradise served on a silver platter.

A spark from somewhere deep inside makes Eren’s entire body sing. “Fuh- _Fuck!_ ”

Levi hums a laugh. “Found you.” Profanity after profanity falls from Eren’s lips while Levi continues to press and rub at his prostate. “A little louder,” he says. “I don’t think Erwin can hear you in his office.”

Eren wants to say that the heat of the moment made him do it because before he can even think about it, his leg is flying towards the side of Levi’s head. He should have known better. Levi blocks the hit with surprising ease, slick hand tightening around Eren’s ankle with enough strength to bruise. Of course this was a bad idea.

The world flips over in a flurry of movement, and by the time Eren can register what’s going on, he’s lying on his stomach with his face shoved into bed, bound arms twisting in an awkward angle. Levi is above him, his chest molded to Eren’s back with a hand roughly tugging at Eren’s hair. The momentary pain makes tears bead in the corner of Eren’s eyes.

“What the fuck was that about, Jaeger?” he hisses sharply into Eren’s ear. “You want to play dirty?” Levi’s hold on his hair tightens, making Eren clench his teeth. “Then let’s kick it up a notch, shall we?”

“Say his name again,” Eren spits out. “I dare you.”

Things have taken a turn, but Eren isn’t sure if it’s for the worse. If possible, the sudden roughness has made Eren impossibly hornier, and Levi’s laugh, despite incredulous, sounds excited.

“You’ve been holding out on me, kid…” Eren grunts when Levi works him into a better position: on his knees, ass in the air, face on the pillow. “Had I known you were going to get violent, I wouldn’t have tied you up.”

It’s Eren’s turn to click his tongue. “S’why I thought you did it… Afraid I was going… to overpower you.” A slap to his ass makes Eren moan.

“You little asswipe,” Levi mumbles, brushing his lips to the area he’s just hit. “You talk big for a brat.”

Without much preamble, Eren can feel the tip of Levi’s cock nudging at his opening, and he braces himself.

Much bigger than his fingers, the sensation of being filled to the brim triggers a long and high whine to pitch itself from Eren’s mouth. It’s probably his favorite part of sex in general, those long moments in which he has to wait for his body to become accustomed to the intrusion. Pleasurable doesn’t really describe it, but the feeling of completeness is better than anything else Eren can experience.

For all of his attitude, Levi is gentle, waiting patiently for Eren to relax enough in order for him to move. He pushes in until he bottoms out, and then stays there, with his hands tracing along the knobs of Eren’s spine.

Their shared panting fills the room, and once Eren steels his nerves enough to take it, he nods his head. “Move.”

Levi moves.

“Mmm, that feels good,” Eren hears himself mumble, tugging at his binds.

Pulling all the way out, Levi teases his hole before pushing in again, delivering shallow thrusts that makes Eren’s mouth water. Sinking to the hilt, Levi stays there and just moves, gyrating his hips to get deeper.

They experiment for as long as they both feel comfortable; Levi’s every touch a silent question Eren answers with either a gasp or a nod. He eventually finds a pace that has Eren chanting his name like a mantra, crying out in choked gasps and high whines.

He hates the fact that he can’t see Levi, especially when he longs to see the face he’s making. There’s no possible way the man is still holding on to his stoic expression. There must be something. A blush, eyes shut and eyebrows pushed together in a look of pure rapture.

“Levi?” He wants to see. Levi’s pace falters. “Let me see you…”

Levi growls, drives himself faster. The slap of skin against skin is obscene, along with the squelch of lube.

“Levi, please.”

The plea rips a moan out of Levi’s throat, and fuck if it isn’t the most beautiful thing Eren has ever heard. It sounds nothing like the deep and even tone of his natural voice. The moan is high, frantic, breathy, and – “Say it again,” he orders. “Call for me, big boy.”

Eren’s mouth goes slack, the words licking at his gut like a flame. “L-Levi, oh god _yes!_ Come on. Come on! Give it to me harder, faster— _fuck, Levi!_ ”

Another gasp is ripped out of him, but this time he’s being flipped onto his back and – _oh_ , what a glorious sight.

The image of a sweat-slicked Levi, hair matted and eyes nearly shut, and mouth hanging open to regulate his breathing, will forever be burned into Eren’s retinas. There’s a lovely pink flush across his cheeks, and Eren can see that it has made its way down his neck the moment he throws his head back, thrusting into Eren in earnest.

Every sound he makes is intoxicating and erotic, as is the image of this usually perfectly contained man reduced to a wreck in the throes of passion.

Hands behind Eren’s knees, Levi holds them up and apart as he lifts himself, plowing deeper into the tightness of his body. Levi groans and growls, pants, grunts, gasps out Eren’s name with so much abandon Eren fears he’s become possessed.

The worry is short-lived.

When Levi’s thrusts become erratic, he does Eren the favor of undoing the knot around his cock. “You’re going to come for me right fucking now, and you’re going to let everyone know who’s buried so deep in your ass that you have to scream his name.” The words are deceptively calm and even, not a hitch in them.

Eren does as he’s told.

❖

When he comes to, the room is dark.

There isn’t a single part of Eren that doesn’t ache, leaving him to wonder if he got hit by a subway without his knowledge. A pleasant weight over his hip tells him otherwise.

He’s snuggled under the sheets, hazy head on a plush pillow, and steady breathing tickles the back of his ear. His limbs feel like lead, but it’s a nice kind of heavy, one he doesn’t bother trying to pinpoint how it happened.

“Finally awake?” Levi’s voice is raspy, be it from sleep or the workout his throat went through tonight, Eren hasn’t the slightest idea.

Eren hums. “I thought you’d be out the door the moment you were done.”

“Too tired.”

“Was it good?”

There’s a beat of silence before Levi answers. “Best I’ve had in a while.”

Eren grins happily, burrowing deeper into the heat of Levi’s chest against his back. “I’m glad.” It takes him a moment to realize it, but Levi’s caressing the burns his tie left on Eren’s wrist. “Next time, I’m topping the hell out of you.”

Levi’s rhythmic stroking stops, and Eren almost complains, until he realizes what it is he’s just said. “We agreed that there won’t be a next time.”

It isn’t fair.

The universe can’t be so fucked up as to gift Eren with the best lay ever to then take it away from him. Then again, this isn’t the universe’s fault. This is all Eren; Eren and Levi, and the need to purge of this magnetic pull. It’s been said and done. They fucked, wildly and truly, and that’s it. End of chapter. Time to start a new book.

“At least stay until morning,” Eren says, grabbing onto Levi’s wrist. “I’ll make you breakfast before you go.”

He shouldn’t. What Levi needs to do is be gone before Eren wakes up again, solidify the fact that this was just a one night stand. They’re co-workers. They’re worlds apart.

“That’s my intention,” Levi says, tightening his hold on Eren’s waist. “Not that I plan on getting up before noon, anyways.”

Eren’s heart skips a beat.

No. No, it doesn’t. It can’t. Eren won’t allow it.

But it does.

“Brunch it is,” he says without his brain’s consent.

Levi hums, brushing his lips against Eren’s nape. “And this isn’t cuddling. Your bed’s too fucking small.”

Yeah, Eren’s heart is definitely skipping beats. He’s dug his own grave, and now it’s time to lay in it.

“I think I fucked up,” Eren mumbles after a very long silence. Unsurprisingly, no answer comes. Levi’s breathing evened out just a few moments ago.

The neon clock on Eren’s bedside reads 4:17am.

He’s well and truly fucked.

❖

The glare of sunlight against snow is what wakes Eren up, his bedroom curtains having been pulled opened at whatever god-awful hour it currently is. He grumbles, tossing about in his bed as he grabs for a pillow to slam over his face. In the distance, he can hear his phone ringing, but he can’t be fucked to answer it.

His head hurts. So does his back, and arms, chest, hips, and ass.

Eren blinks once, twice, three times when last night rushes in a flurry of vivid and loud images. He sits up, and the too-quick movement makes his head pound with the beginning of a migraine.

Holy shit.

The bed is empty, however, and the spot Levi had slept in is cool despite the heater.

Eren tries to tell himself that there’s no room for the emptiness he feels settling inside his chest. This is what they had agreed on. He has no right to feel heartbroken, especially when he has no emotional attachment to Levi. Levi has his own life, however unstable it may be, and that’s none of Eren’s goddamned business. He has his own stuff to worry about.

Bringing his knees to his chest, Eren sighs, hiding his face within his hands.

He’ll eventually get over it, and he couldn’t be happier about Christmas break. A week away from everyone will do him some good. Indulging in video games or anything else will help him get his mind off pale skin and moonstone eyes and velvety smooth hair. Maybe he and Armin can play something online, even ask Mikasa to join in.

Eren sneezes when the smell of bleach becomes too strong to ignore.

“I should have known you were allergic to cleanliness,” Levi calls from the kitchen, his voice threaded with murderous rage.

Eren gapes when Levi bursts into the room with a cloth tied over his nose. He’s wearing a pair of Eren’s sweats and the undershirt he had been wearing last night. Gloved hands are holding a spray bottle and a sponge, and he’s ready to use them as a weapon if the need to do so arose.

“There was a _mushroom_ growing in the garbage well,” he says, like that alone excuses him from what he’s doing. “I’m not eating anything in this apartment until the risk of salmonella is dramatically decreased.”

“You’re cleaning my apartment,” Eren says, and it isn’t until it’s out there that he realizes how dumb he sounds.

“Someone’s got to fucking do it.”

The smile that creeps across Eren’s face hurts his cheeks. This is bad. This is a terrible idea. But he doesn’t really give a shit. “I’ll order us some brunch,” he says, but then looks at the clock when Levi pointedly stares at it.

2:00pm. Well, shit.

“How about some pizza?” Eren offers instead, just as Levi is turning away from him.

“A man after my own heart,” Levi throws over his shoulder, and disappears into the kitchen.

Eren ought to stop by the doctor’s office sometime soon, because he’s certain that something is wrong with the way his heart begins to race.


	2. Caution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, guys. I really wasn't expecting so much love? Thank you so much for all reviews and kudos and the like! (And sorry for being a ball of awkward when it comes to replying to those. hhheh) And for those who asked, you can find me on tumblr at [jaegersaurus.](http://jaegersaurus.tumblr.com/) ~
> 
> Some pretty heavy Erwin/Levi up ahead, mostly because this part is told from Levi's POV. Also, in case of typos, don't hesitate to let me know. This story is completely un-beta'd and my attention span when it comes to editing is shit. Sorry in advanced.

**January.**

Levi is no stranger to vices.

Throughout his life he’s made habits out of alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex, among other things he doesn’t fancy reminiscing. His life has been a cocktail of bad decisions he refuses to regret, because what’s the use in that? Time after time he’s picked himself up off the floor and carried on. No one else is going to do it for him.

That’s not to say he hasn’t had help. Hanji hauled his ass to rehab once or twice, and Erwin put a roof over his head and a bed to sleep in. Levi is yet to grasp something he’s done and crown it his proudest achievement – although he figures not overdosing or fucking up either his lungs or liver is something to call impressive.

The basic vices Levi has controlled and conquered. But, Eren, the shitty little brat, is a whole new monster Levi hadn’t been expecting to indulge. He likes to think of the situation as a harmless little thing, but god knows it isn’t. That fact is sealed the moment Levi slams Eren into a bathroom stall and locks the door behind them.

They shouldn’t do this. They _can’t_ do this, and not only because Levi is a germaphobe who is nauseated at the prospect of sex in a public bathroom, but because the majority of Levi’s co-workers are sitting just outside, sipping on their expensive drinks and singing karaoke. 

_Erwin_ is sitting just outside, enjoying an evening out with his subordinates after a long and stressful week at Sina.

If ever Levi was on the highway to Hell, it’s because of this right here.

‘One night stand’ his ass.

It’s been three weeks since their not-so-accidental blunder at Eren’s apartment, and since then they seldom directed a word to each other, mostly out of awkwardness in the work area, at least on Levi’s behalf. Eren is probably put off by the silver band on his finger, despite their hour-long conversation over dinner on the morning after the best sex Levi has had in years.

The tension between has only grown worse.

It’s the tiny and nearly imperceptible things that capture Levi’s attention, like the way Eren’s mouth softens into a sweet smile whenever they’re in the same room. Bringing him his morning coffee, Eren makes sure to subtly brush his fingers against Levi’s when he places the cup on the front desk. Their eye contact lasts longer than is socially acceptable, but that’s mostly because Levi can’t really pinpoint the color of Eren’s eyes. His shaggy hair is a mess no matter how hard he tries to make it look presentable.

Eren is too adorable for Levi’s health; so eager. There’s life in him. Unlike Erwin, Eren doesn’t bear the weight of Levi’s past. Sex with Eren is everything sex should be: liberating, enjoyable, reckless. And it’s addictive.

“Your lack of self-control is appalling,” he says when Eren replies to his suggestion of heading back to Eren’s place with a roll of his hips. At least they aren’t at some dive bar, so the bathroom is moderately bearable – just by a bit.

“Sorry,” Eren mumbles against his throat, pressing a tongue to his Adam’s apple. “Your fault for getting me horny.”

If Levi were someone to snort, he would have done so. “If I recall, you were the one who started playing footsie.”

Eren has a need to act out when he feels threatened, and being the possessive little asshole he is, Erwin’s presence set him off. It had been frustratingly cute, until Eren kicked it up a notch by using the tip of his shoe to nudge at Levi’s groin under the table.

Levi retaliated. Mostly, he just nibbled suggestively on his mozzarella sticks.

An excuse to use the restroom and have a smoke later and here they are.

“I don’t like him,” Eren says, and he sounds surprisingly conflicted by the admission. “I don’t like it when he looks at you.”

Leaning back against the stall door, Levi allows Eren to do as he pleases.

He shouldn’t be turned on by this. Jealousy and possessiveness are dangerous things to play with, especially when they have the power to destroy an already unsteady relationship. Sure, it’s a relationship Levi doesn’t really want – considering that want and need are two completely different dictators inside his own head. He wants Eren, but he needs Erwin for reasons unrelated to the heart.

Does this make him a shitty person?

Damn straight it does.

Keeping up appearances is something Erwin has always obsessed over, and Levi just so happens to have been chosen for the role of the trophy boyfriend. That’s not to say there’s no love between them, but it’s a different kind a love. Erwin got Levi on his feet, and Levi keeps Erwin grounded. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship that has nothing to do with romantic love. Maybe lust, once upon a time, but that faded when the high school sweetheart came back into play.

Now they’re both comfortable with where they are. An official title with no emotions attached. An indefinite engagement with no plans for marriage in the picture. This usually serves to keep unwanted suitors away, but then the two of them fell into this mess, and neither wants to bring it up. Levi wonders why he and Erwin have grown so complacent.

Maybe they’re both getting off on the thrill of ‘infidelity’.

Either way, Erwin still likes to play pretend behind closed doors. It’s difficult not to when they share a living space, when they share a bed – a cold one, but a bed nonetheless. Sex is rare, but Erwin isn’t above snuggling up to Levi’s back and kissing his neck. Levi doesn’t bother lying; he likes it, adores the attention.

But this is far more exhilarating.

Even when he and Erwin used to fuck like dogs in heat, he never gave Levi his full attention. Erwin never outright claimed Levi as his, never marked or claimed him. Levi was always treated as a passing fancy despite the apparently serious commitment. He understood that and welcomed it. But now, now Levi is being rammed with the full-force of actually being wanted with enough ferocity to leave him reeling.

This is just lust.

Levi can’t bring himself to make drastic decisions in the haze of sex. Eren just knows how to push his buttons, he knows where to nip and kiss, what to pull and push. He has everything Levi thirsts for, both in and out of bed. Eren is sweet, starry-eyed and youthful, but he’s also relentless, ferocious and fervent.

Worst of all, Levi burns for him.

“Does it make you angry?” The question catches Eren off-guard, and he stops kissing his way up Levi’s cheekbones. “Does it make you angry that Erwin gets to take me home?”

Eren’s eyes widen as his eyebrows knit together in an impressive show of what is perhaps the most intense look of sheer wrath Levi has ever seen. “Yes,” he says, but the whisper is cracked.

“Hm.” Levi reaches down to unbuckle his belt. “Show me how much it pisses you off,” he says, his voice a mere rasp. Popping the button and lowering the zipper of his pants, Levi tugs himself out, gives his dick a few strokes.

Levi gasps when Eren uses his forearm to shove and pin him to the door. “Don’t.”

Levi wets his lips. “Why not?”

Eren doesn’t answer. Instead, he uses his available hand to pull out his own dick.

“Let me see you,” Levi says, wondering, not for the first time, why he gets so damn talkative during sex.

The space inside the stall is limited, but Eren takes a step back for Levi to admire him.

Pristinely dressed, Eren looks delectably fuckable with nothing but his cock hanging out of the fly of his pants. His hair is mussed more than usual, and there’s a tinge of pink on his cheeks, made more obvious by the fluorescent lights above head.

Without a word, Levi remains leaning against the door, and slowly jacks himself with lazy strokes. With a wink, he gestures for Eren to do the same.

The list of kinks and fetishes in Levi’s repertoire is long, and the vast majority of them have gone unexplored due to unwilling partners. This particular one, however, is one barely anyone rejects. Comparably bland to everything else on the list, Levi enjoys watching his partners masturbate, preferably to him.

Had he been prepared, Levi would currently be bending over for Eren to take him, but he doesn’t have condoms or lube on him, so that will have to wait for some other time.

Eren is surprisingly well-endowed. He’s bigger than Levi; thicker, longer, and the thought of taking it up his ass makes his knees grow weak. Not out of fear of pain, but sheer desire. Levi’s been called a cockslut on more than one occasion, and he’s never once denied the claim.

Levi holds Eren’s eyes as they both tug at their lengths.

Eren stops to spit on his hand, returning his hold and jacking himself off faster. His hips buck ever so slightly and he bites his bottom lip to hold back all sound, and fuck if it isn’t the hottest thing Levi has ever seen.

The bathroom door opens and Eren becomes paralyzed at the sound of footsteps. A group of voices, all of them drunk, fills the area. The men are laughing, discussing things rather raucously – and Levi gives Eren a smirk.

Eren’s jaw drops when Levi places a finger over his mouth in a gesture to keep quiet, the other hand still stroking his dick. “Live a little,” he mouths silently, speeding up his fist and throwing his head back in the form of an invitation.

Hesitantly, Eren does so.

It proves difficult to keep quiet, but the noise in the room drowns out the little whimpers that escape Eren. He fists a hand in Levi’s tie as the other flies over his cock, big eyes glazed over with the tell-tale signs of orgasm creeping up on him.

Levi simply watches, still lazily touching himself as Eren comes undone before him, using nothing but his own hand.

He leans forward for a short kiss, and then whispers in Eren’s ear, “Come for me, right now, and you’re going to mark me as yours. Do I make myself clear?”

Eren’s body jerks, his fist going faster.

Levi lets go of himself in favor of pulling up his shirt, blazer pinned to his sides in order to expose his stomach.

Eren leans in, mouth latching onto Levi’s as he fists himself past the point of climax, whimpering around Levi’s tongue and staining his stomach with the evidence of his release.

Eren’s come is hot against his skin, absolutely filthy, and the thought makes Levi’s dick twitch.

Face buried in Levi’s shoulder, Eren’s body trembles as he comes down from his high, mumbling feverish nonsense.

“Well done,” Levi says without an inch of sarcasm.

Once Eren straightens up and leans against the stall wall, Levi takes quick care of himself over the toilet. They’ve been in here long enough, and they should get moving before Hanji – or god forbid, Erwin – comes looking for them. However, Eren is kind enough to hug him from behind in order to give him a hand.

A knock on the stall’s door makes Eren tense and Levi sneer.

“Picking up the soap?” says a stranger, provoking a chorus of laughter from the other men present. Fortunately, Levi recognizes none of them.

Eren’s arms tighten around him the moment he tucks in his shirt and zips himself up, mindful of the come still on his skin. He isn’t looking forward to the stickiness, not one bit, but cleaning it off will defeat the purpose of having Eren mark him.

Touching a hand to Eren’s forearm, he gives him a slight nod before turning around and opening the bathroom stall.

Five corporate assholes. His favorite.

“I was about to, but judging by the tent you’re pitching, I’ll grant you the honor of bending over for me,” Levi says, keeping his tone of voice just this side of suggestive. “Hope you brought condoms.”

The other four men try their best to stifle their chuckles, but to no avail. “You got some balls, dickwad.”

A hand to Levi’s elbow keeps him from socking the asshole. Behind him, Eren is pleading for him to just let it go. If it were any other time, he would have.

Pulling away from Eren and the men alike, Levi makes his way to the sink to wash his hands. “I’d tell you to suck them, but I have significantly higher standards.” Shaking off the excess water, Levi grabs a paper towel from the dispenser, dries his hands, and dumps it into the bin.

Fixing the partition of his hair, Levi turns to Eren and gestures him to head outside. The man’s cheeks are an unhealthy red by the time Eren steps out into the lounge, Levi holding the door for him.

Wedging in a foot to prevent it from closing, Levi stops to adjust his tie. “You couldn’t afford my time even if you wanted to,” he throws casually, leveling every single person in the bathroom with a glare he’s sure they won’t misinterpret. Judging by the sudden paleness of their cheeks, they don’t.

“No more public misdemeanors,” Eren says the moment Levi joins his side, making a beeline for the bar. He’s agitated, cheeks red and eyebrows furrowed so tightly Levi fears the frown will become permanent. The look on his face is rather attractive. “I don’t know what I expected, to be honest.”

Levi hums in acknowledgment as he slides onto a stool and orders a fifth of whiskey. “Three of them were gay,” Levi say as they wait. The remark makes Eren do a double-take. “The punk with the toupee kept ogling you.”

The days of being a common thug are well behind him, but he isn’t above knocking a few teeth if his hand is forced. He doesn’t take kindly to others looking at what is rightfully his, so Levi won’t suffer a fool who probably jerks off to internet porn more often than not. Sure, Eren is someone meant to be admired, being the stunning creature that he is, but Levi isn’t having anyone undress him with their eyes.

Glass set in front of him, Levi downs it in one go. The burn is pleasant, and settles in his belly with gentle warmth. Now he’s thinking of Eren as _his,_ and this cannot possibly end well.

He wants to blame it on the bitterness of a ruined afterglow. Hell, Levi wants to blame it on everything he can possibly think of because his self-control is better than this. He knows when to shut up and walk away, proving the better man, and this situation prompted for just that. But he didn’t. More than anything, Levi wanted to sock the motherfucker for interrupting him, rip out his teeth and force-feed them to him for looking at Eren the way he did.

Were he a lesser man, Levi would have banged his head against the bar top. Rather, he opts for eating a piece of ice. The crunch is satisfying.

Eren chuckles and Levi turns to him just slightly. A glass is placed in front of him, but rather than liquor, there’s a can of Coke standing beside it.

He’s drumming his fingers when he says, “Kinda silly, considering that you were there.” Levi figures he’s making a confused expression because Eren begins to explain. “You’re the hot one.”

No stranger to being called such a thing, Levi asks for another drink.

For all the brashness and spontaneity, one would figure that Eren has a better sense of self-love in him. He doesn’t. All Levi has seen in Eren’s quieter moments is hatred at the firmly rooted belief that he’s responsible for his mother’s death and father’s abandonment. Smartass remarks aside, Eren is nowhere near as confident as he fakes to be. At one point he even complained about hating how awkward his ears are.

When the bartender slips him the glass, Levi sloshes around the contents as he deliberates whether or not to address the matter. He’s unsure of what to say, because he fears brutal honesty will be frowned upon in this establishment.

Levi decides on something subtle, something that will promise him a next time where no bigoted asshole will interrupt and ridicule them.

“There you are!” Hanji announces all too loudly, getting a grimace out of him. “Where the hell have you two been?”

“Blowing a fag,” Levi says into his cup.

Hanji nods her head in understanding while Eren chokes on his soda. “I thought you lost your lighter? Anyways, Erwin left a few minutes ago, said he needed to head back to the office for some last minute stuff.” The way she says it lets Levi know that paperwork is the last thing on Erwin’s mind for the night. “He said to tell you not to wait up.”

Levi ignores the way Eren is looking at him, mostly because the look on his face is eerily blank. A hint of disbelief colors his eyes, however.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Levi says.

Hanji lingers for a moment, her eyeballs boring holes into the side of his head. She doesn’t ask if he’s okay, and that’s exactly the reason why Levi holds her in such high regard. A best friend doesn’t prod when they aren’t wanted to, and she’s perfectly capable of deducing the right time to do so.

“I’ll see you on Monday, Captain,” she says with a grin, patting Levi’s shoulder with enough strength to nearly make him swallow a piece of ice. “You too, Eren. Be a good boy and don’t get into any trouble.” She pinches Eren’s cheek for good measure.

Eren splutters in indignation, reminding her for the nth time in a month that he isn’t a child.

“Your place better be as clean as I left it last time,” Levi says before he can think better of it.

He won’t be going home tonight.

Despite how despondent he looks, Eren offers Levi a tiny smile. “No, but I bought some new detergents to try out, if you want.”

Hiding his smile behind the glass, Levi takes a swig.

Add that to the infinite list of reasons why Eren should be his.

❖

**February.**

For being a community filled with corporate deadbeats, Sina has a tendency for embracing the festive. Valentine’s Day is no exception.

The lobby, usually dressed in standard white with the touch of beige and black, now has blotches of red and pink. Red pillows on the couches, heart stickers every here and there, paper cupids stuck on the glass doors, and a trail of paper hearts hang in front of the front desk. Levi half expects to find Eren wielding a bow and arrow.

The only thing commercial on their receptionist is that red tie Levi absolutely despises. Eren looks good in everything and nothing, but red is simply offensive against the color of his skin. He keeps the thought to himself.

“Good morning, sir,” Eren chirps so brightly he wishes he had shades on. “Happy Valentine’s.”

Levi makes a noncommittal sound as he hands Eren his coffee as well as an atrociously decorated coffeecake. Had it been up to him, he would have picked something that didn’t have heart shaped sprinkles, but the coffeecake from that specific shop is Eren’s favorite, just like the grin Eren cracks without fail is Levi’s favorite.

The kid knows better than to comment on it.

“Anything I should be made aware of for today?” Levi asks, careful to keep their professionalism intact. As much as he would rather spend his time smooth talking Eren in the little time they share, there’s things to do and people to boss around. Today is no different.

“The imports report has been bumped down to tomorrow, but you’ll have to attend today’s meeting on Smith’s behalf. He won’t be able to make it in.”

Levi admires Eren’s ability to keep a straight face most of the time. Saturated with the image of a smiling dweeb, it’s easy to forget that he’s more than just a kid who likes video games and keeps a messy apartment. Eren is a (somewhat) responsible adult with anger management issues.

As for Erwin, Levi has a bone to pick with him. He doesn’t do corporate meetings, it isn’t his job, and yet he’s expected to just pick up the slack whenever Mr. CEO feels like playing hooky – which isn’t often, granted, but it’s still annoying. However, he had been informed yesterday evening, giving him enough time to get his shit together and sorted into a neatly organized presentation. The distribution department didn’t like him just as much as he didn’t like them, but he’ll kick their ass with meticulousness and a minimal amount of swear words.

Knocking his fist against the desk, Levi casts Eren the usual look of gratitude before heading for the elevator.

There’s another cupid stuck to the mirror.

Levi pointedly doesn’t linger on why Erwin bailed, because everyone and their mother know the answer to that. On the opposite building, their sales director is most likely MIA as well. He isn’t aggravated due to their not-so-secret rendezvous, because Levi understands, he really does, but taking each other on gondola rides while eating chocolate covered strawberries is no reason to shove one’s subordinate into a den of vipers with little warning. Sure, Erwin deserves a break, but it would be great if he didn’t decide to take it on Levi’s goddamn time.

A small commotion greets him on his office floor, and he gracefully ignores it, as per usual.

Folder under his arm and briefcase on the other, Levi crosses the floor with the intention of locking himself inside his office and not facing anyone until the meeting, but he has no such luck.

“That’s so cheesy I could hurl,” Aurou says loud enough to be heard across the floor.

Next to him, Petra shoves an elbow into his ribs, making him double over. “Don’t be a jerk. I think it’s romantic,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Don’t tell me you like this kind of shit?”

“Eh, who doesn’t?” Erd’s voice joins in.

“Him, most likely,” Aurou says with a grimace, jerking his head in Levi’s direction. “Ain’t that right, Boss?”

Levi comes to a stop once he reaches the door that leads to his adjoining office. Half the staff is huddled in front of it, peeking in and snickering like a bunch of preschoolers. He doesn’t say anything, and his silence is enough to make everything shut up and slink back, clearing the way.

Not one prone to outbursts, Levi finds that even he has his limits. “What the actual ever loving _fuck?_ ”

Behind him, he hears Aurou mutter an “I told you so” in Petra’s ear.

Without saying another word, Levi slams the office door behind him shut.

This is not Erwin’s doing, he’s far too classy for this kind of shit. This has Eren written all over it, and Levi’s unsure whether he wants to kiss him or tear him limb from limb.

His office looks like a Hallmark store exploded inside of it just a few moments ago.

For starters, who the hell uses balloons this day in age? Half a dozen of them are tied at strategic points of the office.

Red and pink confetti cover the carpeted floor, and all Levi can think is how much of a pain in the ass it’s going to be to vacuum this place.

There’s a bear sitting in each of the leather armchairs with bows around their necks, but they’re nowhere near as big as the bear sitting in Levi’s office chair. The wretched thing is just as tall as he is.

On his desk are two arrangements.

One of them is made of flowers, an assortment of red and white roses with a single blue one standing on the middle. It clashes with the rest of the unruly décor, but Levi takes it as Eren’s unique signature: that one discordant note in an otherwise impeccable symphony.

The second is made of fresh fruits.

His office looks uncharacteristically lively when the sun bursts through the glass wall, bringing out the vibrant colors of an otherwise bland room.

Placing his briefcase and folder on the desk, Levi plucks the huge bear from his seat, only to find that it’s been sitting on a box of chocolates. Of course. What’s Valentine’s without chocolate?

Levi’s unsure of how he feels about it. Mostly annoyed, considering the time it will take him to get his office cleaned up. Otherwise, he feels indifferent. He’s never looked forward to this day, but he doesn’t hate is as passionately as others do. February 14th is just another date on the calendar.

Sitting down, he opens the box and finds a slip of paper. Knowing better, he elects to ignore it by picking a piece of chocolate and popping it into his mouth. At least they taste good.

He should pull up the presentation and give it a onceover. In fact, he should get on cleaning out the ridiculous decorations. There are a million and one things for him to do right now, and none of them include him sitting down, eating chocolate, and reading a love letter from a pining co-worker.

Eren has all but destroyed his strength of will.

With a click of his tongue, Levi grabs the paper and turns it over.

There’s no poem or dramatic love confession as he had been expecting. Instead, in blocky handwriting, Eren wrote the following:

  
_I know you probably hate it, so go ahead and call me selfish._   
_But I haven’t had a reason to celebrate Valentine’s in ages, so..._   
_Be mine?_   


The black ink is slightly smeared.

The silence is tangible, but not only inside the office. Levi can feel himself teetering just over the ledge of a freefall, his stomach suspended with anticipatory excitement for the oncoming thrill of falling.

The simplicity of the words robs the breath from his lungs. A distinct sort of pain blooms in Levi’s chest, and so he grants himself a moment to indulge in a moment of weakness.

Both of his elbows on the desk, Levi buries his face in his hands and simply sits there.

He doesn’t want to think about anything, about the past or what the future may bring. He doesn’t even want to think about the mess that is the present situation. Levi just wants to sit there. Waste a blip in time on nothing but what he’s feeling on this very moment.

He isn’t a child or some lovesick teenager, but he wants to sit there and linger on the warmth that sets inside his stomach. Levi wants to bask on the tingling of his fingers and toes, and the shakiness of his knees.

The moment is gone in a matter of seconds, leaving Levi to straighten up and compose himself.

Part of him wishes he could confide in Erwin to give him some advice. He always has a clear head on his shoulders, making him brilliant at making decisions. Levi has only ever been the pessimistic dreamer too scared to reach out for what he’s always wanted, simply because he always thought it out of reach. All his life, Levi’s been the dreamer while Erwin was the achiever.

But now, Levi has to call the shots himself.

He can’t keep waddling between two different currents; he’ll eventually lose his footing and drown.

He’ll have to talk to Erwin.

Why _should_ he talk to Erwin? It isn’t like he and Eren have anything more profound than good sex. Breaking off an engagement for a passing fancy isn’t worth it. This isn’t love. Levi is certain he’s incapable of feeling such a thing.

Opening a browser and logging into his personal email, he types Eren a message.

_You are an insufferable asshole._

He doesn’t hesitate on hitting send.

He has to nip this in the bud.

_Yet you still waste your time on me. I wonder why that is._

Levi can read the smugness as it rolls off the words.

He can’t help but wonder himself.

_Thank you, Eren._

Much to Levi’s grievance, one can’t nip something that’s already in full bloom.

_You didn’t answer my question._

This email takes a while to arrive, and Levi can see Eren second-guessing himself behind the desk. He’s probably mussed up his hair more than usual as he debated whether or not to send it.

Levi lets him fret for a few moments, popping a few pieces of chocolate into his mouth and savoring them. One of them has a cherry in it. He’s never been too fond of sweets, but Levi figures he’s okay with these. What he’s not okay with, however, is the reply he sends Eren’s way.

_Always._

❖

**March.**

Levi and Eren’s relationship is symbiotic at best. They push and pull just as far as the other is willing to go, and it’s a refreshing change from Levi’s previous partners, official or not.

It began with things such as covering each other’s back when cornered and inquired as to where they’ve been. Shortly after, they began exchanging ties and cufflinks. At one point, Eren began arranging Levi’s meetings so the guy could catch a break every other week. In return, Levi pulled the strings to saddle Eren with a raise.

The mutual benefitting doesn’t end there. To Levi’s delight, Eren is just as much of a sexual deviant as he is, making already great sex become this mind-blowing religious experience every time Eren gets that glint in his eye.

“I thought we agreed on no more public sex,” Eren says, but he’s smiling despite the blush on his cheeks.

“This isn’t a public space.”

“No, I’m sure _nobody_ can see us when the entirety of your office wall is made of a single pane of glass.”

“We’re on the twelfth floor of a New York high-rise. Nobody’s going to see us,” Levi says, putting a bottle of wine back in his mini fridge. “The door is locked. If we keep quiet, nobody’s going to come and check on us.”

Eren turns from the window to the door with an unconvinced look on his face. “I’m sure nobody’s going to suspect a thing, especially when the entire floor saw me come in here and stay for god knows how long.”

Rather than having Eren head home once his shift was over, Levi requested for him to join him until it was time for Levi too to call it a day. It wasn’t a spontaneous request, though, since Eren had been made aware last night.

“In that case, let’s get a move on,” Levi says, walking up to stand behind Eren, hands on his stomach.

With a happy sigh, Eren leans back into him, overlapping his hands with his own. “I prepped, just like you asked me to.”

Levi hums a delighted note, before pressing a kiss to Eren’s neck. “Are you using it?” At Eren’s chuckle, Levi squeezes him tight before releasing him. “Show me.”

Coy smile pulling at Levi’s arousal, Eren kicks off his shoes and swiftly removes his pants. He stares at Levi while pulling off his boxers, his limp cock looking lovely as he stands there, fumbling as he decides where to rest his hands.

“Over the desk,” Levi orders, closing the distance between them as Eren turns around and leans forward, hands gripping the edge of the desk. Playfully, Levi smacks his left ass cheek. “Spread your legs.”

Breathing measured, Eren obeys.

Levi feels himself swell at the sight of perfectly round cheeks parted by a flat end. The hint of blue is a stunning contrast with Eren’s darker skin, and Levi wastes no time in running his thumb across it, nudging the plug a little deeper.

Eren gasps.

When Levi had expressed his desire to screw in his office, Eren flat out refused. The twelfth floor is always bustling with activity, and Levi is constantly being hailed. There wouldn’t be a big enough window of time for them to do anything more than make out.

Once he singled out time management being the cause of Eren’s reluctance, Levi decided to get creative.

The introduction of toys into their time together hadn’t been much of a big deal. Levi had found a box of vibrators stashed in Eren’s closet back in January, and since then, dildos and butt plugs and gags and the like became their weekly bread.

After a failed attempt at phone sex last night, Levi suggested for Eren to prepare himself before work. The fact that Eren listened to him, that he stretched himself and wore a butt plug to work, leaves Levi panting before he’s even removed his own clothes.

“Is it uncomfortable?” he finds himself asking, rather stupidly.

Eren chuckles, looking back at Levi with a raised eyebrow. “What do you think?” He wiggles his hips. “Not so bad, though. Just hard to ignore.”

Levi lets his hands caress Eren’s ass, gently squeezing at the fleshy mounds. “And yet you kept it in,” he says, leaning down to press a kiss to Eren’s shoulder. “You’re such a good boy.”

“R-Really?” The single word sounds breathless.

“Mhmm,” Levi assures him, pressing his still-clothed crotch to Eren’s bare ass, and molds his front to Eren’s back. “Yes, you are. You make me happy when you do things right, Eren.”

Eren’s moans taste sweet, especially when Levi can feel them reverberate against his throat. Eren has a thing for being praised, just like Levi has a thing for being controlled, but he doesn’t have to know that just yet.

“I’m glad I could satisfy you, sir.”

Gingerly taking hold of the stopper, Levi slowly pulls it out, mindful of both the suction and how Eren’s muscles have relaxed to take the form. He doesn’t remove it completely, and instead pushes it back in at an agonizingly slow pace.

Eren whimpers, but doesn’t push back for more. He remains perfectly still for Levi to do what he wants. “I imagined your fingers,” he rasps out, his frame trembling from the effort to keep himself still. “I imagined your tongue inside me and I…” The sentence hangs when the plug reaches as far as it can go.

“Tell me.”

“It made me hard, thinking about what you’d do to me, sprawled in my bed and desperate for you to fuck me.”

Unable to help himself, Levi presses his hard-on against Eren’s ass, wanting relief. “Did you get yourself off?”

Eren shifts when his arms give out, and instead he leans his head on his forearms where he keeps them folded over the desk. “No,” he whispers. “I didn’t want to come unless you were there.”

This kid is going to be the fucking death of him.

Levi fucks him with the plug, nice and slow, until Eren is hard and squirming. He runs a hand along his back, tickling the knobs of his spine and walking his fingers across the subtle spray of freckles along his tailbone. Eren’s skin is smooth and beautiful, and all Levi wants to do is suck bruises onto it.

“Did you bring the stuff?” Levi says after several minutes, unable to wait any longer.

Eren’s groan is soft. “L-Lube’s in my pant pocket.”

Making sure to keep the plug in place, Levi gives him another slap that makes Eren jerk and gasp with pleasure.

“No condom.” Levi lifts Eren’s pants and shakes them, drawing a packet of lube from the pocket but nothing else. “You think I keep a stash in my office?”

Head still on his forearms, Eren gives him a shaky smile. “I thought we could… um, you know.” He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and gives it a nibble. “Bareback.”

Levi’s heart does a strange dance in his chest at the suggestion. It’s been established that they’re both clean several months ago, but this is a whole new level of intimacy Levi hasn’t even considered yet. “Are you sure?”

Unsure of how such a thing is even possible, Eren perks up. “Hell yeah.”

Levi suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.

Not bothering with removing his clothes completely, he simply removes his belt, unbuttons, and lowers his zipper. He makes sure to lower his pants enough so that they won’t irritate Eren’s skin.

Eren spreads his legs further apart, hips twitching every now and then while Levi gets himself ready.

Cock thoroughly coated, Levi latches on to the nape of Eren’s neck while slowly removing the plug and carefully placing it on the desk. He’ll worry about getting those stains out of the wood later. Right now, there’s a pretty little hole in need of a pounding.

The fit is snug, but Levi slides in with beautiful ease.

Eren makes a sound that’s a cross between a hum and a whine which becomes lodged in his throat. He squeezes down, and Levi is hopeless to control the jerk of his hips. “You’re still tight,” he says, nearly in awe.

“S’okay,” Eren says between pants, his entire body trembling. “I love how full it feels.” Levi’s hips give another involuntary thrust, which causes Eren to chuckle. The sound is dark and smooth. “You want me to tell you how much I love your cock, again?”

Hands on Eren’s hips, Levi pulls him back onto him. Keeping calm and collected is a difficult task when Eren sluties himself up on purpose, determined to drive Levi mad with desire. The kid’s a shameless flirt despite the innocent mask he hides behind, something Levi found out while helping him clean out his bedroom closet. Eren had been unfazed by Levi’s discovery of his pair of four inch, knee-high leather boots.

Levi got him a matching riding crop the following weekend.

When he’s sure that Eren has gotten used to his intrusion, he pulls out by mere inches before pushing in again.

“Not in the mood for dirty talk?” Eren says after failing to receive an answer. He looks mildly disappointed despite having his ass filled with a fat dick.

“Not really,” Levi says, casually, when he sets them on a comfortable pace.

“It feels different, you not having a condom. Doesn’t glide as much even though you used so much lube.”

Levi considers this, concentrating on the tight heat around his cock. “It’s good,” he says, slowing down just to tease him.

“A little more lube would have done the trick.”

“Personally, I like the friction,” Levi says.

“Maybe if you jerked me off, I’d like it more.”

Levi nods even though Eren can’t see him. An arm around Eren’s chest, he pulls him upward until he’s standing slightly slouched. Levi holds him to his chest, and lifts his free hand to Eren’s face. He doesn’t have to tell him what to do.

Too horny to possibly frown at how gross it actually is, Levi stifles his moans against the back of Eren’s shoulder blades as he licks away at his lubed hand. The wet tongue slips between long fingers, coats the palm with plenty of saliva. Eren thoroughly sucks each finger, playing with them in his mouth.

Once decided that he’s ready, Levi lowers his spit-slicked hand to Eren’s cock.

“ _Fuck_ , yes…” Eren nearly doubles over. “Way fucking better while jerking me off.”

Levi takes his time with Eren when he really shouldn’t. The idea of coming prepared had been to minimize the amount of time locked in the office before it got suspicious, but balls deep inside a wrecked Eren who has been reduced to whimpers and choked pleas for more, Levi can’t bring himself to give a shit. He’ll take as long as he damn well pleases.

He squeezes the base of Eren’s cock when he gets too loud, body tensing with the telltale signs of orgasm. They really ought to get a cock ring for this sort of thing.

The height difference never bothers Levi until they’re both like this. Vertical sex is definitely a turn on, but it’s difficult to do when Eren is in front of him. Levi wants to bite at his ear and suck a bruise along his jawline, whisper just how gorgeous Eren is like this, but he can’t.

Eren is muttering a litany of nonsense before yelping, back quacking and knees turning to jelly.

Holding him up, Levi smirks.

He pushes Eren down to lean against the desk again, resuming his previous position. “Touch yourself,” Levi orders, just like Eren likes it: rough and demanding.

“Y-Yes, sir,” he says, inelegantly taking hold of his cock and stroking himself when Levi begins fucking into him in earnest.

Levi tries to aim his thrusts, but the position is still awkward and therefore difficult to hit Eren’s prostate. He doesn’t give up, however, using his hands to touch every bit of smooth skin he can reach. Levi finds that he doesn’t mind the sweat all that much, not when he’s the cause for it.

It’s by sheer luck that Levi jabs just right, Eren’s hand flying over his dick when he comes with a cry so loud Levi fears the entire building has heard him. Eren’s body jolts and shudders as thick ropes of come dirty Levi’s desk. He should be pissed, or at least annoyed, but the sight of it excites Levi beyond reason.

He goes faster, pushing himself deeper when heat begins to coil deep down in his gut, Eren’s labored breathing urging him on. Placing his hands on Eren’s hips, he pulls him back to meet each thrust, and the way Eren keeps mewling, gasping out Levi’s name like something sacred—

“Shit,” Levi grits out, dragging out the word when he snaps into a frenzy that just isn’t enough. He wants more. “God—f-fuh— _fuck!_ ” Eren is still calling for him. “I’m gonna come,” he hears himself say, and there isn’t an inch of self-control left in him.

“Inside,” Eren urges him, reaching out to grab Levi’s shirt, keeping him place. “You fill me up, okay? Come inside me and plug me.”

Levi can’t recall ever coming this hard in his life.

His finishing shove is so hard, Eren grunts when the edge of the desk is slammed into his stomach. Levi cries out something intelligible, something he has no time to muffle against Eren’s skin. But fuck if he cares. He’s coming hard and hot and _inside of Eren_ and that’s all that fucking matters.

“Oh, my god,” Eren wheezes, moaning high in his throat. “Fucking – _yes!_ Fuck, yes, Levi, it’s so hot. It’s so damn hot.” The tone of Eren’s voice can only be described as pure and unadulterated bliss.

It takes a colossal amount of strength to not buckle to the floor, but Levi has it under control. He rests the side of his face on Eren’s back as he catches his breath, arms wrapped around Eren’s middle.

Too caught up in the heat of passion, Levi hadn’t noticed that the sun has completely set and the office lights have automatically switched on. Their glow is aggravating when all he wants to do is curl up and sleep for a few hours.

Kissing Eren’s back once he trusts himself enough to move, Levi lightly strokes his chest before reaching for the butt plug once more. It’ll probably be too loose now. “You’re going to make a mess out of your underwear,” he reasons, nuzzling his nose between Eren’s shoulder blades.

“Something’s bound to stay.”

Levi hides a smile against Eren’s skin. “Dirty boy.”

“ _Your_ dirty boy,” Eren corrects, moving his hips.

He should probably go see a doctor, because the way Levi’s heart beats so erratically cannot possibly be healthy. “My good, dirty little boy.”

Eren hums, satisfied. “I like that better.”

Levi slowly pulls out with a wince, knees still shaky, and manages press in the plug before too much of the come oozes out. “There.”

Eren turns around and tugs Levi in for a surprisingly tender kiss that feels oddly out of place after such a crude fuck. His lips are slick, a little chapped and swollen, probably from biting them in order to keep his noises in check. His tongue prods at Levi’s lips, and he’s granted entrance without a second thought.

“You’ll be the death of me,” Eren whispers against Levi’s lips, eyes glassy with post-coital bliss.

Taking a deep breath, Levi moves in for another kiss.

❖

**April.**

What makes today different is that Erwin knows Levi will be staying at Eren’s apartment tonight. The confession brought on several jokes when Levi insisted they won’t be doing anything work related, purely social. Erwin didn’t make a quip about Levi’s inability to socialize, but he did ask if he and Eren would braid each other’s hair.

Levi said no, but they would definitely do each other’s nails.

Erwin told him to enjoy himself with so much aching sincerity Levi nearly felt ill. _Nearly_ being the key word.

His conscience is spared when their night together is spent innocently, watching each installment of _The Lord of the Rings_ one after the other. Eren orders pizza to accompany the six pack of beer Levi has brought with him.

By all means, it’s a legitimate sleepover.

The coffee table at the center of Eren’s living room is pulled to the side, ridding the space between the television and the couch of any obstruction. Levi sits on the carpeted floor, back against the couch, as Eren lays down and rests his head on Levi’s lap. The position is comfortable, and excellent for smacking Eren’s head whenever he decides to voice out the entirety of the Battle of Helm’s Deep.

Eren’s hair is clean and soft as Levi cards his fingers through it, softly scratching at his scalp and making him melt onto the floor. His hand is eventually pulled away, their fingers entwining, and neither saying a word about it. Their silences are always comfortable, for they speak louder and clearer than any words they could ever say.

By the end of the movie, while Gollum vows to reclaim the Ring, Levi notices Eren absently twirling the silver band on his finger. He tries really hard not to relate to anyone in the damn movie, and he desperately hopes Eren won’t stoop low enough to crack _my precious_ jokes.

Neither of them moves when the credits begin to roll. It’s 10:00pm.

This silence is tense, and Levi can sense the oncoming conversation. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Eren turns his head to look up at Levi. “Huh?”

“You’re thinking too loud.”

Eren pouts, but it’s a pensive kind of pout. He brings Levi’s hand close to his face, inspecting the modest band while he laces their fingers together again. After a moment, he sighs, and presses a kiss to each of Levi’s fingertips.

He doesn’t want to have this conversation again.

Their last argument earned Eren the silent treatment for a good week, but Levi knows he can’t blame the kid for his anger. Levi keeps sloshing between two waters rather than choosing a current and going with it. He can’t let Eren go, but he also can’t let go of the man who molded Levi into the man he is today.

As adults, they made the decision to take the situation to the furthest point it could reach, and that’s it. Levi is Eren’s lover, and that’s the end of it. At the end of the day, after a good fuck, the slate was wiped clean. Levi has someone to get home to. There can never be anything else between them.

At first, Eren had been okay with it. They enjoyed the kissing and the sex, sharing each other’s warmth in the cold winter nights, but Levi failed to notice when it began to change. The medley of alcohol and sex morphed into long nights spent in each other’s company, with Eren pressed to his side and chuckling between his mumbled conversations. Suddenly, he has a Valentine; they’re going out to the movies or for dinner, spending nights on the phone when neither of them talks.

Their office romance turned into something else, and Levi is in some deep shit.

He tried again, telling Eren that he could never give him what he wanted, and Eren called him a soulless asshole. A well deserved insult, considering Levi was too wrapped up in his comfort to really mind Eren’s own feelings.

But they made up, slowed things down.

“Wanna have sex?” Eren asks, still holding Levi’s hand to his mouth.

“I’m not really in the mood.”

“Yeah, neither am I.”

Eren brings down Levi’s hand, placing it over his chest. Levi can feel his heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt.

“We should watch Star Wars, next,” Eren says, staring at the ceiling with a somber look in his green eyes. “Bring out the ice cream.”

“What about The Return of the King?”

“Too depressing.”

Levi quirks an eyebrow. “Stupid fanboy,” he says, fondly.

Eren shuts his eyes and softly shakes his head. “Aragorn gets his happily ever after with Arwen.” He sighs, his frown getting deeper. “Éowyn has to sit back and watch them do their thing.”

Ah, so Levi had been right.

“Doesn’t she stay with the blonde guy?”

“That doesn’t invalidate the heartache she went through.”

“That’s true, but Aragorn did tell her that he was unable to return her feelings. Éowyn understood and marched on. She didn’t let it bring her down, did she? No, she even defeated the Witch-king.”

Eren’s smile was bittersweet at best, sad at worst. His hand came up to cup Levi’s cheek with enough tenderness to make him shut his eyes. Levi isn’t as heroic and driven as Aragorn, he isn’t worthy of any sort of crown. And unlike Aragorn, Levi well and truly wanted to stay by Eren’s side.

“Nerd,” Eren says with a chuckle.

“At least we have an idea for our Halloween costumes.”

Eren laughter is sweet, almost a giggle as he rests his hands on his stomach. “Hey, Levi?”

“Hm?”

“Kiss me.” The words sound impish even if Eren’s eyes are too wide with fake innocence.

Kissing Eren will be Levi’s downfall, the turning point of the night. Good clean fun will eventually turn into a raunchier kind of fun.

Being the weak man he is, Levi leans in, but he’s interrupted when his lips are a hair’s breadth away from Eren’s.

“What would you do if Faramir walked through Sina’s doors?”

Levi’s back protests against the awkward slump when the question roots him to the spot. Several seconds tick back before the meaning of the question really settles in. When it does, Levi wonders why the thought never crossed his mind. Is he really that full of himself, believing that Eren would never look or want anyone else? Hell, Eren should set his sights on someone closer to his age, someone livelier and kinder than the bitter old man refusing to pick a path at the crossroads.

Levi doesn’t want him to, and that alone is a testament as to why Eren should move on. He’s selfish and cruel.

Straightening up, Levi stares at Eren thoughtfully. “Nod courtly at him.”

“You fucking wouldn’t,” Eren says, and the words may sound humorous, but underneath them Levi can pick up the traces of disappointment.

“Would you prefer we joust on our noble steeds?”

Eren isn’t smiling. “Would that really be it?”

“He’s Faramir. You won’t miss me as much as you think.”

“Bullshit,” Eren says, pushing himself up onto a sitting position. He doesn’t turn towards Levi, keeping his back to him. “Don’t assume you can gauge how I feel about you, because you can’t. Go ahead and pretend about whatever you want, but you can’t invalidate my feelings just because it’s convenient for your conscience.”

Nail’s head has been hit. Writing off Eren’s feelings as lust or misguided infatuation is easier than accepting the obvious truth no one wants to point out. Painful, how obviously in love Eren is with him. It eats at Levi every passing day.

“There are so many people you can waste your energy on,” Levi says, crossing his legs at the ankles when his left leg begins to grow numb. “Good people, people who actually deserve your attention.”

Still not turning to him, Eren chuckles wryly. “Your self-loathing is your goddamned problem. Fuck if I know what made you like this, considering you won’t tell me for shit, but you don’t have the right to use that as a fucking excuse.”

“For someone so gun-ho about getting his feelings validated, you’re sure shit about tending to others.”

“No,” Eren snaps, finally turning to Levi. “No, because this is just a load of bullshit. Everything you ever say concerning this situation is a load of bullshit. If I was just a fucking lay, you wouldn’t have stuck around this long. If I’m as annoying as you say I am, there are a million people who would bang you, all of them better looking than me, more sophisticated than me, and yet you stay here, in my shitass apartment.”

“We’re not having this conversation again.”

“We already are,” he says, struggling to keep his breathing in check. “Stop being a fucking coward and face it already. Make your goddamned choice and suck it up.”

“What if I choose Erwin?”

“You won’t.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because he doesn’t love you the same way I do, and you don’t love him the same way you love me.”

Despite the raw emotion in the confession, Eren’s voice doesn’t waver, and neither do his eyes. His lips press into a tight line and he nods, as if telling himself that he’s said the right thing.

Levi is sure he has, because the words resonate inside of him. Eren doesn’t deny the mutual love between Levi and Erwin; he just admits that it’s a different kind of love than the one they share.

Levi blinks, surprised at finally being knocked off his axis.

He never gave his brain permission to accept that he loves Eren – that he’s _in love_ with Eren. His heart has been set on it for quite some time, but acknowledging it is a whole other beast he isn’t ready to tackle.

Levi chooses not to say a thing, mostly because there is nothing for him to say.

“And if you do choose Erwin,” Eren says, rubbing the corner of his eye. “I move on. Kill some Witch-kings, rule some kingdoms, get myself a Nazgûl.” His chuckle is empty, the sound so heartbreakingly wrong Levi wants nothing more than to kiss the sadness away. “No one’s died of heartache before. Moving on doesn’t mean I never loved you, it just means that I loved you enough to understand that you owe me nothing. Your heart is your own and I’m not entitled to it because I slept with you or got you nice gifts. You’re right, you choose who you choose and I have no say in it, I have to live with your choice because that’s the way it works.”

“Eren.”

“Wait, I got momentum, let me finish.” Levi smiles at this. “You’re great, Levi, even if you don’t think so. I mean, I never met anyone who religiously donates his change. I know that you buy three cups of coffee every morning. One for you, one for me, and it didn’t take long to notice that the homeless guy on the way to the office building always has a trendy mug from the same shop. You cover for your co-workers more often than you admit. You’re loyal – no, don’t look at me like that, I’m serious. You’re a fucking sour dick, but you’re kind and warm despite the layers of detached apathy.”

Eren sighs, his entire body deflating when the load is lifted from his shoulders.

Levi doesn’t want to think.

None of these things are worthy of praise, he’s just trying to be a decent human being. He’s a liar, an unfaithful prick, a sick bastard.

“No one’s perfect,” Eren says, turning away from Levi again. “I feel like you’re the kind of guy who learns from his mistakes, as it should be.”

“You think this is a mistake?”

“I don’t know, maybe? Happy ending or not, you still cheated on your fiancé and I’m an accomplice. We’re both assholes here, no matter which way you slice it.”

Truth be told, it isn’t the worst thing Levi has done.

“You’re a masochist for wanting a relationship with me after everything you’ve seen me do.”

Eren shrugs. “When I was an intern, I jerked off to you more times than I can count. I was dating someone. Accidentally moaned out your name instead of his.”

The suddenness of it makes Levi laugh, something honest and unguarded. Eren does a double-take. “How’d that turn out for you?”

“Why you think I’m single?”

Levi scratches an itch behind his ear. “You and I,” he says, unsure what he means by it.

Eren nods, taking the end of Levi’s words and tying them into something coherent. “We gravitated towards each other.”

A heavy yet comfortable silence settles between them, the DVD having jumped back to the main menu, its mysterious score filling up the quiet.

Eren is just at fault as Levi is. They both fucked up royally, and they both know it. But most importantly, they’re both mature enough to get past it.

Levi eventually stands up to turn off the television. He walks over to Eren and taps his socked toes against the kid’s hip. “Let’s go to your bedroom,” he says without preamble, adjusting his sweater as he takes the hallway towards the back of the apartment. He can hear Eren padding behind him.

Maybe he’s finally made his choice, or perhaps the conversation served as an incentive for him to rethink things. Levi isn’t in the game of changing his mind once it has been set, but he figures there’s a first time for everything. Wise people accept the faults in their point of views and seek for ways to adapt them. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, he figures. Levi has never been known for stubbornness; at least, not on Eren’s level.

Pulling off his sweater, Levi neatly folds it and places it over Eren’s desk. He shuts off the light, climbing into the familiar bed. Fluffing the pillows underneath his head, Levi shifts his shoulders to make himself as comfortable as possible, before patting his chest in a silent invitation.

Standing by the door, the kitchen light casts a halo around Eren’s form.

With an audible sigh, Eren follows suit, removing his shirt as well as his sweatpants. He climbs onto the bed, but rather than straddling Levi as he would usually do, he lies down beside him.

A few seconds pass as they adjust themselves, Levi still on his back and Eren scooped up along his side with his head resting on Levi’s shoulder and a hand on his stomach. He throws a leg over Levi’s, almost turning himself into an octopus.

Levi wraps an arm around Eren’s back and pulls him tightly against his body.

Eren’s a smart kid for not making any cracks about impromptu cuddling sessions.

“We all went to the same high school, Hanji, Erwin, Nile and I. Erwin transferred in during senior year; couldn’t stand the guy with his stupid school pride jackets and shit,” Levi says, shutting his eyes against the darkness when Eren turns his head to stare at him. “Hanji and I were good, even if we were from different crowds. She tagged along with the bad kids just to keep an eye on me, make sure I didn’t get stabbed or anything. We all made it out alive, but I was in the hospital with three fractured ribs and a broken nose during graduation.”

Levi begins to absently brush Eren’s hair.

“College wasn’t going to be a thing for me, but the two of them signed me up and paid for my first year without my knowing. I always thought I had been given a grant, but it turns out it was just Erwin tapping into his parents’ bank account.” He chuckles. “I went with whatever they shoved my way since I really didn’t have a heading, never had the ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’ talk with anyone, so I figured whatever was okay as long as it put food in my mouth.

“Long story short, I got bored of college, got myself a job and earned enough to get by. I lost contact with them for a few months. Socializing was never my thing so I just… found an alternate way to keep myself entertained.”

“Sex, drugs and rock and roll?” Eren says in a serious tone.

“Not as glamorous as the movies, let me tell you.”

“How’d you get out?”

“Hanji found me. Pure luck, too.” Levi licks his lips, unsure of how to continue. He isn’t ashamed of his past, but there’s always that nagging sense of self-consciousness whenever he confesses to being an ex-junkie. “Snorted a little too much, baked on the side.”

Thankfully, all Eren does is nod, his hair tickling Levi’s chest. “I smoked pot once.”

“Ever shotgunned?”

“Yes.”

Levi hums. “First thing we did when Erwin and I started dating.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Few years ago. Hanji dragged my ass to rehab and once I was out, they put a suit and tie on me. I’m guessing Erwin liked it.”

“You look really good in suits, especially form-fitting ones. _Especially_ when you take off your jacket and your crotch is hugged nicely.”

Levi smacks him upside the head, making Eren chuckle.

“Anyways, Erwin was vice-president by this point so he took me under his wing and mentored me while I finished my degree online.”

“That’s awfully nice of him.” Surprisingly, there’s no venom in Eren’s voice.

“Yeah, but unfortunately people don’t recover from years living on the street in just a couple of months.”

“Relapse?”

“I stabbed him.”

Eren sits up at this, eyes wide. “You stabbed him.” His tone, however, is measured and tight.

“We got into an argument. Something stupid I bet, since I can’t even remember what it was about. He said shit, I said even worse shit, and he was just so fucking calm about it that I lost it.”

“That’s… wow.”

“He drank too much, I smoked too much – recipe for disaster, but we worked through it. The fighting eventually died down when work consumed most of my time, so we’d vent our frustration through sex. Before I knew it, Erwin was insisting I move in with him to save me the trouble of rent. After that, it was dinner and drives around the city. Then it was a ring box on my desk with a scribbled note.”

Eren stays quiet when he settles back down again, pushing himself closer to Levi’s side and clinging to him like a lifeline.

“Say something,” Levi says, wanting anything but silence right now.

“What’s there to say?” Eren’s words are mumbled against the skin of Levi’s chest. “You have amazing friends, and Erwin… he’s a good guy. He’s…” The sentence drops, and Levi knows what Eren’s thinking.

Levi and Erwin are two sides of a same coin. Good men with good intentions making bad decisions and trying to get by with what they have. If Eren was to diss Erwin for doing what he’s doing, he’ll have to spit in Levi’s eye all the same.

“I don’t resent him for sneaking out with Nile,” Levi explains, trying to shrug with Eren’s weight over him. “No idea what’s between them, but between him and I, there’s just too much baggage. Good sex became polite sex, and that’s it.”

“But he loves you.”

“Never doubted that.”

Eren nods his head again. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You wanted to know about me, now there you have it.” _Nothing but damaged goods._

“You’re thinking that you owe him, don’t you?” Bingo. Rather than lecture Levi on how wrong that is, Eren opts to pressing a kiss against Levi’s jaw. “I understand.”

He’s just full of surprises, isn’t he?

“Would you believe me if I told you that I killed someone once?”

Levi blinks his eyes open and frowns. The utter seriousness in Eren’s tone, despite it being a mere whisper, makes his hairs stand on end, leaving no room for jokes. Uncomfortable hollowness expands in his stomach. “Self defense?” he says, because there’s no way Eren would do so otherwise.

Thankfully, Eren hums in affirmation. “Two men broke into our house while dad was at work. They killed my mom and then turned to me.” The words are cold and devoid of any type of emotion. “I used a kitchen knife.”

“How long ago was this?” Levi is surprised Sina would even hire anyone with a criminal record who doesn’t have direct connections with the higher-ups.

“I was nine.”

Levi’s hand freezes in Eren’s hair. “You were nine.” Who the fuck is he to judge? He would have done the same.

“Dad never came home, so a friend of the family took me in.”

“The Ackermans,” Levi says, acquainted with the story of Eren’s adopted family.

“It fucked me up on some subconscious level, but I didn’t let it dictate my life. I didn’t let it weigh me down. And don’t think that I’m trying to make my life sound more tragic than yours, because that’s not it, but we all have shit to deal with.”

“Kid, I’m in my mid thirties. Who you trying to lecture?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Eren says. “Some people have lived more by the age of fifteen than some people have by the time they reach their forties.”

Levi shifts on the bed until he’s lying on his side, pulling Eren closer until they’re chest to chest. Their legs twine together. “You’re surprisingly eloquent when you want to be,” Levi says, pressing the tip of his nose to Eren’s. “Nice to see those video games haven’t rotted your brain.”

Eren smiles. “And I’ve never heard you talk so much in a matter of minutes. It’s been one hell of a strange night.”

“I’ll say,” Levi concedes with a nod. “Your hand isn’t even down my pants.”

“A shocking turn of events,” Eren says with a chuckle, wrapping his hands around Levi’s neck and pulling him halfway on top. Levi goes with it, and is unable to keep the corners of his mouth from tilting upward. “If you keep smiling like that, I’ll be forced to suck your cock.”

“Very romantic, Eren.”

“I should have been a poet.”

Levi nuzzles the side of Eren’s neck, pressing a kiss to the pulsing vein just under the skin. He refrains from biting down. The night doesn’t hold an invitation for sex. “We could also just make out until dawn,” Levi suggest, getting a mischievous smirk out of Eren.

“Sounds like a plan, sir.” Eren’s laughter is breathy, and the moment his hands begin to roam Levi’s back, he knows it will be a lost cause. “Bet you’ll cave first.”

Levi’s eye twitches. “Clearly you’re unaware of the limits of my self-control.”

Eren bites at his lower lip. “Then let’s push you to the limit.”

Fortunately, or unfortunately, three cans of beer are enough to knock Eren out until morning light.

❖

**May.**

Another check off Levi’ kink list, which, in all honesty, would be considerably easier to accomplish in a bigger car than his convertible.

“We could have waited until we got back to your apartment,” Levi says, deadpan.

“My bed’s getting too boring.”

“You said the same about the kitchen table, the shower, and my office.”

“Yeah, so? We’re yet to christen your car.”

“Eren, I swear to god, you get jizz on my upholstery and I’ll hang your head from my rearview mirror.”

Eren chuckles while wiggling his ass as he tries to make himself comfortable on Levi’s lap. Instead, he ends up honking the horn. “Shit.”

They hold still, waiting for anyone to pop their head around the corner, or the telltale sign of headlights overhead. Nothing disturbs them.

The sun has already set, and Levi’s car is the only one left on this floor in the multistory parking lot. Eren thought it would be a great idea to have a go in the car, and Levi, Good Samaritan that he is, agreed to indulge him. However, he had something else in mind, picturing the comfort of the backseat. But no, Eren wanted Levi behind the wheel.

“Should’ve taken my pants off before I straddled you,” Eren grumbles. His right knee slips off the seat, getting pinned between it and the door. “ _Fu_ cking—!”

Levi restrains the urge to roll his eyes, and shifts towards the gearshift, granting Eren more space. Hand on Eren’s leg, he helps him straighten himself up. “Does it hurt?”

“No, I’m cool.” Eren just sits there, hands on Levi’s shoulder while his lopsided smile turns into a full-out cackle. Levi, too, can’t help the twitch of his lips. “This is so stupid.”

“Sometimes I’m glad I don’t have to deal with blushing virgins,” Levi says, kissing Eren’s chin. The last time he slept with a virgin, the girl kept burying her face and apologizing for every awkward little noise or failed position.

Levi just doesn’t have the patience to explain how unattractive sex actually is, which makes Eren a damn treasure. Nowadays, their sex life involves more laughter than actual moans, and it’s strangely satisfying. It’s liberating, almost. With no need to keep themselves in check, to keep each other from feeling too much, sex has actually become something fun. Amazing how much one little talk can achieve.

“Sure, let some other poor guy do all the hard work.” Eren undoes his fly, and Levi takes it as his cue to do the same. “I went in with too-high expectations the first time, and man, let me tell you, I’ve never been so angry at porn in my life.”

Levi buries his face in Eren’s clothed chest in attempt to hide a laugh. The image of a horrified Eren is far too precious to handle. “We should make our own,” he says, kissing along the cotton of the button-down until he reaches the smooth skin of Eren’s neck. “For ourselves, obviously.”

Eren threads his fingers through Levi’s hair, gently tugging on it. “A sex tape?” He brings their mouths together, tongues playfully swabbing at each other before he pulls away again. “I’ll think about it.”

Levi hums when they kiss again, taking the opportunity to pull Eren’s shirt out of his pants and run his hands underneath, along the silky expanse of his stomach and chest. He pinches a nipple at the same time he bites down on Eren’s lower lip.

Gasping out a heady chuckle, Eren closes in again, flicking his tongue against Levi’s and twirling them before bringing it onto his mouth and sucking. A mess of saliva pools at the corners of Levi’s mouth, but he couldn’t care less. When Eren sets his mind to it, he’ll scorch the skin right off him. The kid’s a force of nature, pure seduction with the brightest smile.

“Fuck,” Levi whispers, taking Eren’s face between his hands and pulling him closer, kissing him harder. He may be hard and bursting to get off, but making out with Eren is always his favorite part. He kisses with eager fervor, wild and unrestrained. Eren is always conscious of Levi’s wants and desires, of how he likes to be kissed, licked and nipped.

Eren pulls away with a smug little smirk. “Like that?”

Letting his hands run from Eren’s face, down his neck, shoulders, sides, until finally resting them on his lower back, Levi tugs him closer, grinding their groins together.

Eren angles his hips for a moment, hurriedly tugging out his cock. He doesn’t let Levi do the same, opting to do it himself. Levi has to bite his lip at the sight of Eren’s hand inside his pants, pulling out his already swollen dick.

“Always so hard for me,” Eren whispers, giving Levi a tentative stroke. “And wet, too.”

Levi kisses him again.

Without lube, they improvise. Nobody’s getting fucked in the proverbial sense, even if they want to.

Eren gets on licking his own palm, using spit to slick them both up. It takes him a moment, and Levi fills the downtime with teasing touches. He toys with Eren’s nipples, but the kid gets too distracted, so instead his fingers knead Eren’s inner thigh, his thumb nearly touching his cock.

Even with the a/c on, the car is starting to get too hot. Levi wishes he could take off his suit jacket, but there isn’t enough space to do much of anything. He’ll have to deal with the sweat.

Without announcing it, Eren takes both their cocks in his hand and slowly begins pumping them.

Levi sighs, resting his head against the headrest. Lack of lube causes the chafe to be more pronounced, but Levi likes it. Eren eventually uses more spit, and Levi has to refrain from grimacing. Right now, getting off overrides his need for cleanliness.

Eren soon adds his other hand, creating a tight little hole for the two of them to fuck. It feels obscenely good, even if Levi doesn’t have a wide range of movement, or enough to space for purchase. He bucks up as far as he can, but the underside of his cock dragging along the skin of Eren’s own feels glorious.

“Let’s take this outside,” Eren gasps out, without having to stop his movements.

“What?” Levi narrows his eyes. “No.”

“Oh, come on. Nobody’s gonna see us.” Green eyes turn doe-like. “Please?”

Levi wants to bash his head through the windshield. Eren would ask him to murder someone, and Levi would probably do it. Fuck what his life has become and everyone in it.

With the lack of further disagreement, Eren grins.

The car door is shoved open and Eren nearly falls on his ass when he tries to get off Levi, his legs apparently gone numb. Levi doesn’t have time to think things over when he’s being pulled out by the arm, and hisses when the cool air brushes against his heated skin.

The floor is desolate, but that doesn’t mean a car won’t show up at any given moment.

Fuck him for getting excited at the idea of getting caught with his dick hanging out.

Eren is grinning, most likely happy at the thought of having Levi wrapped around his finger. “Lay back on the hood,” he says, but Levi only lifts an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing.” Levi sits on the hood, glad that he always keeps his car clean.

“I didn’t tell you to sit on it.” Eren pushes him back with a hand to his chest. Levi finds himself going willingly. “Touch yourself,” he says, words almost a whisper. “And that’s an order.”

Levi can feel his lips part, mouth watering with arousal. His traitorous cock jerks at the look Eren is giving him: all dark eyes and a discreet smirk.

Breathing heavily, feet firmly on the ground, Levi runs the pads of his fingers up the underside of his cock. “Does this satisfy you?” he says, squeezing the tip as pre-come begins to bead at the slit.

Eren watches him, standing between Levi’s legs as he slowly strokes himself. “No,” he says, matter-of-factly. “I would rather have you finger yourself, too, but, I guess this’ll do.”

Levi shivers. “Tell me what to do,” he whispers, and he can feel his face burning with shame.

Eren’s façade drops, and is swapped with a wide grin. “I fucking knew it.”

“Shut up.”

“You should have told me you liked to bottom.”

“Eren—” Levi startles when Eren’s hands slam on the hood beside his head. He leans in, face twisted into something feral and fuck if isn’t enough to make Levi come right then and there.

“Pressed on time,” Eren whispers against Levi’s mouth. “Here’s what you’re going to do.” His cock drags against Levi’s own for emphasis. “You’re gonna jack yourself until you come, and the only thing I want to hear from you is my name. Understood?”

Levi’s entire body trembles, stomach twisting with glee and balls coiling with excitement. This he most definitely likes, and he can’t keep himself in check. “Yes.”

Eren’s eyes narrow. “Yes, _what?_ ”

Levi has to squeeze around the root to keep himself from coming. “Yes, _sir_.”

“Good boy.”

Thighs quaking, Levi gets on it, stroking his shaft and twisting his fist over the tip, swiping his thumb over his slit. For once, he doesn’t want Eren to blow him or fist him, he wants to do this himself. He wants to touch himself while Eren does the same, staring down at him like a piece of meat. Heaven knows it shouldn’t turn him on this much, but it does. The thought of Eren taking control from him, subduing him… “E-Eren, fuck.”

Eren chuckles darkly. “I wish you could see yourself, Levi.” The name is but a purr that urges Levi’s fist to go faster, tighter. “I’ve never seen you blush before.”

Heels drag against the concrete floor as Levi bucks into his fist. It takes him a moment to realize that the person moaning is no one else but himself.

“You’re fucking wrecked,” Eren says with a gasp, eyes wide. “Christ, I’ve seen porn stars act less excited than you right now.”

Levi shivers, his teeth actually clattering with the force of it. His back is uncomfortably hot against the hood, but the motor’s vibration heightens his senses. Using his other hand, Levi fondles his balls while pulling at his tip.

“You’re drooling,” Eren mumbles, and that he is. “You look so fucking beautiful, Levi. God, you’re fucking perfect.”

Levi keens, back nearly coming off the hood when orgasm begins to tug at him. “It’s—” he cuts himself off.

“Say it.”

“It’s so good,” Levi rasps out, shuddering at the heated command. “It feels so fucking good, Eren. I… I… _shit!_ Fuck, Eren – _Eren!_ ” His words turn into absolute nonsense, hand flying over his cock.

He’s burning, and Eren is watching. Eren told him to do it, to bring himself over the edge, to say nothing but his name. Levi is hopeless to stop any of it, be it himself, or the way Eren is looking down at him like he’s worth more than the world.

It feels so mind-fuckingly good and Levi can’t really believe it. The world narrows down to only him, his back on the hood of his car as he messily pulls on his achingly hard cock. This is his own hand delivering pleasure beyond belief, and he’s never felt this good before, this happy, this satisfied with himself.

“ _Fuck me_ ,” he hears himself growl, and he’s right fucking there, teetering over the edge. He desperately tries folding himself into the ecstasy, submitting it to memory, devouring it and storing it for whenever he needs it, this absolute sense of gratification.

Feet fumbling for purchase, Levi hooks his heels on the bumper.

He opens his eyes, unaware that he’s closed them, but the sight of Eren standing there, looking absolutely rapt, is enough to make him come.

If anything, Levi is grateful that his voice gives out. He’s certain all of New York would have heard him scream Eren’s name.

Eyes tightly closed again, Levi waits for everything to fall back into place. To his embarrassment, hot tears slip from their corners and into his hair. His ears pop, letting sound rush in again. He feels drained, too tired to even entertain the thought of driving. He also feels amazing and young.

“You’re shaking,” Eren says, and his voice is soft enough to melt Levi’s heart.

Levi can’t talk even if he wanted to, but he does offer Eren an honest smile. He holds out his arms, and Eren silently complies. Resting over Levi, Eren places his head over the man’s chest. Levi wraps his arms around Eren’s shoulders.

“That was wild,” Eren mumbles. Levi hums in agreement. “Like, holy shit.”

When Levi’s breath finally steadies enough for him to talk, he heaves a shuddering sigh. “Do you want me to get you off?”

Eren shakes his head. “Got there way before you did, babe.”

“Don’t call me that again if you treasure your life.”

There’s a moment of silence while they gather themselves, still clinging to one another.

Levi eventually sits up, frowning at the mess of come staining his pants and shirt. At least Eren was kind enough to tuck them both in while they waddled in their afterglow.

“You think you can drive us?” Levi says, sliding off the hood on wobbly legs, clinging to Eren’s arm. He hasn’t been this undone in years. He look up at Eren when no answer comes, and the look on his face is one that makes Levi worry. “Eren?”

“That won’t be necessary, Eren. I’ll take him home.”

Levi shuts his eyes when a feeling similar to being dumped into a bucket of ice overtakes him. The pleasantness of orgasm and cuddling are swiped away with enough force to leave Levi reeling. His first instinct is to shove Eren away, but he doesn’t, his grip becomes vice-like.

Numbly, Levi turns to Erwin, who is standing a few feet away from them.

The collected look on his face gives nothing away.

“Go on home,” Levi tells Eren, letting his hand fall away.

“Are you sure?”

Levi nods. “See you tomorrow.” At this, he notices the way Eren’s eyes flicker to Erwin, then back to Levi. “I’ll sort things out,” Levi says, because they both know full well that Eren has gotten an express ticket to the unemployment line.

Eren lingers for another moment, his eyes wide and angry, but for entirely different reasons. He doesn’t give Erwin the time of day when he nods his head and turns around, heading for the stairwell.

Levi feels like he’s been abandoned to a lion.

He wants to ask Erwin how the hell he found them, but Erwin’s way ahead of him as he gestures his head to the ceiling. “Security cameras.”

“You keep a live feed in your office?”

“Springer had me stop by the security booth.”

“It’s not like you didn’t know,” Levi says, keeping his tone even, but the edge of defensiveness still bleeds in. “Eren keeps his job.”

Erwin considers him for a moment, before he starts towards Levi. “His personal affairs haven’t affected his work. I don’t see why one thing should be tied in with the other.” Slipping his hands in his pocket, Erwin cocks his head to the side. “Neither of you should worry about that.”

The breath leaves Levi in a relieved gust.

“We should talk about this,” Erwin says, professional as always. “Let’s grab some donuts on the way home.”

❖

There is no kind of torture unknown to Levi, having been on the receiving end of all kinds of abuse, but this possibly ranks among the top ten worst.

Having joy ripped from right under one’s feet leaves a sour sting in one’s gut, like being told one holds the winning lottery ticket only to have the Feds knocking on one’s door for tax evasion, taking one’s money, getting locked in jail and throwing away the key. Aside from blinding rage, the vague sense of hopelessness eventually turns to numbness.

Levi feels numb.

The jig is up.

Strange thing is, he’s not particularly upset at Erwin finding out. What upsets him is the fact that Erwin is tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of some cheesy pop song, his face devoid of any kind of negative emotion. He looks at ease with the whole thing, as if he were just the designated driver after a night of reckless drinking.

The box of donuts is warm on Levi’s lap, and the urge to either thrown them out the window or at Erwin’s face is strong. How dare the blond bastard act superior to him. It’s always that same blankly calm expression that ignites Levi’s wrath.

“Fucking say something,” Levi says. Silence has always been their preferred method of communication, but not tonight. The music is too loud, and the city lights are too bright as they zoom by through the windows of Erwin’s Porsche.

“I’m thinking.”

“When aren’t you?” He accompanies his words with the coldest stare he can muster. But unlike Eren, Erwin isn’t easily fazed.

Erwin hums. “I’m slightly upset, if that’s what’s bothering you,” always the perceptive one, “more at what you were doing – or better said, _how_ you were doing it – rather than the two of you sleeping together.”

“We’ve done worse.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Erwin takes a left at a streetlight. “I’ve never see you so…” he lets the sentence hang unfinished.

Levi recalls what Eren had said, the praises he had whispered against his neck and mouth.

The rest of the short drive is spent in silence, until Erwin pulls into a reserved parking space in front of their condo. He turns off the car but doesn’t unbuckle his seat belt just yet.

In all the years Levi has known him, he’s never seen Erwin so conflicted about anything. However this goes, the night will not end well.

“Please don’t think you owe yourself to me,” Erwin says at last, and granted, Levi hadn’t been expecting that. “That ring means nothing if this commitment isn’t mutual.”

Whichever way Levi looks at it, it always boils down to the same thing. He may not care for the grand majority of shit around him, but Erwin is one of the few things that truly mean anything to Levi. Almost a life-long friendship, a decade of flirting and a five year relationship flushed down the drain. Levi doesn’t do regret, doesn’t do attachments to things as volatile as love, but he doesn’t fancy the thought of just letting go of something that’s been a constant, something he’s invested himself in.

“Like I’m the only one fucking around,” Levi says, refusing to stare Erwin in the eye.

“You’re absolutely right, but you misunderstand what I mean by mutual.” Hands on his lap, Erwin scratches at a stained patch on his suit pants. “Levi, you aren’t some bird for me to keep caged because I enjoy your song. As humans, we need to treat each other as such. This apathy, this reluctance to fight isn’t you.”

“The two of you should do a segment on Oprah.” He’s tired of the relationship advice. At Erwin’s glare, he sighs. “Give me a reason to fight. I’ve been doing that shit all my life, and it’s time for this old man to retire. I’m perfectly comfortable with where I am.”

“Are you, really? You mean to tell me that you’re perfectly okay with me sleeping with Nile, with you being tied to me, when you could be with someone worthwhile?”

“Don’t come with this bullshit, you egotistical bastard.” Levi would have bought into it if it weren’t for Erwin trying to sell himself short. “I don’t know what your deal with Dawk is, but you’re still in love with me.”

Erwin stares out through the windshield, but doesn’t deny or accept what Levi has just said. He may be the most believable and cruel liar, but Erwin will never lie to Levi outright. The set of his jaw says everything Levi needs to know.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Falling out of love is something people do.”

“You _fucking_ son of a bitch.”

There’s nothing but sympathy in Erwin’s blue eyes when he turns to Levi. “I do love you, Levi. I love you two in very different ways. This doesn’t mean that what we’ve shared means nothing to me.”

There it is. The illusive humanity stored away within the confines of Erwin Smith’s perfect persona. His words echo inside of Levi because those are his words, his feelings reciprocated. Erwin is just as big an asshole as Levi is, and they both know it. They both screwed up, and it’s time to walk past it.

No, they _all_ screwed up, because Levi remembers having a similar conversation just last month.

Regardless, Erwin has a point. People fall out of love, and Levi fell out of it a long time ago. Hell, he isn’t even sure if he ever fell in love to begin with. He always did have trouble distinguishing between love and lust.

“At the end of the day, it’s your choice,” Erwin says, reaching out to stroke his knuckles across Levi’s jaw line. “The fork is up ahead. We can either fix this, properly this time, or go our separate ways once and for all.”

For months has Levi been sleeping on that decision, but he still isn’t sure which path to choose. He can’t let his apathy call the shots anymore. “If I stay?”

With a sigh, Erwin places his hands on the steering wheel again. “I’ll take some time off; maybe ask to be transferred to another branch out of state.” He nods, but Levi thinks it may be more for his own sake than otherwise. “A countryside colonial would be nice. Several acres for those horses you’ve always wanted, yeah?”

“Would we get married?” Levi asks, clenching his fists over the donut box.

He needs to make his choice.

“Yes,” Erwin says, a little too fast and too harsh.

He has to make it now.

Those words paint a gorgeous visual, one Levi’s jaded soul would love to indulge. He wants to grow old, comfortably, and despite the cozy home and half a dozen horses – would Erwin genuinely stay with him? Yes, yes he would, because he’s a man of his word.  
Then again, he did just admit to falling out of love. It’s with a horrible twist to his heart that Levi realizes what is truly going on.

Erwin really is no better than Levi, because he too is hanging his happiness on a nail for what Levi wants, for what he thinks Levi needs. They two of them are stuck in a problematic cycle that will drive them both into the ground. Eventually, despite Erwin’s best intentions, his hands will wander elsewhere and Levi will only retaliate, and then they’ll be back to square one.

“No,” Levi says, though his conviction is weak. He refrains from looking at Erwin. This is what’s best for him, for all of them. “I think it’s time we called it off.”

Similar to the aftermath of an atomic blast, the silence in the car is scorching.

There’s no weight lifted from Levi’s shoulder, no wave of relief; only dread and grief squeezes at his lungs. It’ll go away. He’ll live. He just has to move on.

Serenity touches Erwin’s face as he remains unmoving, eyes shut. “I can never really stop admiring your strength.”

Levi’s smirk is cold. “No, I’m just a selfish shitstain.”

Erwin chuckles. “Aren’t we all?”

“Birds of a feather.”

“One last time,” Erwin says, and it’s so sudden and out of place that Levi has to stare for him to elaborate. “For the road.”

Ah.

Levi doesn’t answer him, but he does unbuckle his seat belt and open the car door, donuts clasped under his arm.

He doubts he’ll be able to get it up, but the least he can do is give Erwin one more night for the trouble Levi has given him.

❖

Soft, sensuous and adoring are ways to describe Erwin’s kisses. Large hands adjust Levi with little effort as he sits him on the edge of their bed. Levi touches along the broadness of him, the strength behind those perfect muscles is perhaps one of Levi’s favorite things.

More timber to fuel his self-loathing.

This is just one night and then they’ll be on their way. After these next few hours, this will be a book Levi stores away for a rainy day that will never arrive. One night, a parting gift – and the last time he said these same words, he fell head over heels in love with a young man who holds starlight in his eyes.

“We should shower first,” Erwin murmurs against Levi’s mouth. “It’s been a long day.”

It’s been a long day, and Levi most likely has the leftovers of Eren’s sex on him still. “Go ahead,” Levi says, pushing Erwin away. “I’ll join you in a few. I need a cigarette.” That last one slipped out without his consent.

He watches Erwin move across their bedroom, taking a towel and fresh clothes that will only be removed once he puts it on.

Levi doesn’t move from the bed, even when he hears the bathroom door click shut. His limbs still hurt from the strenuous workout he gave them at the parking lot. For a moment, he wonders if he locked the car before they left.

The night feels out of place, and he figures he should give Eren a call and tell him that everything is all right, that he gets to keep his job, just to take his mind off things for a moment.

He shouldn’t. Knowing Eren, the brat would ask him if he was okay, what he was up to. Levi can’t lie to him, and he can’t tell him that he’s getting ready to sleep with Erwin.

Taking advantage of his solitude, Levi leans over, elbows on his knees and face buried in his hands.

He’s decided, and he’s reminded of this when he looks around the pristine bedroom. No video games, no t-shirts, no skateboard, none of that hazardous proof that Eren occupies that space. There’s no life in here, only the same monotonous pattern from back at the office. It’s comfortable, familiar, but it lacks the brightness of green eyes.

The air here smells of cistern no matter how much he cleans.

But a room is a room, Levi tells himself, the same way an office is an office. What makes it any different, are those inhabiting it.

Looking down at the band on his finger, Levi traces the coldness of the silver with his thumb and forefinger, before gripping it, and tugging it off. He won’t need it anymore. He’s made his choice.

So why is he still here?

 _Nip it at the bud, walk away, and don’t expose yourself to the drug that will make you relapse_ , just like they told him in rehab. Six years later, he can stare cocaine in the eye and feel no need for it.

God knows how long from now, he’ll be able to stare Erwin in the eye and feel no need for him, for his touch, or his kiss.

But to do that, he needs to clean himself up and the environment around him. He needs to surround himself with new and positive things. Levi needs to go cold turkey, not lower his dosage and hope for the best. He needs to make the big jump, but this time, someone’s on the other side to catch him if he trips.

He needs to get out.

Levi moves like a man possessed, the room spinning around him as he shoves his apathy to the back of his head.

He grabs his suitcase, takes whatever is within reach, and messily shoves it inside before slamming it shut. He can iron it all later, but he needs to go right now.

Grabbing his leather jacket, Levi tugs it on.

He hesitates despite forcing himself not to, but he has to be rational. He needs a course of action. Outcomes need to be studied, and options considered. And these are Erwin’s words, not his. Levi isn’t a strategist, he’s not intelligent enough. Intuition is his guide and it hasn’t failed him yet.

Running a hand over his face, Levi straightens up and gathers himself. He stands until his breathing becomes even and his hands stop shaking. Then, fixes the bed sheets over their – _Erwin’s_ bed.

He leaves the ring resting on it, not because he wants to be dramatic, but because he wants to leave one last ‘fuck you’ behind.

His hopes of leaving before Erwin steps out of the shower are in vain, the bathroom door opening just as Levi is making his escape with his suitcase in hand.

Erwin stands there with a towel around his waist and a hand on the door, but he makes no move to stop Levi from heading out. No questions are asked, no nods are given in acknowledgement. Levi keeps his eyes front and center when he walks by him, and that’s it. That’s the anticlimactic end.

Levi walks out with nothing but the clothes on his back and few extra items in his suitcase. He’s survived longer with less.

Without giving it another thought or looking over his shoulder to see if Erwin is staring at him, Levi shuts the front door with one final click.

❖

Levi regrets not having taken his car, because it’s a good twenty minute walk to Sina from Erwin’s condo at a brisk pace. It’s 11:00pm but he doesn’t worry about muggers jumping the short, disgruntled executive wielding nothing but an expensive suitcase and a smartphone. Levi is sure that the look on his face is enough to get them shitting their pants.

He takes a shortcut through a small park.

For once, he wishes the night was cooler, because he is sure he’s walking on autopilot and he needs something to shock him awake. Levi breathes, deep and even, as he takes a corner onto the sidewalk.

The blaring of horns and the bustle of people only serve to annoy him, house music spilling out from the clubs and obnoxious teenagers running about, nearly stepping on his shoes. He really hates New York at times.

It does serve as a distraction, because the behemoth of a building that is Sina Enterprises is already looming into view, and he’s barely given a thought to anything besides the amount of germs he’s contracted by constantly bumping into people.

He jogs the rest of the way, flashing his ID to the security guard manning the booth. The kid, tall, lanky and sweaty, tells him to go ahead, that he’s seen him enough times to know who he is. He comments on how nice Levi’s Camaro is, but Levi only gives him a distracted hum before walking into the multistory parking lot.

Heading for the stairs, Levi’s brain finally decides to flood him with questions he would rather do without.

He walked out on Erwin, on a life they had built over the years. Levi is technically out on the street after the blatant rejection, but he is more than capable of affording his own apartment. The worst thing will be facing Erwin at the office tomorrow. Not only will that defeat the purpose of Levi walking out when he did, but knowing Eren and his inability to keep a level head, things will go south very fast, and job openings will most likely be available before noon.

Once he reaches the first landing, Levi searches through his contacts and makes a call.

Historia answers on the third ring. _“Yo?”_ The voice that answers doesn’t belong to Historia.

“I need to talk to Reiss.”

_“Who the fuck is this?”_

“Co-worker.”

There’s a brief silence before _“Listen here, you dildo. Work ended two hours ago so if you want to talk to her, leave her a goddamned message or wait like a normal fucking human being until she pun—”_

Levi hears Historia over the line before the phone is passed to her. _“Who is this?”_

“It’s Levi. I need you to do me a favor.”

Historia gasps over the line, and it’s either his imagination, or the gasp was meant to hide a giggle. _“Is everything alright, sir? You sound… agitated.”_

Levi cocks an eyebrow despite himself, because he can tell that his timing is terrible. “Eren won’t be able to come in tomorrow and I would greatly appreciate if you could cover his shift.”

More giggles. _“Uh, yes, okay, I can do that.”_ She sounds distracted.

“In fact, if you could reschedule his holiday and have it start tomorrow, I’ll find a way to repay you.” Reaching the fifth landing, Levi is relieved to find his car unscratched.

Historia shushes a person on her end before clearing her throat. _“I don’t think that could be possible, not in such a short notice, anyway. I could try?”_

“I’ll see to it that your income is doubled for that week.”

_“Hold on, let me get the computer.”_

They run through the process as quickly as possible. Eren gets a week and a half off, paid. Levi doesn’t have any vacations accumulated, but he doesn’t give the slightest shit about that.

“Your girlfriend is rather charming,” Levi comments, and it isn’t exactly sarcasm. Listening to the woman talk is like listening to himself.

 _“I’m so sorry about that. Ymir isn’t happy about being interrupted during…”_ She stops, probably realizing what she was about to say. _“I mean – shit!”_

Levi nearly chuckles, because yes, it’s like looking in the mirror. “I understand. I apologize for causing any inconvenience.”

Sounding flustered, Historia clears her throat. _“Don’t worry about it! The best of luck to you, Levi. Have a good night.”_

Levi wishes her a good night before ending the call.

Not wasting any more time, he gets behind the wheel.

Driving through NYC, regardless of the time, is sheer madness. Levi manages to not get himself into an accident despite some very close calls, but he’s a damn good driver.

In just ten minutes he arrives in front of Eren’s apartment. Pulling into a parking space, his mind hasn’t stopped its incessant running. He’s calling shots he shouldn’t be calling, and taking steps when he really doesn’t know where he’s going. Without Erwin telling him what to do, Levi is truly at a loss.

No more thinking of Erwin.

Levi slams the car door shut with so much strength he fears he’s cracked the windows.

He forcefully knocks on the door, ignoring the protest in his knuckles when he makes each rap louder than the previous. Knowing Eren, he’s probably button-smashing away at some game and can’t hear the knocking. Levi is reaching for his phone when the door opens, revealing a troubled Eren.

Still wearing his suit pants but stripped down to his undershirt, Eren holds himself like a man ready to break off into a run. He looks terrible, like these past few hours have been hanging over his head with a knife at the ready. “Levi,” he says, but the name sounds clipped and tense.

Levi can’t stand it. He can’t stand that it’s his fault that Eren looks like sleep has eluded him for weeks when in reality it has only been two hours.

Closing the door behind him, Levi surges forward, gabbing Eren by the shoulders and shoving him against the nearest wall. He kisses him, hungry and desperate and broken. Levi is broken, and the only lifeline that keeps him from sinking is this bratty child that kisses him back with a relieved shudder.

“Hey,” Eren says between hurried kisses. “Hey, hold up.” Hand to Levi’s chest, he pushes him away. “What happened?”

Levi looks up at him, brings him down for another long kiss. He doesn’t want to talk about it. All he wants is to crawl into Eren’s skin and stay there until Levi’s come to terms with everything he has fucked up. He wants to burrow into Eren’s warmth and never come out.

“Levi,” Eren repeats, more sternly this time. “Talk to me.”

“We’re leaving.”

Eren visibly pales. “Wait, who’s leaving?” The question is clipped.

Levi pushes past Eren, towards his bedroom. “Who the fuck do you think, dipshit?” When Eren doesn’t follow him, it clicks that his words may have been misunderstood. Not in the mood to deal with a sulking Eren, he clarifies. “I need a breather, and you’re coming with me.”

From the closet in Eren’s bedroom, Levi pulls out a duffle bag. Placing it on the bed, he goes through Eren’s drawers, pulling out a handful of selections and neatly folding them before placing them inside. They won’t need much. With Levi’s credit card, they could buy whatever they leave behind. It isn’t like they’ll be gone a month.

Levi goes for the bathroom with the intent of taking one of the spare toothbrushes he had gotten Eren, but his hand is grabbed before he can make it out into the hallway. He nearly stumbles, but Eren holds him in place with an impressive glare. “Levi, chill the fuck out and tell me what’s going on.”

Looking down at their joined hands, Levi doesn’t say anything. The hold is different because it no longer hurts when Eren squeezes it. It’s comfortable, now.

After the beat of a moment, Eren looks down at their hands with wide eyes before looking back up again. His lips part like he wants to say something, but doesn’t. His eyes widen further, however, and Levi is almost certain that the gleam in his eyes are unshed tears.

His eyes, which Levi notices, aren’t as green as he always imagined. For all the times he’s looked into them in the heat of the moment, Levi has never really processed the bursts of blue in them until now. Those eyes are a treasure and Levi simply adores them, because they are just as beautiful as the young man who owns them. Eren is beautiful with his gentleness and kindness, among other things. Beautiful comfort, beautiful understanding.

“You stupid fuck!”

Levi is sure that, for the first time in years, the emotionless mask he dons fails him. He can feel his face contorting into something that reeks of confusion. His hand instinctively pulls away, but Eren holds fast.

“Why?” Eren says, squeezing the hand freely now that there’s no ring to keep him from doing so. “Why the hell would you do that?”

Numbness and confusion turns to anger, and for once Levi wishes he was still some street thug. He wants to hurt someone. Eren is supposed to be glad, welcoming of his decision. The kid is supposed to smile, maybe even hug him.

“You can’t do this,” Eren continues, finally letting go of Levi’s hand.

This isn’t rejection, though. Eren’s first instinct is to assume that Levi, rather than Erwin, was the one to end it. Eren thinks it’s his fault, that he’s pushed Levi into making a decision – maybe even out of pity.

Stupid, beautiful and selfless little shit.

“Eren,” Levi says, making no move to stop him from passing along the hallway.

“This is wrong,” Eren says, running a hand over his face. “This is… How could you even…? Levi, what the actual fuck?” He looks genuinely scared, but also confused. “You didn’t think this through.”

His tendency to talk more than he should is something Levi can live without.

“Don’t fucking insult me,” Levi says, bordering on lethal. “Don’t even think that you know me enough to tell me I’m wrong. I made my fucking choice and that’s the end. Whether you come with me or not, I’m walking out that door because I’m sick and tired of wadding in the same horse shit. I’m fucking sick of the lies, of his fucking games, of my fucking isolation, of fucking everything and there is nothing stopping me from getting in that car and leaving this goddamned city behind.”

Levi’s world shifts when he moves without shuffling his feet, Eren pulling him forward until he’s collapsed against his chest with strong arms around him.

“I’m tired,” Levi continues, unable to stop now that the dam’s overflowing. “There’s nothing keeping me inside the walls, nothing to hold me back. I’m not worthy of having the world on my shoulders when I can’t even stand up on my own two feet. Erwin doesn’t deserve someone who lacks conviction, the same way you don’t deserve it.”

“Don’t think you know me enough to say what I do or don’t deserve,” Eren says quietly, a hand cradling Levi’s head against his chest. He doesn’t let him go, only clings to him with the intention of never letting go.

Levi sighs, bringing up his hands to clutch the back of Eren’s shirt.

“Breakups are never easy, obviously, but they’re a little less harsh when someone’s there to back you up.” Eren presses a kiss to Levi’s forehead, and rather than be indignant, Levi hides his face.

For just a little longer, he allows himself to linger in the misery he feels. Hanji once said that it’s easier to feel than to ignore, and Levi has enough backlogged feelings to render him useless for several years. Venting in the solitude of a shower is one thing, but letting anyone else see him, much less hold him in such a vulnerable state is more than Levi has ever allowed. There’s a first time for everything.

“Finish packing up while I unplug all the appliances. Wouldn’t want this place to burn down while I’m away,” Eren says, slowly pulling away. He cups Levi’s cheek when he does, holding up his face to steal a tender kiss.

Levi wants to make a quip, but finds that he’s unable to.

They move quickly for an undeterminable reason. Maybe Levi fears on some subconscious level that Erwin may show up on Eren’s doorstep, not that he would stoop so low. Regardless, the two of them hurry out the door as soon as Eren changes into a pair of jeans and a shirt. Levi wishes he would have grabbed a shower when he could, but he figures the grime buildup accents the feeling of being absolutely trash.

When Eren locks his door, he takes Levi’s hand and gives it a squeeze while walking towards the car.

Levi hands him the keys.

“Where to?” Eren asks as he slips into the driver’s side. He isn’t as giddy as he would be at the chance of driving Levi’s car, but his shoulders aren’t as tense.

Buckling up, Levi shrugs. “Wherever you want to go.”

Turning the ignition, Eren adjusts the mirrors. “I’ve never been out of state.” He gives Levi a look that borders on nervousness.

Letting go of an unsteady breath, Levi nods. “Just drive, Eren. Get on the highway and it’ll take us anywhere.”

“What if we get lost?”

“At least we won’t be alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines! Even if you don't have someone to share it with, you always have yourself and some self-love is hella important so treat yourself nicely! xoxo


	3. Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you have it, folks: the final installment. Once again, I wanted to thank everyone who has been a complete sweetheart during these past couple of days, leaving kind reviews and the like. You are all beautiful people who have made my entire week. 
> 
> Do forgive the lazy editing and slight delay, but I had some unexpected company today and got horribly distracted for a handful of hours. It's also hard to concentrate on a computer screen with a killer migraine. Heh.

**Pennsylvania.**

They decide on California.

Eren picks up a map from the hotel lobby, intent on marking their cross-country route while Levi checks them in for the day. They drove all night until they found a Holiday Inn just off the highway in Pennsylvania, both too tired to go any further.

The entirety of the situation feels unreal to Eren, these past couple of months blurring together into an explosive conclusion that left him with a distraught Levi in his arms. For all the time they have spent together, Eren has never seen the man show so much raw emotion, much less heard his voice waver the way it did.

Part of him fears that Levi may be on the rebound, but it’s such a ludicrous idea, especially when they’ve been sleeping together for months. Sure, Levi needs him at this crucial moment, but not for the reasons Eren is scared of.

He does need a vacation, however. Taking a week to see his family is a treat he wasn’t expecting, not on his budget.

“Top floor,” Levi says, standing next to Eren and looking down at the map in his hands. “We get a hot tub.”

Ah, the little things.

They head on over to the elevator.

An odd atmosphere has settled between them since they left his apartment, and Eren is unsure whether it’s because Levi doubts his decision or that things are just out of place at the moment. He doesn’t want to bring it up out of fear of another outburst, so Eren gives Levi his space. They don’t touch, and they certainly don’t kiss.

“How long will it take us to get to Stanford?”

“About three days, maybe four, taking traffic and sleep into consideration.” Slanted eyes look sleepier than usual when they stare at him. “Why? You got an appointment?”

Eren gives him a tired smile. “Longest date you’ve ever taken me on,” he says, testing the waters.

Levi looks away, staring instead at the buttons that light up with each floor they pass.

Eren tries not to let it upset him. Things are different now, and whether that’s a good thing or bad thing, he doesn’t know. Levi’s a single man, now, and maybe Eren doesn’t have the same taste as he did when he was just a dirty little secret. He no longer holds the scent of a forbidden adventure. He’s just Eren. How long until Levi grows bored, or gives him the ‘just friends’ talk?

Feeling sick, Eren says nothing else when they reach their designated floor.

It takes them a moment to find their room, and when they do, Eren sort of wants to cry with relief. 

“At this point,” Levi says, touching his hand to Eren’s arm and stroking it until he can lace their fingers together, “it’s more of a honeymoon.”

The king-sized bed looks inviting with its pale sheets and plush pillows. The curtains are open, windows facing a small urban town.

Eren breathes out a laugh when he tugs Levi in for a chaste kiss.

“Go brush your teeth,” Levi says once they part, wrinkling his nose. “Your breath stinks.”

“You’re one to talk. Judging by what you’re wearing, you still have jizz on you.”

Levi sets his suitcase on the kitchenette counter. He still looks shaken, but he’s slowly regaining his usual composure, so Eren doesn’t push him as much as he can. 

“I almost slept with him.”

Eren opens his mouth, ready to retort, but the words die away. Date or honeymoon, this trip is going to be far from easy. This isn’t about Eren, this about Levi and his necessity to get away, so he’ll respect that, even when he knows he isn’t going to like the great majority of the things that will be discussed.

Leaning on the counter, hands on either side of the suitcase, Levi stares menacingly at the clock over the stove. “It was supposed to be a parting gift of sorts,” he says. “I couldn’t go through with it.”

Eren slips his hands into his pockets and nods his head, unsure of what to say. Heck, knowing Levi, it would be better to say nothing and just look mildly concerned.

“It happened three times since Christmas.” Levi looks at Eren, as if searching for a reaction. He finds none. “First, out of anger, when I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that I would rather be kissing _you_ goodnight. The second time because I needed to be grounded.” He doesn’t say that it was on Valentine’s, because everyone in the office could tell by the bruises on his neck. 

Eren remembers the heartache he had hidden that day behind warm smiles.

“The last time, I wanted to erase you, but instead I realized how different it was, and I’m not even talking about the sex.” Levi’s smirk contorts his face into something ugly. “You don’t know how fucked up it is to realize you’re in love with someone while being fucked by someone else.”

The heart inside Eren’s chest contracts, skips a beat, but he isn’t sure why: Levi admitting to being in love, or Levi telling him that he’s had sex with Erwin. The latter is stupid, mostly because it was obvious. The same way Erwin was aware of Levi’s escapes, Eren knew that Levi had someone to go home to.

“Figured you should know that.” Levi pushes himself off the counter to take off his jacket. He walks over to Eren and stands in front of him with his arms stiff by his side. “I still want him for reasons I can’t name, but I guess that’s how breakups work. That’s not to say I’ll go crawling back with my tail between my legs.”

Each word digs a deeper hole in Eren’s chest. He wishes Levi would stop.

Levi steps closer to him, bringing their chests together. “But, whether the universe likes it or not, you’re mine.” Cool fingers trace Eren’s face, and he instantly leans into the touch. “You’re mine, and this old man wants to be loved unconditionally for once in his life. So, as long as you’ll have me, Eren, I suppose I’m yours.”

Eren tries so hard to keep neutral, but he fails. His lower lip quivers with barely contained emotion. “Yeah,” he says, unable to keep his voice from cracking. “I love you. I really do.”

Not the most romantic of confessions, but their entire relationship has been skewed since the beginning. No use in trying to pretend that this is normal.

Levi presses another kiss to Eren’s mouth, a light dab reminiscent to the first one they shared, before pulling away. “I’m going to take advantage of that hot tub.”

Eren lets him go, and doesn’t watch him rummage through the minimal amount of clothing he’s brought along. They’ll eventually have to make a stop at the nearest Target for both their sakes.

He gets to drawing the curtains, blocking out the cloudy day and creating an artificial night for them to rest. These past few hours have triggered the migraine of the century, and he figures not much is different for Levi.

Turning on the television while Levi locks himself in the bathroom, Eren debates whether to order room service or not. He could go for a steak, maybe some ice cream to cool down his head and bring up his spirits. Doing so would require him talking to someone, and he isn’t in the mood to be polite.

Kicking off his shoes, Eren flops down onto the bed, ignoring the droning from the news reporter in the background. All he wants is for something to fill the silence, anyways.

With Levi’s somewhat confession comes a slew of new questions, most of them half formed and others broken records. It’s all a part of breaking up, Levi had said, and it’s the honest truth. Eren remembers his own breakups, how long it took him to bounce back from them when he buried his sorrow beneath layers of anger. While Levi may be all for never regretting his choices, it can’t be healthy to simply internalize everything.

Eren’s phone vibrates, and he pulls it out of his pocket to spot a text message from an unrecognized number. The New York area code is a dead giveaway, however.

_Please take care of him._

A frown tugs at Eren’s mouth.

Erwin isn’t the bad guy in all of this, none of them are, but part of Eren can’t help but feel resentment towards him. But what would Eren have him do? Keep Levi from walking out the door? Force him to ignore the fact that someone else has stolen the attention? Eren doesn’t know whether or not Erwin did the best he could, but what’s done is done.

He deletes the message.

Restless, Eren gets up and moves to the kitchenette. The refrigerator is empty, so he drinks a glass of water.

The phone vibrates again, and this time Eren growls in annoyance.

_It’s Hanji, btw._

Eren feels like an idiot. A text message from Hanji probably means that Sina is aware of something being wrong, or that Erwin’s gone to her for one reason or another. Either way, she now knows that Levi is with him.

_I’ll try._

He really will. Levi is a grown man with a clusterfuck of issues he needs to sort out for himself, but Eren won’t let him face those alone. Not if he doesn’t want to. Eren won’t push to be allowed inside, but he’ll stand just outside the door if he has to.

Leaving the phone on the counter, Eren knocks on the bathroom door. When he gets no answer, he takes a peek inside.

Over the course of several months, Eren has felt his heart break too many times to count. Each time, it grew more poignant, the cut deeper, but the sight before him is one that ingrains itself into his memory, no matter how reluctant he is to not let it do so. Under the cover of cold apathy, it’s easy to forget that Levi is only human.

Seeing him sitting in the tub with his face hidden against his knees makes Eren want to walk back out of the bathroom.

He’s done this before, and so has Armin. Jean did this the first time he and Eren fought, and there is no doubt that Mikasa has curled into herself in the same fashion. But they’re young and inexperienced, just kids trying to find their place in an adult world.

Levi is a man in his thirties, cynical and ruthless. He grew up amongst hardships and gangs, been thrown into holding cells for days a time. Levi is an adult who knows the world and plays its bullshit like a pro; a big shot exec, next in line to holding power beyond any paper-pusher’s dreams. Levi is the most powerful player in the game, and yet here he is, sitting in a hot tub, shivering like a soaked puppy.

Hand fisted by his sides, Eren doesn’t know what to do, or what to think. He shouldn’t have barged in, given Levi his space, but a wet hand is reaching out for him, so he takes it. Eren squeezes Levi’s warm hand, threads their fingers together in the quiet of the bathroom.

The position becomes awkward after several moments, and it’s easy to see that Levi has no intention of moving or letting go. Being the impulsive – not to mention dramatic – person that he is, Eren does the first thing that comes to mind. He gets in the tub, fully clothed. Besides, this doesn’t call for the two of them to be naked.

Back propped against one of the water jets, Eren makes himself comfortable, although the water’s heat sloshing through the thick fabric of his jeans makes it hard to do so. He figures he can deal with it when Levi moves, face fixed on the water as he shifts in the tight confines of the tub, to lie between Eren’s legs.

Head nestled against Eren’s chest, Levi clings to his shirt. Eren wraps his arms around those broad shoulders he adores kissing, and holds him. He doesn’t say anything, mostly because he isn’t sure if those tear tracks he saw just now are real or a trick of the light. Levi doesn’t cry, he’s above that, even if his breathing is a little off.

“You’ll either get a heat stroke while sitting in here or catch a cold the moment you walk out that door,” Levi says, and his voice sounds perfectly normal.

“Everything’s fine,” Eren says with a chuckle, tightening his hold on Levi’s shoulders. “It’s gonna take more than that for you to get rid of me.” Dropping a kiss over Levi’s damn hair, Eren shuts his eyes.

“I want steak and eggs for breakfast,” Levi says after a beat of silence, bringing up his legs to better cocoon himself against Eren’s front. “Add the biggest cup of black tea this hotel has.”

Eren smiles. If he didn’t feel this uncomfortable in wet underwear and heavy jeans, face so hot he’s starting to think he really will suffer a heat stroke, he would have laughed.

“We can order room service before hitting the hay,” Eren recommends, reaching for a small bottle of soap courtesy of the hotel. “But let’s get you washed up first.”

Eren jerks and winces when Levi pinches his ass. “That’s for treating me like a fucking baby.”

“ _I’m_ treating you like a—? Oh, okay, you know what? Fuck you.” Eren shoves Levi away, but the asshole is actually smirking, pushing against him. His left butt cheek throbs. “I was going to be nice to you, but now you can fuck off.”

The pushing and shoving eventually becomes an all-out wrestling match that gets out of hand rather quickly, mostly because there’s no winning against Levi. Small, strong, slippery and fast, it’s hard to pin him down. The one time Eren does manage to do so, he gets overpowered for becoming a ball of hysterical laughter. Pinning Levi underneath him, the smokiness of his eyes had reminded Eren of that scene in _The Lion King_ , and it took all of his willpower not to say _‘Hey Levi, wanna hakuna my tatas?’_ mostly because he doesn’t have tatas.

Ruined childhood movies aside, Eren feels better at seeing Levi kicking and splashing around the tub, sloshing water onto the bathroom floor. His eyes are soft with mirth, his lips tilted into a warm smile as he cusses Eren out before pulling him in for a gentle kiss.

“I’m really hungry,” he proclaims, and eventually lets Eren scrub him clean.

❖

Morning – or evening, judging by the moonlight spilling in through the suite windows – greets Eren with a kiss to the corner of his mouth and a pleasant weight on top of him.

He opens an eye with a grumble, and finds Levi leaving kisses along his face. For a moment, Eren thinks he’s naked, but a quick look downward reveals that Levi is wearing a pair of black briefs that sinfully hug his ass. Eren can’t feel much of his skin due to the bed sheet between them, but it’s easily the sexiest thing Eren has ever been on the receiving end of.

“Hello,” Levi says, voice dripping with heat. “How nice of you to finally join the land of the living.”

Eren doesn’t want to move, so he smiles sleepily. He loves being the center of Levi’s attention. “Hey there, hot stuff.”

Levi presses their noses together and, yup, Eren is head over heels in love. There should be a law that prevents overly attractive people from being too fucking cute as well. “I ordered Thai for dinner, hope you don’t mind. It’s almost midnight.”

Eren puckers up his lips, and hums at the kiss he’s given. “That’s great,” he slurs, clearing his throat. “We really slept the day away?”

“You did,” Levi says, making himself comfortable on top of Eren. Eren doesn’t mind in the slightest. “I went out, bought myself some clothes and took a decent shower when I got back.”

Narrowing his eyes, Eren looks to the kitchenette. Granted, there are shopping bags on the counter, and Levi smells of expensive soap. “You barely slept anything,” Eren says, running his hands down Levi’s back and settling them under the band of his underwear. “Get under the covers.”

“Our food should be getting here soon.”

“Well, get under the covers until it gets here.”

“If I make myself comfortable, it’s your ass that’s getting up to tip the delivery boy.”

“I don’t mind.”

Levi grows somber, and Eren smiles sadly. It’s become far too easy to read him. “I’m too restless to sleep,” he eventually confesses.

“I know,” Eren says, and moves one of his hands to cradle Levi’s head. “We can hang out and be lazy until morning, and then we’ll hit the road again.”

And they do just that.

Once their meal arrives, Eren haphazardly throwing on a hotel robe to open the door and pay the delivery guy, they spend their night watching crap television and sharing crappier jokes.

They eventually lose their underwear, mostly because Eren makes a habit out of snapping Levi’s band and making him hiss. Eren isn’t disappointed in the lack of sex, either. There’s something charming about seeing Levi strut in nothing but his skin without the intention of seduction. The both of them are comfortable with sharing their personal space without the expectation of falling into bed.

Morning comes at just the right time, and they don’t wait until checkout to get back behind the wheel.

With a bag of donuts and a thermos of coffee for the road, Eren grabs the keys, ready to put as many miles between them and New York as possible.

❖

**Iowa.**

The second night of their road trip takes them to a roadside bar, a place where nobody knows them, and boy is Eren glad for that.

Maybe it’s the rowdy atmosphere, or the fatigue of having been driving for ten straight hours, he isn’t sure, but something is definitely making Levi act weird. Or maybe it’s just Eren reading too far into things; after all, it’s not every day Levi wears such tight jeans that hang dangerously low on his hips. Neither does he wear such tight t-shirts layered with a meticulous leather jacket. Maybe it’s the June heat, but Eren wants to jump Levi’s bones more than usual, and it’s making his palms sweat.

Case at hand, Levi tips back glass after glass of whiskey, and he’s now walking with an extra swing in his hips, flipping off the truckers that get too close with grubby hands.

The sound of classic rock bleeds out of the jukebox in the corner.

“We should look for a motel to crash for the night,” Eren suggests, sitting next to Levi at the bar.

The bartender, a middle-aged woman with more life in her than a lot of the people Eren knows, gives them a knowing smile. “Nearest one is closest to Nebraska, boys. If you leave now, you might make it just before eleven.”

Eren looks at Levi, as if expecting for the man to nod and tell him they should hit the road again, but he only asks the lady for a refill.

“What’ll you be having, honey?” she asks, her smile bordering on motherly.

“Just a Coke.”

“Designated driver?”

Eren’s smile is lopsided. “Sort of.”

The woman walks away to exchange a few words with a blonde waitress, and the young woman nods before heading into the kitchen.

Eren briefly wonders if Levi would find her attractive.

“I lost my virginity in a place like this,” Levi says.

Trying and failing to hold back a grimace, Eren turns to him with a look he hopes conveys how much he doesn’t want to hear about it. Levi doesn’t care.

“Always had a type. If they could manhandle me, I’d drop my pants in a heartbeat,” he says, not caring that the woman has returned with their drinks.

“Soda’s on the house,” she says, before wandering away again.

Eren stares down at his glass, wondering why a bar would bother serving soda so classily. All the drink is missing is an umbrella.

Beside him, Levi knocks back his whiskey in one go. “I need to piss,” he says, putting down the glass and slipping off his stool.

Eren remains rooted to his spot. Part of him wants to follow Levi and make sure he doesn’t pick up some random stranger to screw around with in the bathroom, but he tells himself that he’s powerless to stop the man if he wishes to do so. He figures that after their impromptu confession back in Pennsylvania, they’re as official as they’re going to get, so he has the right to get a little miffed at the idea of –

He lets the idea die. Eren refuses to jump to conclusions. Levi would probably kick his ass if he were to know about his current train of thoughts.

“Trouble in paradise?” the bartender says, emerging with a rag in hand. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

Eren offers a shrug. “I guess.” To his surprise, she slides up an unopened can of Coke next to his glass.

“The strong, silent and broody types are always a hassle to deal with,” she says, going about polishing the glasses under the counter. “I have a boy who’s into the type, and let me tell you, nothing but headaches.”

Opening his can and pouring it into the now empty glass, Eren gives the woman a firm nod. “Less of a type, more of a onetime thing?” Back in the day, Eren avoided men like Levi as if they were the Plague, come to think of it.

The woman considers him thoughtfully. “Lovebug got you good, didn’t it? My boy said the same thing. Played the whole ‘I swear I’m not into guys, it’s just him’ card on me. Not sure I believe him, but what the heck.”

“School crush?”

Barking out a laugh, the woman waves her rag. “Gosh, no. Both of them are in their mid thirties. At least, one of them is in his mid thirties. The other one’s slightly older.” The way she says _slightly_ makes Eren squint.

“Communication is always important, and I can’t stress this enough,” she continues, picking up another glass and rubbing it until it’s spotless. “Even when one member of the party ain’t much for talking, always get it out there. Repressing will only get you so far.”

“Thank you,” Eren says, because although he already knows this, it’s calming to hear someone actually say it.

“You two are pretty clean-cut to be crashing a joint like this.” This time, she sounds suspicious. “Better not be getting into any funny business.”

Eren straightens up. “Huh? No? We’re just passing through, ma’am.”

“You sure ‘bout that? Nothing funky under your sleeve? Witchcraft, hoodoo?”

Eren blinks, but has no time to answer when a hand grips the back of his shirt and tugs him off the stool. “He—Levi!”

Levi doesn’t let go, dragging him towards the bar’s doors.

Spilling out from the direction of the bathroom are four men, all of them menacing in their own way. Eren feels his stomach bottom out, desperately praying that the night won’t end in a fight. “What the hell did you…?”

“It’s okay, boys,” the woman calls out, waving her hand in a gesture for them to forget it. “They’re clean.”

Eren looks from the men, to the woman, and before he can twist to look at Levi, he gets hauled out into the humid night. “We’re leaving,” Levi announces, opening the driver’s side and shoving Eren inside. “Start the car.”

Without wasting another minute, Eren does as he’s told.

Once Levi is buckled up, Eren quickly pulls out of the gravel parking lot, driving well past the speeding limit. His palms feel clammy and his stomach is a little unsettled.

They didn’t pay for their drinks.

“What just happened?”

“Fuck if I know,” Levi spits out, a hand to his forehead. “One of those dickwads started _chanting in Latin._ Bunch of fucking creeps.”

It takes Eren an hour of driving before he cracks up laughing, Levi following suit with a set of drunken chuckles.

“We should steer clear of trucker bars for, like, ever.”

Levi hums, grinning as he lowers the window. “That we should.”

Eren drives into Nebraska, thankful to leave Iowa behind.

❖

**Nebraska.**

“I’m sorry for being an asshole.”

“You’re always an asshole.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry for being a drunken asshole,” Levi says, scoffing down his bacon. The hangover is obvious on his face.

Eren scoops half of his hash browns onto Levi’s plate.

“It’s cool. I’m just glad we weren’t offered as a sacrifice to whatever the hell was going on there.” The bar had felt hostile enough among entering, but the woman was kind. He had never expected the turn of events.

Three hours after the incident, Eren found the motel. Levi had fallen asleep, so he had to drag him to bed. Thankfully, the place isn’t roach infested, and lacks any mysterious stains on the bed covers. The diner across from it serves some pretty decent food, too.

Levi snatches a sausage from Eren’s plate. At least his appetite is back to normal.

“I don’t deserve you,” Levi says, his tone so casual, Eren momentarily thinks he’s talking to his breakfast.

“Not this again.”

Levi puts down his fork and reaches for his coffee. “Last night you thought I was going to pick someone up.”

Eren bows his head in shame. “Were you?” The question tastes sour, his monstrous hunger suddenly dying away.

For the longest time, only the clatter of silverware and the soft country music that drifts from the speakers is the only sound in the empty diner. It’s a sunny day, and the booth they sit in twinkles with ingrained glitter. The place itself is homely with its greaser theme and old photographs up on the walls.

“I thought about it,” Levi finally says, and he doesn’t look up from his plate.

Eren’s heart squeezes as his throat closes up. It could be worse, he tells himself. Levi could have gone through with it. Would he have done so if he hadn’t been interrupted?

“Is it always going to be like this?” The question is angrier than he had intended. Eren promised himself to not become upset, that Levi needed his space in order to spread his wings and become grounded. This isn’t about Eren’s needs, it’s about Levi’s.

Levi picks up his toast, only to put it down again. The hesitation makes Eren ill.

“I don’t want it to be,” he says. “I don’t want to be cornered again. This time around, I _will_ get up and walk away.”

Somehow, Eren understand that Levi doesn’t mean walking away from bars or picking up random strangers.

“You’re not a trophy,” Eren says, drumming his nails against the table top. He feels anxious and wound up. He wants to run. “You aren’t a prize, or a good lay.”

“What am I, then?”

Eren opens his mouth to answer, but stops himself. Answering the question could go either way, but the truth is, there is no possible way to answer that. For all the time they have spent together, Eren doesn’t know the man enough to put a title on him.

Better said, Eren does know him, far too much for the small amount of time they’ve known each other, and therefore it is impossible for him to condense Levi into a series of words. It would be like catching a hurricane inside a glass jar.

Eventually, Eren shakes his head.

Levi nods and turns back to his coffee.

“Sorry I’m not your type,” Eren says instead. “I’m sorry I’m not buff, blonde and handsome, or some prince that can make everything better with a wish. I’m just a kid trying on adult shoes and I ended up biting off more than I could chew. What I did…”

“Not again, Eren. We’ve already talked about this.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re here because of me.”

“It takes two to tango, kid. We’re both at fault.”

“I should have bailed on the Christmas party.”

“Then we would have messed around on New Year’s Eve,” Levi says, putting down the mug. “No use in bothering with the what-ifs. Move past it. We fucked up, we’re here, and now all that’s left to do is figure out where we’re going.”

“Wouldn’t you have done things differently?”

“Yes,” he says without missing a beat. Eren flinches. “I should have pulled the trigger when I put that gun to my head when I was fourteen. I should have upped the heroine dosage the night before graduation. I should have slept with Hanji, or with Mike, married Petra – there’s so many things I should have fucking done and I didn’t. Why? Because I fucking chose not to. This? I chose this. Nobody held me at gunpoint. Erwin didn’t kick me out, I chose to walk out. I chose to fucking end it. I chose to get in my car and drive to your place, drag you along into this shitfest. I chose you because the only thing I didn’t choose was to fall in love with you, and there’s no fucking use fighting against that.”

Another pregnant silence follows.

“Will this come and bite me in the ass? Most likely. You’re young and handsome, charismatic and charming despite your shitty attitude. You have a whole life ahead of you, and you don’t let the darkness of your past consume you. What guarantees me that some California bombshell will walk by and that you won’t chase after them? Or what if you get pissed drunk and go home with someone that isn’t me? Absolutely nothing is what. Maybe, in the future, I’ll be forced to reminisce and it will taste just as bitter as Erwin’s name does now, but I’m not strapping myself to the maybes. Right now, you’re sitting in front of me, so I’ll worry about you. Deal with it and man the fuck up, already.”

Levi runs a hand over his mouth.

“And I guess that goes for me, too,” he continues, leaning back with a sigh. “Any way of living is easy to achieve when you frequently lie to yourself about everything. I lied to myself that one day I would miraculously be happy, and every day I opened my eyes with the hope that said miracle would come knocking. But there aren’t any miracles, and you gotta work for shit yourself.”

Eren can only stare, taking in Levi’s rant and submitting it to memory. There’s beauty in the way Levi opens up and just pours himself out, heart bleeding in his hands.

“So,” Eren says, and despite how low he keeps his tone, it sounds booming. “Now we figure out where we’re going?” At Levi’s firm nod, Eren places his hands over his lap and laces his fingers together. “Are you really in love with me?”

Blue-gray eyes remain trained on the empty coffee mug. “I don’t like repeating myself.”

“Tough shit,” Eren snaps, narrowing his eyes. The lady’s words ring loud and clear in his head. “I’ve told you that I love you, and I don’t want you to lie to me. I won’t walk out on you if you don’t, because my feelings are my own damn problem, and I won’t turn you away just because you don’t feel the same. But I need to know. Just… you don’t even have to say it, just nod your damn head or something.”

Eren is aware that he’s asking for too much, that he’s pushing for something that shouldn’t be pushed, but a childish side of him wants a definitive answer, something to hold on to. Eren wants a reason to keep his chin up whenever Levi fucks up, a reason to keep himself from fucking up.

“I do,” Levi says, and he’s finally looking up at Eren with cool eyes. “It takes more than pretty eyes and good sex to sway me, Eren, and you knocked me right off my fucking feet.” Combing hair out of his eyes, Levi takes a steady breath. “I really am in love with you.”

Eren’s eyes sting with the beginning of tears, but he holds them back. He nods his head. “So, we’re in love with each other.”

“That would seem to be the situation,” Levi says, gesturing the waitress for a refill. “It’s up to you as to where you want to take this.”

The weight of it crashes down on Eren’s shoulders. “I don’t know what to say.” They can’t really jump into a relationship when Levi ended his own a matter of days ago. The emotions are far too raw still, and Eren doesn’t want to cause any unnecessary friction.

“No need to rush,” Levi says.

They fall silent when the waitress comes over to refill both their mugs.

The idea of sitting behind the wheel of a new relationship leaves Eren feeling like a nervous wreck. There are so many things that could go wrong, and when they do, it’ll be his fault for driving down the wrong road. But Levi is right. Eren has never been one to worry about the far future, why start now? At this point in time, he is sitting in a diner in Nebraska, having breakfast with Levi, and that is all that matter. 

This is the starting point, the road is long, so he might as well make the best of it.

“You plan on staying here much longer?” Eren says. He likes to pretend that every argument stays in the state it occurs, so the closer they get to California, the lighter their baggage becomes. The more they drive, the closer they’ll become.

Levi is already dabbing his mouth clean and covering his plate with a napkin. “The stretch to Utah is going to be long as fuck. We should head out as soon as possible.” He gets up, pulling out his wallet. He keeps ringing up his company card without a care.

Pulling out his own wallet to tip the waitress, Eren fishes for the Camaro’s keys, and throws them at Levi once they’re outside. “Your turn to drive.”

❖

**Wyoming.**

Eren wakes up to the sound of cursing and the incessant glare of the sun.

The Camaro’s roof has been pulled down, and while Eren expects a dry breeze, he finds that they aren’t moving. Instead, the car is parked on a seemingly endless strip of road, with nothing but cracked earth expanding for miles on either side. Aside from the two of them, there isn’t a single soul for miles.

Sitting up, Eren frowns at the crick in his neck, having fallen asleep at an awkward angle. He rubs sleep from his eyes, scowls at the horrible taste in his mouth, and blinks dumbly at the tirade Levi seems to be unleashing at nothing.

He can’t hear what it is he’s saying, and it takes him a moment to realize that he’s actually on the phone. Eren needs no further explanation.

Seeing Levi walk back and forth, a hand waving agitatedly as he yells is something to behold, and it would be funny if isn’t so terrifying. He almost feels bad for the person on the other end of the line, but assuming that it’s Erwin, he doesn’t.

He really should let it go.

There’s a surprising moment when Levi stops and turns into his usual composed self so quickly, it’s as if someone has hit a switch. But the ruse is short-lived, because in a matter of seconds, Levi is flinging his cell phone so far across the barren field, Eren wonders why he’s never played baseball. The distance the phone zips across is remarkable.

Eren gets out of the car to sit on the hood, patiently watching Levi from a safe distance.

He’s calmer now, and seems to be staring aimlessly at the sky, as if he’s had some sort of epiphany. He turns his head in the direction in which he flung his phone, and then shakes it. The jacket is missing, Eren realizes, and it’s with good reason. It’s hellishly hot.

Levi turns around and doesn’t seem troubled when he spots Eren.

He doesn’t say anything as he walks towards him, stands within an arm’s reach. His cheeks are pink and his eyes stormy, hair a disarrayed mess. Levi is still shifting into place, which means another wave is coming. Eren braces himself.

It never comes.

They stand there for so long Eren fears he’ll get a heat stroke. “You could have just taken out the chip. That phone’s probably worth a month’s salary.”

Levi clicks his tongue. “Ask if I give a shit.”

“Do you give a shit?” Eren says, just to be a brat.

Levi pulls a face, but answers anyway. “No.”

“Was it Erwin?”

Releasing a measured exhale, Levi moves to sit next Eren on the hood. “Yes.”

Eren nods his head, staring down at his dirty shoes. “Took him long enough.”

“He called to ask when we planned on coming back,” Levi says, sounding insulted. “That was it. He actually had the balls to call for something so insignificant.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“I told him to fuck off.”

Eren winces. “I’m sure Erwin’s a good guy and all, but even he has his limits, you know? How far can you push before he demotes you?”

“He can keep the job, for all I care.”

The finality with which he says it chills Eren to the bone. “You’re not quitting… are you?”

“I quit the moment we left New York.”

“Levi!” Eren’s eyes widen, unbelieving. “How could you? I mean, dude, you were _made_ at Sina!”

“There’s dozens of other people who would kill for the weight I had to carry. Let them battle it out. I’m done. I’d rather work at some café at minimum wage.”

Eren feels compelled to punch him. “I can’t believe you.”

“I refuse to be his pawn anymore,” Levi says, looking at Eren. “This world is simple enough. My job is done, time for me to retire.”

Fuming, Eren crosses his arms over his chest. Dumping his fiancé is one thing, but quitting a job plenty would kill for is something else – something incredibly fucking stupid. “That’s it, then? Kiss your retirement plan goodbye? Live off minimum and get yourself a shitty ass apartment?”

Levi smiles.

It’s so unexpected that Eren’s argument dies on the tip of his tongue.

Something different manifests around the edges of Levi’s stoic face. Minimal changes like the shift at the corner of his eyes, or the easing of the muscles on his neck. There’s peace. Levi has made peace with himself, and while there may be no difference to anyone who doesn’t know him well enough, Eren can see it clear as day.

“Would that really be so bad?” he says, voice deceptively neutral. “I’ll take the boring ass routine. I’ll take the domesticity and the lack of excitement. I want to live in an eventless world where I know that Erd and the others will be okay whenever I get back.”

Eren frowns at him, mildly taken aback by how uncommon a confession it is, especially for Levi. “Why wouldn’t they be okay?”

“I can deal with not being Sina’s poster boy, Eren. There are worse things than not driving a Mercedes and not getting invited to parties with a bunch of corporate assholes.”

“Okay,” Eren says, trying not to sound troubled. “Like what?”

Levi goes to answer, but doesn’t. His face twists into something sad, before turning into a look of acceptance. Eyes shining in the sinking sunlight, Levi nods, breathes in, then nods again. Eren wants to say that he’s scaring him more than usual, but refrains from doing so. Whatever is going on, whatever mental breakdown Levi is currently partaking in, Eren figures is all an important part of his healing process.

“Shitty brat,” Levi answers instead, slipping off the hood in order to sit between Eren’s knees.

Confused beyond reason, Eren tentatively wraps his arms around Levi’s middle, and rests his chin over his shoulder.

“You okay there?” he says, pressing a kiss to Levi’s ear. “It’s as if you and Hanji switched bodies for a moment.”

Levi hums. “Mild existential crisis has been averted.”

“I don’t think this qualifies as averted,” Eren says, wryly. “But I guess you’re kinda right. Things could be infinitely worse.”

Eren’s stomach rumbles, reminding him that he hasn’t eaten since leaving Nebraska this morning. Luckily, there are bags of chips in the backseat. They could probably use some extra salt in this heat.

Ready to write off the incident as something caused by said heat, Eren nibbles on Levi’s ear and takes his hands in his own. He playfully holds them out, wanting to get a rise out of him, but Levi doesn’t snap or yell. The man simply leans back into Eren’s chest.

Eren rolls his eyes. “I’ll be your wings,” he says sarcastically, before dropping Levi’s arms.

“My wings of freedom.”

The words are nearly mumbled, and Eren leans in again, this time with a snort. “How poetic.”

Levi flips him off, and at least it’s something a little more like him.

Eren shoves him away when the hood beneath him gets far too hot to handle. “I hope you didn’t throw away the map,” he says, staring at Levi out of the corner of his eye as he takes his place behind the wheel. The next motel is a good six hours away, and he’s already had his nap. “You know, since we don’t have GPS now.”

“You’ve got a phone.”

“Yeah, but I rarely get any signal when I’m out in the middle of nowhere.”

Levi gets in, looking severely unimpressed. Eren never expected that there would be a day when such an expression would bring internal peace.

“Trust you to be incompetent.”

Eren grins. “That’s more like it, Captain.”

Turning the ignition, he eases back into the road.

“Don’t call me that,” Levi says, settling into his seat.

Eren casts him a quick look. “Call you what?”

The silence lasts so long, Eren forgets he even asked a question when Levi answers with a “Never mind.”

❖

**Utah.**

The breath of normalcy tastes sweet on Eren’s tongue, even when he and Levi huddle in the backseat of the Camaro, roof down. Hundreds of stars twinkle in the endless black sky, keeping the fat moon company as it spills its light over the rocky terrain.

Bluegrass drifts from the radio, the calming strum of a guitar inviting Eren to shut his eyes and lose himself in the simplicity of the night. Just above it is the sound of roaring winds that dance through red canyons, the only warning they’re getting for the oncoming storm, even in the absence of clouds.

Levi has gone back to being his quiet self during the past several hours, and Eren is unsure whether he treasures his detachedness or loathes it. A part of him enjoyed the emotional man who spoke gibberish a matter of hours ago.

Either way, Eren is glad that Levi doesn’t shove him off when he clings to his side whenever the winds howl louder. The night feels eerie around them, and he secretly fears that a tornado will come and swoop them away.

A banjo and sets of clapping hands join in the song, but it does little to assuage Eren’s nerves. Levi’s hand stroking his back, however, does wonders.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Levi says, most likely sensing the tension along his shoulders. “We can keep driving, if you want.”

Eren shakes his head. Even with the menacing winds, Eren feels relatively safe in Levi’s arms. “Can we stay a little longer?” Mostly, he wants to bask in moments such as these, where it’s just the two of them, communicating without the need for words.

Levi hums his approval. “Just don’t shit your pants if you see a funnel.”

“That’s not funny.” Long fingers tap against Eren’s back to the beat of the song. “Never pinned you for someone who likes country music.”

“Some of it is bearable.”

“Mom and I used to watch Bonanza,” Eren says, opening his eyes to stare at his hand over Levi’s chest. “Country music kind of reminds me of her.”

“What’s her name?” Levi’s sights are still trained on the starry sky.

The thought of Levi talking about his mom makes his heart squeeze with an entirely different sense of affection. “Carla,” he says. “Everyone says I got her eyes.”

“If that’s the case,” Levi says, his voice soft and drowned by the wind. “She must be beautiful.”

Eren’s eyes water. Hiding his face against Levi’s shirt, he laughs, the sound of it nostalgic to his own ears. “I have an album back home. Armin should have some photos of when we were younger… I’m sure she’s in some of them.”

Levi turns his head to look at Eren, and he cannot – for the life of him – get over the tenderness he sees in those steely eyes. “I’d really like to see those.”

It would be the equivalent of sharing embarrassing childhood stories, but Eren doesn’t really mind. Sharing the memories of his mother, however brief, is something Eren saves for those he truly holds dear to his heart. Somehow, that solidifies Levi’s presence in Eren’s life.

“We should take a detour,” Eren says.

They’re only a day’s drive away from California, and something inside of Eren announces that it isn’t ready to end this road trip just yet. What needs to be said has been said, in part, but something is still missing. The relationship between them is still tumultuous despite the long hours spent communicating, building and patching up the strains.

“Vegas?”

“I was thinking something quieter, maybe,” he says, afraid of sounding silly.

A particularly harsh gust of wind shakes the car, and Eren clings a little tighter.

“A hotel with a pool,” Levi says, moving up his hand to play with Eren’s hair. “It’s fucking hot here.”

Eren takes a deep breath, happy at the absence of ridicule. “And good food. Preferably pizza.”

Somberly nodding his head, Levi adds, “And sex.”

The corner of Eren’s mouth twitches. “Great sex.”

“All-day-long sex,” Levi says, as if that alone is more important than the air they breathe.

Eren gives him a full-out grin. “Sounds like a plan.”

❖

**Nevada.**

For all of the crazy things Eren has done during sex in the madness of his youth, this is something he has only ever fantasized about. Aware of the difference between porn and reality, Eren made sure to keep his partners comfortable in every given situation. The whole BDSM scene seemed too hardcore to practice in real life, even when becoming aware that people do partake in it and can be done healthily.

Levi isn’t into it, per se, but he does confess that the idea of being under another person’s control excites him. It’s all about trust, he said, about knowing that your partner won’t harm you while relieving you from the weight of everything.

When they arrived at the hotel last night, Levi made a list of things he would like for Eren to do. Blame it on sleep deprivation, but Eren had gotten hard just reading the things Levi wrote in his fancy script.

Now, fresh from the shower after a morning of lounging lazily in the pool, they stand in each other’s presence, fidgeting with nervous energy.

Sitting on the end of the bed, hands on Levi’s hips when he stands between Eren’s knees, they kiss long and slow, prolonging the beginning of Levi’s not-so-little fantasy. Eren lets his hands roam the cool, naked skin on display before him. Only he had bothered with clothing after their shower, and Levi had remarked that he liked it, the act of being completely nude while Eren is fully clothed.

The first segment of their ‘scene’, if one would call this that, is punishment. Levi’s request included rewriting the way his body recognizes touch, and to do so, he asked Eren to purge him of the history of phantom bruises and marks left behind by others other than Eren himself. The wish is complicated, especially when Levi asked if Eren would hit him.

He needs to atone, was Levi’s excuse. Eren absolved him with a kiss, and told him to move on. He does.

The idea of punishment turns slightly easier to swallow when Levi gives him another route. But first…

“Your orders,” Levi says, his gaze similar to that of a commanding officer being forced to submit to his subordinate. “Sir?” That last word almost makes Eren roll his eyes.

“On your knees, hands on your thighs.” It’s difficult to keep his words measured. They waver at the mere thought of calling the shots.

Levi does as he’s told, moving with elegance and a pride that’s difficult to crush. He keeps his eyes on Eren’s, the heaviness in them turning Eren on.

Back straight, Eren clears his throat as he lets himself admire the beauty that is strictly Levi’s. From the sharp sides of his face, the chiseled muscles of his chest and stomach, to the thickness of his neck and arms. The coiled up power behind his thighs is something Eren knows well. Even the sight of his flaccid cock fills Eren with an overwhelming sense of lust.

Reaching out, Eren hooks his fingers underneath Levi’s chin, drags a thumb across the seam of his lips. “Suck,” he says breathlessly, before unceremoniously shoving two fingers into Levi’s mouth.

He stretches his lips, pinches his tongue as it twirls between his fingers, getting them soaked enough for what’s to come. Pulling them out, Eren gestures with his head for Levi to get up.

Scooting back on the bed, Levi straddles his hips. He uses his hands to reach back and take a firm hold of his ass cheeks, parting them for Eren. The position is so vulnerable, Eren can feel his cock swell at the sight.

Without wasting much time, Eren pushes in a finger. He watches Levi’s face closely for any hint of discomfort, and unfortunately, that’s all he sees. One of the items on the list was to be prepared crudely for Levi to feel the ache and burn, but all it’s doing is causing Eren’s stomach to twist into knots.

Testing how far he can go, Eren slowly pushes in another spit-slicked finger. It’s uncomfortable, and judging by the way Levi’s eyebrows knit in utter concentration, he isn’t the only one to think so.

“I’m getting us some lube,” Eren says, pulling out his fingers.

“No.”

“Please?”

Levi stares down at him with a suffering look. “You’re not the one that’s supposed to be begging, Eren.”

“I told you I’d be a terrible dominant, so shut up.”

There’s a moment in which Levi just glares at him. “Fine,” he says, getting off the bed to grab a tube from their bag. “We still have a long drive ahead of us, so might as well.” Shoving the tube into Eren’s hand, he retakes his position, with a knee on either side of Eren’s thighs. “Hurry up the fuck up, I want to take that monstrous cock of yours.”

“You’ll take it when I say so,” Eren retorts, trying to fall back into character, and failing. He’s used to dirty talking Levi, but this is something new. Thankfully, Levi hums in approval.

Eren tries again, this time with the aid of plenty of lube.

Mild discomfort touches Levi’s face, but it eventually melts into something else. Levi’s hips move minutely, and his face is soft with pleasure by the time Eren is fucking him with four fingers. He rubs at the hot walls of muscle every now and again, if only to alleviate the stretch.

Eren knows when he’s found Levi prostate when the man leans towards him, arms around Eren’s shoulders and holding him tight as his hips thrust in barely controlled movements. He sighs, humming out his pleasure beside Eren’s ear.

“Don’t touch me,” Eren says, and Levi immediately pulls back to kneeling, hands on his thighs.

After breakfast, the two of them made a pit stop at an adult store. What had been a trip for lube ended up becoming a trip for a wide variety of things they probably won’t even need. But at least Levi finally got his cock ring. Eren is ready to bet the man isn’t as happy now that it’s been put on him.

“Your punishment will be that you won’t get to come until I say so,” he says, stroking Levi’s cock until it’s fully erect. “Do you understand?”

Levi licks his lips as he looks down at himself, awfully pleased at the thought of having his own orgasm denied to him. “Yes.”

“Good,” Eren says, going back to toying with Levi’s hole. He runs the tip of his finger along the rim, before dragging said finger across his perineum and palming at his balls. “Now I’m going to play with you.”

The shiver that takes Levi’s body is stunning.

“I’m not going to fuck you yet, though. That’s gonna be your reward if you’re good.” He gives Levi’s cock a single stroke, relishing the hot fatness of it.

Levi’s nails are digging half moons into his thighs as he struggles to keep himself still.

Punishment over, it’s now time to play.

Eren grabs Levi by the biceps, earning himself a surprised gasp that is music to Eren’s ears. He flings him onto his back, and efficiently drags him up the bed until his head meets the pillows.

Levi’s eyes are wide, almost bordering on wild as he keeps himself from moving a muscle. “That was fucking sexy,” he says, uncharacteristically stunned.

“There’s more where that came from,” Eren says with a grin. “Don’t move.” He doesn’t wait for Levi to say anything before getting off the bed.

Bringing their bag of sex-related purchases with him, Eren dumps them onto the mattress for easier access. He picks through the items, debating which they should use. Mentally going through Levi’s list, Eren pulls out a pair of thick leather cuffs, a collar, a blindfold, and a tiny, egg-shaped vibrator. He debates whether to use the gag or not, but Eren decides that he would rather hear every single noise that Levi has to offer.

“Hands.” Levi gives up his hands with a surprisingly coy look. Eren fastens the cuffs before tying them to the headboard, much like Levi had done to him on the first night they shared. “Comfy?”

Tugging, Levi nods.

Eren scoots back to admire a bound Levi, and his stomach turns to butterflies. Not only does he look beautiful this way, but the idea behind the act fills Eren with a unique sense of love. Levi trusts him, and that alone is satisfying enough.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Levi says, licking his lips coquettishly. Eren follows his gaze, and grins.

He moves without further explanation, grabbing the leather collar.

Levi lifts his head for Eren to clip it on.

The contrast of black leather against pale skin is stunning, and Eren can’t help the kiss he presses where fabric meets skin. Reaching back for the blindfold, he waits for Levi’s nod before tying into place.

“How’re we feeling?” Eren says, kissing his way down Levi’s chest.

He can see Levi flex his fingers and adjust his hips, making himself comfortable as best as he can. “I’m good.”

Eren strokes himself through his pants, delighted by the sight. Dozens of ideas course through his head, but he chooses to keep things simple. He reaches for the remote controlled vibrator, and is grateful for having put in the batteries before they even began.

Testing the speeds against his own clothed erection, Eren spends a moment debating on what to do with it. A part of him just wants to use it on himself, but Levi is too much of a temptation. His slick hole is asking to be filled, and unable to fuck Levi just yet, Eren goes for the next best thing.

Levi tenses at the intrusion, but instantly relaxes when he realizes what it is. Eren drops a kiss onto the cock resting on his stomach before pushing the small vibrator all the way in.

He starts it off slow, earning him a hum from Levi, but with every increase of vibration, the more vocal the man gets. He doesn’t squirm, managing to keep himself completely still, but he does moan softly.

Leaving it on, Eren sets the remote to the side and watches Levi’s cock twitch and jerk, his stomach moving with the effort to not move. The sight is so goddamned gorgeous, Eren could cry.

After a moment of admiration, Eren gets to it.

He has no fucking clue as to how one plays with someone, but he figures it has something to do with teasing, which is something familiar. Levi likes to be teased, so it can’t be much different.

Taking hold of Levi’s foot, Eren presses a kiss to the heel. When no complaint comes, Eren continues. He presses kisses and sucks bruises all the way up Levi’s legs, making sure to devote special attention to the back of Levi’s knees. Eren bites along Levi’s inner thighs, presses his tongue around the base of his cock but doesn’t touch the engorged member.

Eren takes his time lavishing Levi’s hipbones with attention, because that dangerous V is far too much for Eren to handle. He nibbles and nips along the fleshy bit underneath the navel, and this causes Levi to gasp.

Minutes stretch on as Eren worships every single inch of delicate skin that has gone rosy from the sun. He tickles Levi’s hips, and it almost makes the man giggle. _Almost._ Eren kisses his hands, holding them tenderly and toying with those beautifully long fingers meant to be taken to a piano rather than an office computer. Forearms, elbow, bicep and shoulder; Eren eventually makes it to the collarbones where he bites and leaves red marks that eventually turn black and blue.

Neck, jaw, cheek, ears, mouth, nose, blindfold.

By the time Eren presses one more kiss to Levi’s forehead, he’s but a quivering mess against the white sheets of their bed. A hand toying with an erect nipple, Eren lowers himself to whisper beside Levi’s ear. “You should see how hard you are, Levi. That has to be painful.”

Levi doesn’t rise to the bait. His jaw clenches, and the shift is mesmerizing.

“Do you want me reward you? I guess you’ve been good, even if you haven’t let me hear you.” Eren feels like a moron. It sounds sexier in his head, but once it’s out his mouth, it’s the most embarrassing shit ever. “So how ‘bout it? Let me hear you and I’ll fuck you senseless, yeah?”

This time, Levi’s breathing hitches.

“Come _on_ ,” Eren says, and he’s sure this officially qualifies as whining. He can imagine Levi’s glare behind the blindfold. “Work with me here.”

“You pretty much just took the award for World’s Shittiest Dom,” Levi says, and for all that is holy he sounds positively _wrecked_. Eren can’t help palming himself.

“That’s because I’m not a dom,” Eren grumbles. “I can top, but I don’t know shit about giving orders or whatever it is submissives get off on. Like _you’re_ a sub.” Which Levi isn’t. The terminology is still very confusing.

“What the fuck ever, Eren. Just get on with it.” Eren pouts. “And don’t fucking pout during sex unless it’s to disarm your partner.”

Eren is unsure whether to marvel at how well Levi knows him, or to be disappointed over being this predictable. “Is it working? Am I disarming you?” Levi sighs, and it’s hard not to chuckle. “I’m joking. One reward coming right up.”

Bending over Levi’s lap, Eren runs the tip of his tongue along the underside of Levi’s cock.

And _those_ are the sounds Eren has wanted to hear.

Sucking on the tip, Eren hums in delight at the utter filth that rips itself out of Levi’s mouth. The profanities may be one thing, however, but nothing can compare to the throaty whines that come out broken and aborted.

A well accented “Fuck you” is all that Levi manages when Eren lets the heavy cock fall from his mouth with a sloppy pop. “I know you’re fucking grinning, and fuck you for that.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Eren nods his head even though Levi can’t see him.

He does quick work removing his clothing, giving his cock a few strokes before reaching for the lube.

Eren lowers the vibration settings before gingerly pulling out the bullet. He stares in fascination at how Levi’s hole clenches, hungry for more. Not one to leave others high and dry, Eren teases the ring of muscle with the tip of a finger.

From the head of the bed comes a hiss, and Eren looks up to see Levi’s mouth twisted into a frown. “What is it?” he asks, pulling away in case he’s causing any kind of pain.

Levi shakes his head.

“That sounded like something,” Eren presses. In any other situation, he would have let it pass. “Tell me or I’ll leave you like this.”

Levi stills, but then sags. “Since you lack the creativity, I was going to tell you to put the vibrator to my dick.”

It’s Eren’s turn to frown. That can’t possibly feel good, not when Levi’s dick already looks like it’s been pushed well over the edge. Overstimulation is something Eren avoids by any means necessary, and having Levi asking for it puts him off. Then again, some of the items on his list are well out of Eren’s comfort zone, so some overstimulation is fairly mild.

Turning it on to the lowest speed, Eren fumbles with how he should place it to Levi’s cock. He eventually decides on setting it at the base, right beside the cock ring. “Is this okay?”

Open-mouthed, it takes him a few tries, but Levi eventually rasps out a “Yes”.

Pouring copious amounts of lubricant onto his cock, and hissing at how cold it feels, Eren gets himself ready. He keeps his eyes on Levi the entire time, mapping out the flawless slopes and dips of his body, nearly vibrating with complete joy at the fact that he will be inside him soon enough. Levi knows his body down to the most intimate corner, and now it’s Eren’s turn.

Biting his bottom lip, Eren makes his presence known by teasingly prodding at Levi’s entrance with the tip of his cock. He takes a moment, dragging himself along the perineum, snagging at the balls and aligning their cocks, the vibration making Eren shudder. Sliding back, Eren positions himself, and gently strokes Levi’s hip.

All the while, Levi remains quiet, his breathing erratic, until Eren pushes in.

His body instantly tenses as he grunts, and Eren stops without a thought.

“I don’t think four fucking fingers were enough,” Levi says, pulling at his cuffs.

Eren mumbles an apology, before pushing in, inch by agonizing inch.

Levi is a complete champ, urging Eren on through gritted teeth. Despite his attempts to relax, it’s a hard thing to do for an innumerable amount of reasons. Eren tries his best to keep his mind off the burn by directing his attention elsewhere, touching and kissing along Levi’s sensitive areas.

Even when fully seated, it takes them both a moment of complete stillness before either of them can talk.

“You can shut it off,” Levi says, and Eren has no idea how he can still sound so neutral, even through the hitching of his breath.

Eren shuts off the vibrator and casts it to the side. “Everything okay?” he asks for about the nth time in half an hour.

Levi grunts. “Your dick’s too fucking huge.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he says, and his voice wavers. “It feels fucking amazing.” Nudging his hips, Levi gasps. “So stuffed.”

And that he is. The tight heat is so unbearable, Eren could write bittersweet symphonies about it. It takes every ounce of willpower in him not to recklessly fuck into Levi. “Can I move?”

Levi adjusts his legs, bringing one of them up to hook on Eren’s shoulder. He misses, and Eren helps. In turn, Eren repositions himself for better purchase, but Levi is talking again. “I want you to kiss me.”

Leg awkwardly propped up, Eren knits his eyebrows. “Now?”

There’s a short silence before Levi nods. “While you fuck me.”

Eren takes a moment to consider the odd and overly-dramatic words. Levi is rarely one for romanticism. “Okay,” he says. “I can do that.”

Grabbing hold of Levi’s other knee, Eren is once again baffled by his flexibility. He lifts his ass but still Eren doesn’t thrust, just keeps himself steady while dabbing his mouth to Levi’s. It’s easier than when Levi does it, but then again, there’s a height difference to consider.

Once Eren lets go of Levi’s tongue, he whispers, “Now you can fuck me senseless.”

“Only if you tell me who you belong to,” Eren says in a moment of bravery inspired by passion.

This close, he can see the flush on Levi’s face, how wet and swollen his lips are. The same lips that morph into a sweet smile that melts the heart right out of him. “Only yours, Eren.”

Eren moans, crashing their mouths together as he pulls out, only to slam himself in. Levi’s mouth rips away from his to let go of a cry, but Eren is there again, eating away all of the sinful noises.

Finding a pace and sticking to it, Eren drinks in the way Levi squirms, throws his head back with loud yells for more, growling out Eren’s name and ordering him to fuck him harder. His entire body trembles and jolts as Eren thrusts into the delirious heat of his ass.

A matter of days ago, Eren had been shown the full potential of Levi surrendered to his pleasure, and to be the one giving it to him is something he can’t wrap his mind around. Levi is absolutely stunning when his walls are down, when he has no need to hide behind the mask of authority and detachedness. Levi feels too much, too often, and seeing it pour out in a moment like this is breathtaking.

Eren kisses him again, focusing less on speed and more on the depth of his thrusts, making the bed rock with them every time his balls slap against that perfect ass. He holds his knees apart, humps Levi like a dog in heat, and it’s hard to keep himself in check when Levi is calling out for him as if he were something sacred.

“Come on. Come _on_ , give me all you’ve got. I know you can give me more, Eren. Give me fucking everything – break me, sa…” the word dies away, but Eren catches it. “Lo… m-me… _shit!_ ”

There are some things, it would seem, that not even the high of sex grants Levi the liberty to ask for.

Releasing a leg, Eren opts instead to cupping Levi’s cheek, kissing him on the mouth. “I will,” he hears himself whisper. “I won’t let you fall. I won’t let you die. I’ll be right here, Levi. I… I – f-fuck, yes… _Captain…!_ ”

“Please, Eren,” Levi begs, voice so raw and breathy it’s hard to recognize as his own. “Let me come.”

Mouths latched once more, Eren single handedly unclasps the cock ring, taking the hard shaft and pumping in tune with the frantic bucking of his hips. He pushes himself harder, faster, deeper, until he’s sure his legs have gone numb.

Levi’s back is arched off the bed, head thrown back and mouth open in a silent yell in a sea of whimpers and moans. He still manages to beg for more, pride and self-restraint cast to the wind in favor of being rendered completely and utterly undone.

“Eren, I – oh, fucking, going to—”

Eren’s thoughts blank out for a brief second, wondering what he should do to bring Levi over the edge. He draws up nothing, so he quickly removes the blindfold.

Bleary eyes gaze up at him, and there isn’t a hint of blue-gray in them. Levi looks intoxicated, thoroughly fucked out as he pants, toeing the line of orgasm.

“That’s it, sir, go ahead. Come for me, yeah? Only for me. Only ever for fucking me.” Eren accentuates each of his words with a ruthless thrust, growling out with overwhelming hunger. “Nobody gets to touch you but me.” Another harsh shove, and this one gets Levi to cry out.

“Then claim me again,” Levi says. “Let everyone know. Let them… god, yes… let them know that I’m—….!”

Levi’s body lurches as Eren’s hand flies over his cock, and the stickiness in his hand comes accompanied by the most obscene sound Eren has ever heard. That alone pushes him over the edge with nothing but Levi’s name on his lips, and the knowledge that he belongs only to him.

❖

Taking a bottle of water to Levi’s lips, Eren doesn’t bother catching the drops that dribble down the corner of his mouth. He then moves to release the cuffs from the headboard.

“We’re gonna need some triple antibiotic for this,” Eren says with a frown, cautiously loosening the straps and gently removing them. Their edges, despite being designed to not chafe, have left Levi’s wrists raw. “Shit.”

Levi hums, apparently too blissed out to give a fuck. He’s smiling like a damn goon and Eren is unsure whether to be amused or creeped out. Had he known a good fuck would get that stick out of Levi’s ass, he would have done so ages ago.

“I think there’s a pharmacy across the street,” Levi says, twisting his wrists and letting them fall onto his sweaty chest. “I need a fucking shower.”

Eren agrees. “And food.”

“And round two. I top, though. I don’t think my ass can handle the abuse.”

“You asked for it.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it, brat,” he says, and reaches up to flick Eren’s nose. “You never seize to amaze me.” He isn’t being sarcastic for once. “I supposed I should thank you, as well.”

Eren lifts an eyebrow. “What the hell for?”

Levi’s eyes are steady on him, and the same hand that flicked Eren’s nose pulls him down onto the bed. Eren shifts until he’s lying on his side, messily draped over Levi.

“You want me to write you another list? Don’t think I could sound it off even if I tried.”

“No more lists. I’ve got enough on my plate, thanks.”

Pressing a kiss to Eren’s head, Levi too turns to lie on his side, facing Eren. Their legs tangle together, cold feet tickling each others’. “I needed that,” Levi confesses.

Sometimes Eren still wonders at how they got to this point. The naked trust between them goes beyond reason. “I understand,” he says, tapping his fingers to Levi’s chin.

Levi had asked to be rewritten, to erase the remnants of a past fling and make him addicted to Eren’s touch instead. The stakes were high and the expectations were suffocating, but Eren managed to buoy long enough to reach him. Even in the dim lighting of the hotel room, he can see the countless bruises he left along Levi’s body – his claim.

This isn’t makeup sex, but it somehow is. They may not have fought, but the two of them have been out of place in each other’s life for days. By this point, it feels like the base of their stability has been set: emotionally, mentally, and physically. Now the two of them can work towards building a healthy relationship. No more hysterical breakdowns in the middle of the road, or bizarre requests to be punished during sex.

Eren and Levi are standing at the very beginning, and it’s a painfully scary thought.

Levi kisses him.

Eren squeezes his hand.

“My head hurts,” Eren says, eventually, when his eyes begin to droop closed. He keeps fighting sleep because he doesn’t want to take his eyes off this softer Levi, and in turn his temples are starting to ache.

It will take a while getting used to, Eren knowing that Levi isn’t going anywhere. That he could sleep for days, and when he opens his eyes, Levi will be there, barking at him to get his lazy ass up and shower.

“Go to sleep, Eren,” Levi says, as always so attuned to Eren’s thoughts. “We can crash Vegas tonight. Have us a fancy dinner, catch a show, the whole nine yards.”

“Get smashed and wake up married?”

“You’re gonna need a lot of whiskey.”

Eren smiles, squeezes Levi’s hand one more time, and shuts his eyes. “Deal.”

❖

**California.**

With a hangover, an extra three hundred dollars, and no wedding ring, they cross the state line into California.

Levi’s level of skill when it comes to gambling isn’t really surprising, not with a pokerface like his.

The trip took them three days more than expected, and Eren has no idea how he’s going to make it back to New York on time.

Part of him is certain that he won’t want to leave once he gets Mikasa and Armin within arm’s reach. He considers calling Historia, ask for an extension, but he doesn’t want to break the unreal bubble he and Levi have been living in during this past week. Or he could request a transfer. But doing so will require Erwin’s Smith signature, and Eren is far too ashamed to even think about the man.

Last night was a game changer.

Wasted and satisfied after a quick celebratory fuck in their hotel room, Eren fell into dreams that disturbed him beyond reason. The blood and death weren’t all that bad, considering that he’s dreamed about the same thing since he was nine. PTSD, the psychiatrists had told the Ackermans. But this was different. He recognized the faces as those from his childhood.

He recognized Erwin, an arm missing, enraged by the reality of it all.

He recognized Levi, a patch over his left eye, tired of it all.

Aware that time in dreams runs differently than it does while awake, he still thinks that it’s impossible to weave an entire life in just four hours of deep sleep.

The conviction he feels is far too strong, but conviction of what, Eren has no idea.

Maybe those countless hours spent on his gaming consoles have finally taken their toll.

“I hate Coldplay,” Levi says, but makes no move to change the station, probably waiting for Eren to take the hint.

Eren likes Coldplay. “In that case, I will try to fix you.”

Levi flips him off.

Even without showing it, Eren knows that Levi is worried. His eyes linger more than usual, he spares a touch when it isn’t necessary, makes frequent stops at restaurants in case Eren needs to use the restroom. Eren wants to tell him to quit it, that he’s perfectly fine, just a little hung over.

Eren doesn’t feel fine, and he’d rather not lie.

“One more and you’re walking to Stanford.” Levi pushes his aviators up his nose when he turns onto the highway. He looks far too good looking with a black t-shirt and faded jeans. “Drink some water. You look dehydrated.”

Eren ignores him, leaning back in his seat and humming along to Coldplay. He really does like this song. The wind pushing his hair out of his face feels amazing, sort of like flying, and he wonders if Levi feels the same, if that’s the reason why he bought himself a convertible.

Bouncing his leg, Eren flexes his fist over his knees. He’s been nervous all day long. Out of place. Compared to that other world, this place truly does feel like paradise. Levi’s words of how it could be so much worse hit him like a freight train. The breakdown back in Wyoming makes so much sense in this context, and Eren can feel his stomach twist sickeningly.

There’s a phantom sting on his right hand.

Like flipping a switch, every single ounce of anxiety leaves him, dipping him into a sense of serenity. Regardless, he needs to know. He needs to know if Mikasa and Armin know. He wonders if Jean, wherever he may be, knows.

Right now, however, on this desolate strip of road, there is only one pressing matter to tend to. Something needs to be said, _sealed_ , even.

Licking his suddenly dry lips, Eren opens his mouth to speak. It takes him several tries as he searches for the right words, but the keep on failing. Either Levi hasn’t noticed, or he’s pointedly ignoring him until he gathers his wits.

It takes one deep breath and the mantra of _this could be worse_ to get Eren to finally say what he needs to say.

“Let’s do this right this time around, Captain.”

The words leave him in a rush, his entire body tensing as he waits for an answer. He sees it, the way Levi’s hands tighten on the steering wheel and his jaw clenches.

Levi leans forward and changes the station.

The strange feeling continues to float around Eren’s stomach as he turns his sights to the dry outlands. An overwhelming sense of freedom makes his chest quiver and his eyes sting, because he remembers flying, the thrill of a freefall while knowing he won’t hit the ground. It feels very much like this, but here, there is no such thing as the fear of being eaten by monsters in the back of his mind.

It could be so much worse, and they’re _alive_.

Suddenly, Mikasa and Armin’s choice to leave for California makes so much more sense. He swears to visit the beach with them more often.

Eren will personally give his former commander a call and ask for that transfer.

It’s when cars begin to appear that Eren realizes that Levi was driving well above the speed limit, and he eases to a stop behind a van at a toll booth.

“I’m not your captain anymore,” Levi finally says, turning to Eren.

That simple phrase lifts the world off Eren’s shoulders.

“How long have you known?”

“Pennsylvania,” he says, drumming his fingertips against the steering wheel as the inch forward. “I thought I was going crazy.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Eren picks at a stain in his jeans. “Who else you think knows?”

“On my end, Hanji and Erwin. Not sure about my squ… my…” Levi licks his lips and pulls in a deep breath. “Petra and the others.”

Eren swallows around the knot in his throat, before letting go of a shaky laugh. “Back in Wyoming.”

Levi nods. “Erwin kept telling me to calm the fuck down.” Turning to Eren, he asks, “Do you remember how—?”

“Yes,” Eren says quickly, not wanting to talk about their deaths. “Sort of. It just cuts off, so I assume… you know, that that’s when it happens.” Being put down by his own sister isn’t something he wants to linger on. “You?”

Levi looks away. “In a world without titans, I didn’t have anything left to live for.” Eren figures that it’s easier to swallow a bag of crushed glass. “I didn’t kill myself, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Eren sags in relief.

“Looks like this time around, the universe gave Erwin a conscience.”

It takes for a moment for the realization to set in. When it does, Eren isn’t sure how he feels about it. All he hopes is that Erwin delivered a quick and painless death to Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

“So we’re here to atone?” Eren asks, not wanting to even think about the reason why they’re here again. “Universe should have just done us a favor and not let us remember. That was a sick blow.”

Levi chuckles. “I can deal with atonement, but I don’t regret shit.”

“Not even committing the taboo of sleeping with your subordinate?” Eren says with a small smile.

Turning towards him again, Levi returns the smile. “It’s easier,” he says, reaching out for Eren’s hand and entwining their fingers together. “This time around, it’s easier to feel things.”

“I think you mean that it’s easier to show feelings,” Eren clarifies, squeezing their fingers with enough adoration to last a million lifetimes. “You always felt things, Levi. The world was just too fucked to let you express them.”

“The world didn’t stop me when it came to you, fucking brat.”

Eren nods, and adjusts his seatbelt with his free hand. “True.”

“What do we do now?” Levi says, letting go of Eren’s hand to pay the toll.

“Absolutely nothing,” Eren says once they’re cruising under the Californian sky. “We roll with it, I guess. Eat, sleep, be regular, boring people. Work in an office, have sex in the same office, swap Valentines, give each other presents on Christmas, go on vacation, hold hands in public, eat pizza on Friday nights.”

Levi scratches at his chin before nodding in approval. “Sounds good enough for me.”

The music changes to a classic rock song, the strumming of an acoustic guitar familiar to the both of them. It’s a pleasant change from all the country and bluegrass they’ve been listening to during the past couple of days.

Eren taps his fingers to the beat, and grins when he hears Levi singing along beside him. He eventually joins in, giggling when Levi gets a little too into it. It’s a good song, he decides, mostly because it reminds him of his childhood days, and the guitar riffs are pretty cool.

“ _All that I want is to have my peace of mind._ ”

Looking at Levi out of the corner of his eye, Eren is certain he wouldn’t have done this any other way.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Eren says, placing his head back against his headrest. “I’m just surprised about how much you’ve changed despite being exactly the same asshole.”

“I could say the same for you. Your level of maturity wavers from time to time, and you’re still a goddamned kid,” Levi says with a shrug. “Shithead.”

To be frank, Eren isn’t the least bit surprised. He doesn’t know whether it’s the California sun or Levi’s words, but his chest feels ready to explode with warmth. “I love you, too.”

“Good, because otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do with the fucking ring I bought in Vegas.”

Eren blinks once, twice, three times before - “What ring?”

Levi shrugs.

“Oh, come _on_. What ring are you talking about? Levi!”

“Still an impatient little shit.”

“And you’re a goddamned douchebag.”

Levi’s smile is charming enough to melt Eren’s heart. “I’ll show you when we get to the coast, okay? A promise is a promise, even if it took me a second lifetime to fulfill.”

Eren remembers a younger version of himself, overwhelmed with feelings and emotions for a man he should fear. He remembers being chained to a wall, and warm lips pressed to his cheek as they mumble a promise, a reason to survive the final mission they know they won’t return from.

Covering his mouth, Eren doesn’t bother being embarrassed by the tears leaving trails down his cheeks. He remembers the promise of building a world of their own, a better one, one where they can’t be harmed by titans or the military.

“I love you so fucking much it hurts,” Eren laughs out through his tears. “I can’t even believe this shit.”

Levi’s smile turns softer as he switches lanes. “I love you, too, Eren.”

Eren laughs again. “I can totally get used to you being a complete sap.”

“Fuck off,” Levi says. “But I guess that’s good. Means we can have sex in a bubble bath with rose petals.”

“This life gave you a romantic bone, huh?”

“No, it’s just cleaner and there’s no need to dirty the bed sheets.”

“You’re horrible.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ idiot,” Eren says with a triumphant grin.

He knows he’s won, because Levi nods his head. “That you are.”

There’s a hint of sadness in him, knowing that they’ve reached the end of their road trip, but this treasure of a feeling, this _hope_ that manifests inside of him, keeps him from feeling too disappointed. The entire world is just a plane ride away. Sure there are still giants to face, mostly their own personal ones, but the absence of walls inspires enough reason to keep on fighting.

And he will.

Even without the Wings of Freedom emblazoned on his back, Eren won’t stop tackling the world with the same determination he had back in the day. Even in this boring and eventless world, there’s a reason to live, and he’ll take it.

Sitting back and closing his eyes, Eren basks in the feeling of belonging, of being loved.

Those shadows of anger and insecurity still linger in the back of his mind, but he doesn’t have to face them alone.

He won’t rest until they’ve defeated them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I will grow tired of the reincarnation trope. Today is not that day. Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you have a wonderful rest of your life. ❤


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